Before you write me off for my odd talking I do have a few problems and I am very out of touch with my emotions. It is due to things I cannot control. I never know what I am feeling- I have to research it. I would thank you for being understanding on that point.

Well- This kind of thing has been on my mind for ages. I am a girl (physically) but I don't think I should be. I first dressed as a guy at an anime convention and people treated me like a guy! I was so happy I went every year... and at a school play I was allowed to play a guy. I've been doing text roleplay online- and I've always played male. I CAN'T play females. I don't know why... Well I think this is my answer.

After looking up "Ghost Penis" which should have been "Phantom Penis" (Phantom as in what amputees feel you know?) I finally found that transsexuals that are physically female get that. Me and my friends have joked about me being a guy- but again I never considered it. So- here I am. The more I thought about it over a few months- the more excited I got.

The problem is I don't know where to start. I want to go all the way- but I think I should wait until my parents are dead to start... They would probably be disappointed. (and they are the kind to talk about anything under the sun. I would be talked to all the time about it.... -shudder- they are the humiliating kinds of parents that are like "Are you on your period yet?" in the middle of a store.)

I don't know what to do about that point in particular. My mom was surprised when I bought my chest binding shirt...

Oh- here is the link to the shirt I bought. They are heavenly. They do the job right (I look like I have pecs instead of my 38Cs when I wear it) and they are very, very comfortable once you get used to it- provided you got the right size.

en.nabeshirt.com

I already own a sleeveless and a running- and though I am a bit fat and get these rolls on my armpits... they look really good with a loose T-Shirt over it. I am getting the Rash Guard before next summer ^.^ And I want the flat one... The whole company is very nice- but sort of expensive.

Anyways- I wanted some advise on where to start. I am just entering college and I am 18 now.. but I don't know what to do. Gah. Help?

You've come to the right place.  Susans is the answer to any question, especially a TG question.

Sounds like you've definitely got the "signs" of ->-bleeped-<-.  I would definitely suggest going to a therapist to analyze your situation.  If you are in college, make an appointment at the counseling office.  It's FREE and confidential.  I promise, they help a lot.

Welcome to Susans, let me know if you need anything.

Brady

You don't sound entirely sure of yourself quite yet... you need to let the idea settle before you assume you're a transsexual. Because feeling like a boy or liking to dress like a boy could be a lot of things. The other guys here will want to shoot me for this, but there is such a thing as being a drag king and not actually a guy.

Not that I'm saying you are. I'm saying that before you try to shoot yourself with testosterone, be sure you're not a fetishist... If you are, you'll be in for a world of hurt.

Keep doing what you're doing. Explore this. Ask yourself a lot of questions.

Welcome to Susan's bro No one's here to attack you. We are all one big family, no matter what. I think you should take time out to reexamine yourself like Elwood said. Don't just jump to conclusions or anything, because this is a HUGE step to make bro. It's one thing to be able to accept that you're transsexual, but another to make sure you are. I'm not questioning your manhood man, just want you to be able to take things slow. I know I am going to get chest surgery and testosterone....about 80% sure right now. But I am not ready in the least bit. I will wait years if I have to to see if I like just being me or chest surgery is necessary to get over my dysphoria. At the present time my dysphoria is not as high as some of the other guys here so I'm just willing to take things slowly, but it is still there for sure.


Chill bro and welcome again You will always be welcome here whether or not it turns out you are an ftm