i just wanted to introduce myself, i've been lurking for a bit but i just finally got up the nerve to join.

my name is gaby and i don't know what you'd call me, ftm? genderqueer (seems an odd word to me)? i know i don't really identify as female, i've always felt more like "one of the guys," and i have always wished for a lot of masculine things, including a penis (i tried to turn my belly button into one when i was very young, 2-4). but i look very feminine, i could never pass, and i don't know that i could go through with surgery. i classify myself as bisexual, i have been with both men and women, and i love them both.

so really i'm just an odd one, looking for some understanding friends.

Hello there plasticreality,

Welcome to Susan's, don't worry you are among very understanding friends here.  And don't ever consider yourself "odd".  Things can be odd, but people aren't    I have to ask, how on earth would you make a penis out of a belly button,  I just looked at mine and since it's an inny, there's no way.  I guess your's must have been a outy... 

But seriously, welcome, relax and enjoy Susan's, and ok, maybe we all are a little odd in our own way. 

Steph

trust me, i didn't have much success! i distinctly remember trying to pee standing up into a toilet-training "potty" while pulling on my belly button, thinking it would do something.

my family still teases me about how irritated and red my belly button was for so long....

Hello Gaby and Welcome to Susan's most wonderful Place

Testosterone can do so much as far as converting the feminine body over to masculine. Muscle mass, fat redistribution, voice, whiskers even. My advice as far as passing goes is never think that you cannot until you've tried all the way.

Please feel free to join in on the conversations

well, not that i'm trying to look at all masculine in these pics, but this is me:

hiking with my boyfriend


in a dress!


my problem isn't just "passing" though, it's that in a lot of ways, i'm not so sure i want to have any kind of T therapy or anything... i've gotten used to my female body. some times, i like my breasts, but then at other times, i'll look down and wonder "what are those doing there?" i'm relatively muscular already and i have a pretty square jaw line and all that, so it's not that it would be such a stretch, i just don't know if that's what i want.

Deciding what you want can definitely be the hard part sometimes

boyfriend looks like a likeable guy.  How does he feel about your feelings?

terri

Hi:
Welcome to susans.  At the phrase says, an acquaintnace is only friends we have not yet met or chatted with.

You will find a lot of good friends and support here, as have I.

Your pictures are very good. Just wish I could look as good as you dol .Ii sincerley wish you all the best.

Remember: we take one day at a time and walk slowlly

Denise

welcome Gaby,

it looks and sounds like you are doing well.

everyone here is very nice and understanding, i hope you stay and chat with us.





beth

Hi Gaby, and welcome!

Not sure you say? Well you have come to the right place. Make yourself at home. You'll find lots of really good people here and lots of info for your voyage of discovery.

Cassie

Hi Plasticreality,
I am new to messageboards also. I dont know why I have never really joined one. But if your like me, you finally just have to talk. I guess it sort of helps figure things out, tell to others, and finally hear yourself tell others what you feel.