i'm not too sure how to classify myself, i'm a genetic male, mentally in some ways i'm a girl, in others a straight male, etc. anyway, here i am.

Hello, r2073877. Welcome to Susan's Place!!

That's quite a screen name! Don't worry too much about classifications for the moment. OK? How 'bout we just classify you as one more human being who needs to get some clarity on his/her/their life? Would that be okay?

Every person has struggles, luv, and if being here and reading and writing helps in some small way for you to find comfort on your own pathway, then we can all be happy and proud for you, for ourselves even!

Someone is gonna tell you that being "mentally in some ways i'm a girl, in others a straight male," doesn't make sense to them and they are gonna want you to understand that they are not gay, just transsexual or trangendered. But definitions don't always follow life, just a lot of life.

So, tell me more. How does being in some ways mentally a girl effect your life? Do you struggle with that in some ways?

Just take your time. There's oodles of time and your true responsibility in all of this is to yourself, not to any of us. Just be you and join us and we'll all try to find some ease and comfort. OK?

It's nice of you to drop in and I'll be looking forward to hearing more about you.

Nichole

hey R, welcome!

I was like that for many years. Some people never stop feeling that way. Regardless of the "label", this is a great place to gain a handle on yourself and talk to people with similar experiences.  Jump in!

You'll get it, don't sweat it.

Quote from: Nichole on September 20, 2008, 08:44:34 AM
So, tell me more. How does being in some ways mentally a girl effect your life? Do you struggle with that in some ways?

It doesn't perhaps actively, directly affect my real life, but it completely dominates my sexual fantasy life - to the point i don't sexually fantasise about anything other than being taken, as a female, by a man (yet when meeting people in real life i'm far more likely to be attracted to females than males, and i don't want to be female socially, for example). I struggle because i cannot fulfill these fantasies.

Hello there and welcome to Susan's!

Thanks so much for introducing yourself.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink

Yes, welcome to Susan's!

I think you'll find a lot of people here who are just as confused about how to classify themselves.

And those who aren't are in denial! (bah bum BUM)

Certainly I'm here because I'm trying to figure out what I am, and what I want to be when I grow up. If I grow up; so far, I've resisted it for many decades.

Like you, I'm a straight genetic male. I have some guy characteristics (electronics & tech junkie), but not others (hate sports and cars, don't chase women). On the other hand, I have some girl traits (waiting to be asked, passive, love pretty dresses, etc), but not others (hate kids, don't like guys, etc). And I don't want to be a female socially -- at least not if I'd have to spend hours a day making myself look beautiful. Once in a while, sure! But 24/7? Yuck!

If I could go back to the moment of my conception and pick which sperm hit the egg, I would have picked one with an X. But given that I was dealt a Y chromosome, I've decided to play that hand rather than call for a new card. So far, anyway.

And most of my sexual fantasies involve being turned into an attractive girl and placed in situations where guys try hit on me.

Exciting fantasy? You betcha! But would I like the reality? Hell, no! At least I don't think I would! Hence my confusion.

Sorry to go on so much about me, but I hope that sounds familiar to you.

One thing that puzzled me about what you said, though.

Quote from: r2073877i don't sexually fantasize about anything other than being taken, as a female, by a man ... I struggle because i cannot fulfill these fantasies.

I wasn't sure what you meant by that last sentence. Are you struggling because you want to fulfill those fantasies, but can't?

Quote from: MarySue on September 21, 2008, 11:18:09 AM
Like you, I'm a straight genetic male. I have some guy characteristics (electronics & tech junkie), but not others (hate sports and cars, don't chase women). On the other hand, I have some girl traits (waiting to be asked, passive, love pretty dresses, etc), but not others (hate kids, don't like guys, etc). And I don't want to be a female socially -- at least not if I'd have to spend hours a day making myself look beautiful. Once in a while, sure! But 24/7? Yuck!

If I could go back to the moment of my conception and pick which sperm hit the egg, I would have picked one with an X. But given that I was dealt a Y chromosome, I've decided to play that hand rather than call for a new card. So far, anyway.

I feel much the same, you put it far more clearly than I - there are lots of things I don't like about femaleness and there are too many drawbacks to changing, and there are somethings I do like about being male, so I'm letting fantasies remain that, at least for now.

Quote from: MarySue on September 21, 2008, 11:18:09 AMAnd most of my sexual fantasies involve being turned into an attractive girl and placed in situations where guys try hit on me.

Mine involve being turned into an attractive female, and an attractive man walkiing into the room and, ahem, taking charge. I also fantasise sometimes about experiencing puberty as a girl.

Quote from: MarySue on September 21, 2008, 11:18:09 AMOne thing that puzzled me about what you said, though.

Quote from: r2073877i don't sexually fantasize about anything other than being taken, as a female, by a man ... I struggle because i cannot fulfill these fantasies.

I wasn't sure what you meant by that last sentence. Are you struggling because you want to fulfill those fantasies, but can't?

Yes.

Well, if you *really* want to be a female, but you don't want to go the TS route, then you're out of luck. Sigh!

But there are at least two alternatives.

The cyber approach is to go to one of the on-line role playing sites, like LIL and D&X, and reinvent yourself as a female. I've done that, and I find it's a lot of fun. I just have to watch out for the occasional wackjob who doesn't realize it's a game, for heavens sake.

The up-close and in-person approach is to doll yourself up and go to a CD friendly club. I haven't -- it's hard for me to pass (heavy beard & body hair), and I don't really want to do it with a guy. But clearly a lot of CDs go to places like that.

Oh yes, one more approach is to write stories exploring your own fantasies. I've also done that, and it's surprisingly satisfying. After a while, the characters take over. They're in control, not me, and I just want see what they do next.

Quote from: MarySue on September 22, 2008, 05:11:54 PM
The cyber approach is to go to one of the on-line role playing sites, like LIL and D&X, and reinvent yourself as a female. I've done that, and I find it's a lot of fun. I just have to watch out for the occasional wackjob who doesn't realize it's a game, for heavens sake.

I've never done this, I should try it one day.

Quote from: MarySue on September 22, 2008, 05:11:54 PMThe up-close and in-person approach is to doll yourself up and go to a CD friendly club. I haven't -- it's hard for me to pass (heavy beard & body hair), and I don't really want to do it with a guy. But clearly a lot of CDs go to places like that.

I've never been in public dressed as a girl, but I have had sex with men while dressed as a girl a few times - some bits were pretty good but the sex itself wasn't.

Quote from: MarySue on September 22, 2008, 05:11:54 PMOh yes, one more approach is to write stories exploring your own fantasies. I've also done that, and it's surprisingly satisfying. After a while, the characters take over. They're in control, not me, and I just want see what they do next.

I've done this, I agree it can be pretty satisfying.

Ah, a name I can recall. Hello again, Karen. O, that is sooooo much easier to remember!! And already someone who "gets" you.

I thought you'd find a comfy place in here.

Nichole

Quote from: KarenS on September 22, 2008, 06:19:19 PM

Quote from: MarySue on September 22, 2008, 05:11:54 PMThe up-close and in-person approach is to doll yourself up and go to a CD friendly club. I haven't -- it's hard for me to pass (heavy beard & body hair), and I don't really want to do it with a guy. But clearly a lot of CDs go to places like that.

I've never been in public dressed as a girl, but I have had sex with men while dressed as a girl a few times - some bits were pretty good but the sex itself wasn't.

That's too bad! I'm sorry the sex was disappointing. Did they behave like typical guys and roll over and fall asleep afterwards? Or (God forbid!) were they, shall we say, the fastest guns in the west?

Sorry! But I figured as long as it's just us girls, I couldn't pass up the chance to ask! 

Seriously, though, what were the "good bits?" It sounded like they weren't directly related to sex.

Quote from: MarySue on September 22, 2008, 11:34:03 PM

Quote from: KarenS on September 22, 2008, 06:19:19 PM
I've never been in public dressed as a girl, but I have had sex with men while dressed as a girl a few times - some bits were pretty good but the sex itself wasn't.

That's too bad! I'm sorry the sex was disappointing. Did they behave like typical guys and roll over and fall asleep afterwards? Or (God forbid!) were they, shall we say, the fastest guns in the west?

Sorry! But I figured as long as it's just us girls, I couldn't pass up the chance to ask! 

Seriously, though, what were the "good bits?" It sounded like they weren't directly related to sex.

One of them was rather impatient, so I didn't really get into the whole thing, and couldn't even finish shaving (this was my 1st time with a man), the others weren't much into foreplay and the anal sex itself doesn't give me much physical pleasure.
Being fondled while dressed up was the best bit (having my behind fondled in particular was very good  ), talking about my fantasies was also good, as was being dressed up in front of  a man.

Posted on: September 23, 2008, 06:13:53 PM

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Quote from: Nichole on September 22, 2008, 07:15:36 PM
Ah, a name I can recall. Hello again, Karen. O, that is sooooo much easier to remember!! And already someone who "gets" you.

I thought you'd find a comfy place in here.

Nichole

Yep, it's great to have people that understand.

Welcome Karen to Susans Place!