Hey All!
Wow! All your posts described how I was 3 or 4 years ago. I now have oodles of friends. I'm openly out, I go to Church in a dress, Wear Skirts when I shop, and I love to shop. And when I don't see my friends, I call them. How did this happen?
Welp. I learned to love myself for one. I joined a Church, not an ordinary hate-hate church, but one that's a member of the Evergreen Alliance, A group of different churches all over the country that support gay rights, and I met wonderful accepting people there. In fact, that's where I met the first TS friend I've ever had.
I started going to a 12 step group, and it was a wonderful and accepting environment and the friends I've made I do go shopping with, and if a Theater were available we'd probably hit the movies once in a while.
I have Bipolar disorder, with Severely suicidal depressions, and although it nearly killed me two years ago, it gained me access to a Bipolar support group of really caring people who were extremely supportive. The women I met there were very helpful, and still coach me in the things a girl should have learned from the beginning.
Lastly, once I had a little confidence, I started to get to know my neighbors. I live in a 20 unit apartment building. It was the brain child of Howard Bess, Author of "Pastor I'm gay" and designed to be an apartment building for independent regular life living, but with the needs of those with mental illness diagnosis in mind. My neighbors are mostly long timers and a bit stand offish at first, but just listening to them tell their stories became the bedrock of some great friendships.
So, my best advice would be to trust who you are, be confident - We aren't freaks, we can hold our heads high and be proud of ourselves. Put on your favorite outfit, go out, volunteer somewhere (homeless shelters, food banks, local theaters, hospitals), or go to a group like Al-Anon, Overeater's Anonymous, Alateen, there are a great many.
Many of us are afraid of the meanness of people out there. There are definitely really sick, unhealthy people out there to be sure. But, like all girls, if we are mindful of potentially bad situations (no transportation, no phone, no escape routes, bad areas of town at night), and go where people are by inclination open and accepting, Pflag for instance, then we can find nurturing friendships in our communities. It's important I think.
But Susan's Place is always here for us too.
