How to Deal with Family and Friends Top Ten Tips #5: Have Patience
Filed by: Michele O'Mara
September 23, 2008 9:00 AM

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/09/how_to_deal_with_family_and_friends_top.php

Loss is defined as anything that is different than you hoped it would be.

Typically, being gay or lesbian is not something our friends and family "want" or hope for us. Therefore, they may be experiencing a sense of loss - loss of their own dreams for us and sense of loss for the person they thought we were. Giving friends and family time to adjust, time to grieve, and time to accept is important.

I knew something was "different" about me as early as age eight. I didn't associate it with my attraction to other females until I was in middle school. It took me another eight years to accept that I was a lesbian. That's a total of twelve years that I spent getting adjusted to the fact that who I am, and who I was becoming was not what I had hoped for myself.

Coming out to family and friends I think was one of the hardest things about my transitioning.  When I came out the response was fairly negative.  In fact my siblings and I are not on speaking terms and we exchange insults if we do speak.  Only one who is sort of ok with the real me is my mother, but she still has moments.

Still I would not change a thing if I had it to do all over again.  Coming out was a tremendous weight lifted off my back.  I ended up transitioning first before coming out and I found out who my real friends and family were.