My dysphoria is really REALLY bad when it comes to my chest....

it grosses me out to look at it,

it feels wrong when I see it in shirts/surfwear

and I'm just to the point of pulling my hair out about it cause I'm ALWAYS aware that those lumps are there.

It's to the point where I feel I'm finally mentally ready for chest surgery....but wait, I'm not even on T or remotely considering it...?

I don't like the idea of doing things for frivolous reasons, and right now my only reasons to go on T would be frivolous, whereas my chest is a REAL pain for me. I just want it gone....

First question: I feel like I'm weird for wanting surgery but not T...At least not yet.. Has anyone else made that kind of leap, where you just skip a step, but not on purpose??

Second question:  Is it possible for me to make a partial transition in this sense? Surgery but not T?

I can definitely relate. These "freakbags," as I think you sometimes call them, are driving me nuts, too. It's gotten to the point where I'm aware of them almost all the time, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Ick.

I have read that some guys do get top surgery first. However, I know nothing about it, so I'm not much help.

I hope you get some good replies. I'm interested to hear what others have to say.

People do this all the time.  Not every surgeon is (was?) cool w/doing top surgery without T.  It's becoming increasingly more common, so that may have shifted since the last time I asked around.

You CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

But since you've only been keen on this for a couple months... I don't think your chances of top surgery any time soon are very high...

Trapthavok, I actually plan to get top surgery first, before I do anything, so maybe its the doctor. All I need is 6000, and one letter. Thats all he requires, and as soon as I get money, Im going to get the top surgery. So were somewhat harmonius in thought, besides, hairy breasts are...well...Im goin with top surgery before anything.

I know how you feel. It feels like recently I've been becoming more and more aware of these things on my chest. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I take my morning shower. It's not that I don't think I can live one morning without a shower, it's just that my hair is easier to style if it's damp.

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 08:07:24 AM
You CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

But since you've only been keen on this for a couple months... I don't think your chances of top surgery any time soon are very high...

Obviously I can't get it anytime soon, I don't even have that kind of financial stability yet, I still have one foot out the door (of my parents home) as far as I'm concerned.

And yes, I haven't been on this track as long as you have, but that doesn't mean the dysphoria's not there or that I am not near the point of being physically nauseated just by seeing my freakbags. Because I'm there. This is real to me, and just the hope that someday I can make it all go away is enough for me, for now.


I'm glad to hear that this is a possibility....I'm not going to go running to my therapist for a referral letter obviously, but I'm glad to have the knowledge.


Morning showers are definitely uncomfortable. I've been running past the mirror every morning, making sure that towel is tightly secured around me so I don't have to see them, for as long as I can remember (or as long as they've been there). It just gets so much worse now that I know I'm trans...

Quote from: trapthavok on October 02, 2008, 09:47:41 AM

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 08:07:24 AMYou CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

But since you've only been keen on this for a couple months... I don't think your chances of top surgery any time soon are very high...

Obviously I can't get it anytime soon, I don't even have that kind of financial stability yet, I still have one foot out the door (of my parents home) as far as I'm concerned.

And yes, I haven't been on this track as long as you have, but that doesn't mean the dysphoria's not there or that I am not near the point of being physically nauseated just by seeing my freakbags. Because I'm there. This is real to me, and just the hope that someday I can make it all go away is enough for me, for now.


I'm glad to hear that this is a possibility....I'm not going to go running to my therapist for a referral letter obviously, but I'm glad to have the knowledge.


Morning showers are definitely uncomfortable. I've been running past the mirror every morning, making sure that towel is tightly secured around me so I don't have to see them, for as long as I can remember (or as long as they've been there). It just gets so much worse now that I know I'm trans...

I wasn't trying to say you didn't have dysphoria, I was just saying that you can't expect the treatment to be any faster for you. It sucks but that's how it is.

I too, have periods of nausea caused by dysphoria. But we all have to do the same thing: we gotta deal while we're waiting.

One of my friends had his sugery before T. But he was in his 40's and was certain he wanted to transition.

As for hiding from my chest, I don't really. I take the opposite approach, trying to understand my anatomy as well as I can so I can know what to expect surgically.

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 10:16:22 AM

Quote from: trapthavok on October 02, 2008, 09:47:41 AM

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 08:07:24 AMYou CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

But since you've only been keen on this for a couple months... I don't think your chances of top surgery any time soon are very high...

Obviously I can't get it anytime soon, I don't even have that kind of financial stability yet, I still have one foot out the door (of my parents home) as far as I'm concerned.

And yes, I haven't been on this track as long as you have, but that doesn't mean the dysphoria's not there or that I am not near the point of being physically nauseated just by seeing my freakbags. Because I'm there. This is real to me, and just the hope that someday I can make it all go away is enough for me, for now.


I'm glad to hear that this is a possibility....I'm not going to go running to my therapist for a referral letter obviously, but I'm glad to have the knowledge.


Morning showers are definitely uncomfortable. I've been running past the mirror every morning, making sure that towel is tightly secured around me so I don't have to see them, for as long as I can remember (or as long as they've been there). It just gets so much worse now that I know I'm trans...

I wasn't trying to say you didn't have dysphoria, I was just saying that you can't expect the treatment to be any faster for you. It sucks but that's how it is.

I too, have periods of nausea caused by dysphoria. But we all have to do the same thing: we gotta deal while we're waiting.

I never said I was in a rush to make this happen for me, it was just a simple question, no strings attached. I am still in my pondering phases very much  so and I'm not ready to take action yet.

So essentially, the answer is, yes, you can have surgery before hormones. I don't know if you could have it without having transition in mind, though,

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 08:07:24 AM
You CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

This isn't necessarily so.  I have a female-identified friend who has always been female-identified.  She has never considered hormones, bottom surgery, taking on a male name, pronouns, etc.  She has had top surgery and has a male chest.  It's up to the surgeon- if you're a woman who has never truly identified with her breasts, you can get them removed.  No transition plans necessary, no male ID even necessary.  Whatever professional you're dealing with, be it surgeon, therapist, etc., make sure you come correct.

Quote from: trapthavok on October 02, 2008, 09:47:41 AM

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 08:07:24 AM
You CAN have top surgery before T. But you have to be able to say that you do plan on transitioning. At least that's what I've heard.

But since you've only been keen on this for a couple months... I don't think your chances of top surgery any time soon are very high...

Obviously I can't get it anytime soon, I don't even have that kind of financial stability yet, I still have one foot out the door (of my parents home) as far as I'm concerned.

And yes, I haven't been on this track as long as you have, but that doesn't mean the dysphoria's not there or that I am not near the point of being physically nauseated just by seeing my freakbags. Because I'm there. This is real to me, and just the hope that someday I can make it all go away is enough for me, for now.


I'm glad to hear that this is a possibility....I'm not going to go running to my therapist for a referral letter obviously, but I'm glad to have the knowledge.


Morning showers are definitely uncomfortable. I've been running past the mirror every morning, making sure that towel is tightly secured around me so I don't have to see them, for as long as I can remember (or as long as they've been there). It just gets so much worse now that I know I'm trans...

I feel ya. Waaaaaayback in 2004 (lol), I went through a severe period of discomfort. I used to sleep nekkid (cannot now) and would walk into the bathroom in the morning and be like wtf is wrong with my chest??? Oh yeah. t!ts.  I mean, it was like waking up Fomori without the benefits (Look it up under "World of Darkness" if you don't know). Then i'd be nauseated for the first half of the day while i tried to forget.

Now I'm finding difficulty with hygiene (eeeew smelly) because it causes that confrontation... i also tend to throw a large flannel shirt or hoodie on top and wrap the towel around the bottom because for me personally, wrapping a towel around my chest = Girl.

Quote from: Mister on October 02, 2008, 01:27:12 PMThis isn't necessarily so.  I have a female-identified friend who has always been female-identified.  She has never considered hormones, bottom surgery, taking on a male name, pronouns, etc.  She has had top surgery and has a male chest.  It's up to the surgeon- if you're a woman who has never truly identified with her breasts, you can get them removed.  No transition plans necessary, no male ID even necessary.  Whatever professional you're dealing with, be it surgeon, therapist, etc., make sure you come correct.

You seem to live in an area where things are much easier, but you have to remember that not all of us are by these magical and plentiful resources. I am not going to overglorify the idea. I will instead prepare Nate for the more relevant reality.

Posted on: October 02, 2008, 11:37:08 am

---

Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 02, 2008, 01:29:11 PMwrapping a towel around my chest = Girl.

I disagree with this. If it's freaking cold, I'm going to put the towel over my shoulders. I also know for a fact my dad puts the towel over his shoulders as well. And he's all 100% male more than most of us transguys could ask for (seriously, with his genetics I wish I was born male...)

I live in San Francisco.  My 90% of my transition took place in New Jersey.  The surgeon of which I speak, Brownstein, is also in San Francisco.  He operates on folks from all over and does between 5-8 top surgeries per week.  People fly in from all over the place- I've personally met a guy from as far away as Greece.  It's hard to get much farther from San Francisco without coming back.  Most people travel for their surgeons- it's rare that there's one in your hometown.  So really, there is no reason that Nate (or anyone) couldn't fly in for Brownstein, go to Cleveland for Medalie or take a trip to Florida for Garramone.

Hell, people fly to Thailand and Serbia for phallos and metas.  Travel is nearly essential in trangender surgeries.

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 01:38:50 PM

Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 02, 2008, 01:29:11 PMwrapping a towel around my chest = Girl.

I disagree with this. If it's freaking cold, I'm going to put the towel over my shoulders. I also know for a fact my dad puts the towel over his shoulders as well. And he's all 100% male more than most of us transguys could ask for (seriously, with his genetics I wish I was born male...)

I think you got the wrong idea. I'm pretty sure what Lane was trying to say was wrapping the towel around your body = girl, leaving your shoulders exposed. In the morning, I will put the towel on my shoulders. It helps hide my chest from myself.

Quote from: Adam on October 02, 2008, 02:14:52 PM

Quote from: Elwood on October 02, 2008, 01:38:50 PM

Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 02, 2008, 01:29:11 PMwrapping a towel around my chest = Girl.

I disagree with this. If it's freaking cold, I'm going to put the towel over my shoulders. I also know for a fact my dad puts the towel over his shoulders as well. And he's all 100% male more than most of us transguys could ask for (seriously, with his genetics I wish I was born male...)

I think you got the wrong idea. I'm pretty sure what Lane was trying to say was wrapping the towel around your body = girl, leaving your shoulders exposed. In the morning, I will put the towel on my shoulders. It helps hide my chest from myself.

To clarify, wrapping my towel at the underarm instead of the waist makes me feel girly and that's very uncomfortable.

I know how you feel I really do. I hate having to wrap a towel under my arms, but I do usually put a one over my head and shoulders too.

I know that they do perform top sugery for people who aren't on T.

I understand you entirely, I am definitely all for top surgery before anything else.

I have yet to find a means of binding these monsters reasonably these days. 

I hate the towel thing, too...  but I have to wrap it tightly around my chest, under my arms...  I can't even stand the pain that I get in the length of a from not wearing a bra for even so short a time.

Even if i don't take T, which I most likely will, I will have top surgery no matter what. I have to wait a year to take T so I plan to have surgery around aprilish or something like that.

Just be sure of your decision, that's all that matters

http://www.transgenderflorida.com/

that's the surgeon I'm currently interested in, if i recall correctly, he does the surgery without T if desired