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Fun with Pronouns

Started by Ender, October 04, 2008, 01:17:35 AM

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Ender

So maybe I should just start hanging around professors who don't know me...  I am officially a 'he, sir, and young man' to the professor and lab manager of my surveying class.  Reason being: the class is so bloody big neither of them has bothered to match the names & pictures on their class roster to the actual people sitting before them.  (Anyone else's college provide a name+picture roster like this?  It's really annoying for smaller classes where the profs try to memorize everyone's name, and my photo is plastered right next to my standard-issue-female name.) 

But it's sweet being called 'he' throughout a conversation, even though I'm talking and sounding pretty darn high-pitched (to my own ears at least).  And I've got at least one professor of one of those smaller classes calling me {male name}--because he insisted everybody in the class put name cards in front of them and for some reason I couldn't suck it up and bear to have anything else but the truth (even if it's not legal yet) written in front of me.  He's cool, but seems a little perplexed by me  :P  As is my lab partner in another class, who refers to me as 'he' and looked terribly confused when the teaching assistant said 'she.'  Actually, this incongruence of pronouns and perception may turn into something of a problem for me... hm..

Some random professor also kept calling me 'he' while I was in the payroll office getting my paycheck sorted out; the lady who handles the payroll considers me a 'she' because she is privy to my birth name and other legal information.  I was expecting odd looks, but she didn't correct the professor; she did give me a slight look of pity.

However, lest I think things are going too good with regards to my appearance and voice--there's a group of high schoolers who apparently think my mountain bike is awesome (they keep shouting 'nice bike, man' every time they see me and the bike's about 10 years old, nothing remarkable *confusion*).  So two girls tried to strike up a conversation with me.  After I spoke, one was a bit confused and the other was still convinced I was a guy.  The confused one pressed the issue ("are you a girl?") and the other one stated "shut up, you're going to make him mad and he's going to hit you" (not something I'd do, btw).  I was a little caught off-guard and didn't answer the question; I just got stone-silent, glared as she repeated the question, then left.  Uhh, maybe I should grow a pair and actually answer the question?  I still feel, I dunno, dishonest in answering "no" to that question, though.  It's more of a "no, but..." kind of answer; however, I didn't feel like having to explain myself to 'em.  So I split.
"Be it life or death, we crave only reality"  -Thoreau
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Lachlann

You shouldn't have to answer in a situation like that. Unless you absolutely had to say you were biologically female, I don't think it really matters.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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PolarBear

Hey Eryk,

It's both great and somewhat frightening, isn't it, that many people use masculine pronouns while others (still) use female ones.
I am not "out" at my work, but am quite masculine looking so that most students (I work at a college) think I am male, and some collegaes as well. Most of the people I work with do know that I am female. So it does tend to get confusing for those in closest contact with me.

When I worked with a small group of young guys (around 22 years of age) I just told them not to bother correcting anyone who spoke about me as male. "It's just not worth the hassle" was the reason I used. They didn't have a problem with that, and all was fine.

Now, however, I am working with a man of about 60 years of age, and he is my only immediate workpartner. It feels completely different, and I have not talked to him about this yet. I don't know how he would respond to one of my "reasons" for not correcting people. I am not "out", though I really really wish I was. But it's too early for that.
So I can't help but cringe every time I think how the man will react when others call me "he, him, etc".

One thing I am very grateful for: There is a unisex restroom very near my office. Thank <whomever> for small blessings, since I am often glared at when I enter a female restroom, and "officially" may not enter a male restroom.

Vincent.
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