Since my first appointment went well, I decided to call and tell my parents finally.
They're divorced now, so it was easy to speak to each of them personally and separately.

I called my dad first, because we're super close (even have the exact same birthday), and he was just absolutely amazing.
Said that it would never matter what I am, because he knows who I am, and he loves me unconditionally no matter what.  Said that I would always be a beautiful person and that he would always be my champion and support me no matter what decisions that I make.

My mom was the real shocker.  We've had a very rocky history.
Everything's always been about her, about how she appears to other people, about the way people talk about her and think about her.  A lot of our previous fights have been about her disagreeing with something I believed in or felt or presented or anything of the sort just because of how people would think of her because of my actions.
When I told her, for the first time in my life, she said, "This is not about me, this is about you."
She's completely supportive, and actually said that this was no real surprise to her and she suspected it for a very long time and wishes that I had said something sooner so that they could have helped me start transitioning a lot younger and I wouldn't have had to grow up the way that I did.

I feel very blessed, and like a planet-sized weight has been taken off my shoulders.

I know there's a lot of people who haven't been so lucky, and to some extent I feel a bit guilty, but I did want to share a good story. 

Never feel guilty because things are going well for you. I'm glad it worked for you, Nick. And it is a shame that others don't have the same experience, but you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

Dennis

Quote from: Dennis on October 03, 2008, 01:55:51 PM
Never feel guilty because things are going well for you. I'm glad it worked for you, Nick. And it is a shame that others don't have the same experience, but you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

Dennis

Yeah, you're right. 
Thank you.

I second Dennis. Definitely don't feel guilty. And thanks for sharing an awesome story.

Quote from: Osiris on October 03, 2008, 02:02:58 PM
I second Dennis. Definitely don't feel guilty. And thanks for sharing an awesome story.

  Thanks.  Glad to share some happy.

I mean absolutely no offense Osiris (because I think he's gorgeous) so I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you (I'm assuming that's you in your avatar) look a lot like Josh Peck.

Yup that's me.



I feel sexy.

But thanks dude.

Quote from: Osiris on October 03, 2008, 02:34:00 PM
Yup that's me.

I feel sexy.

But thanks dude.

Hahaha.  He's changed a LOT!  I was thinking much more how he looks in the recent movie The Wackness. 

I am very happy that you have had a good outcome as a result of telling the people most close to you Nick.

I was never able to 'come out' to my parents because I 'escaped' the lair of hatred that was my family home and the life that was inflicted upon me.   I always displayed a very feminine soft nature for a boy and when ones mother is a strict Irish Catholic and ones father is a military man with ideas and expectations for his son, you can imagine how they felt when I engaged in drama, needlecraft, cookery, classical music and the general soft arts etc., whilst still at school.  Worse, when they discovered my stash of booty ( girl clothes and make-up ), my life became intolerable.

To this day ( 33 years after the fact ) my parents do not know that I am now living as a woman and hopefully on course for gender reassignment surgery.  I doubt if they care or even if they are still alive but I also do not care.  Some people say I have a duty to those that created me, oh yes, they created a genetic mess and need to pay a debt to them do I?  No.  They had the chance to help me through what is an aweful situation for someone that is unsure of ones gender identity and they reacted in a violent manner that would be considered criminal today.

Nick, be yourself at all times, never suffer guilt, be strong and let life take care of itself.  Being ones self is the most liberating feeling that I have ever known, there is no way that I would ever consider reverting to my birth gender, death is a more preferable outcome if a decision was to be forced upon me.


***Note to moderator***

This post is from the heart and not an attempt to influence the course of this thread. If it violates protocol, please do as you see fit.

Congrats, Nick!

I'm a parent and I would be supportive no matter what my kids tell me; I want them to be who they are.

I can relate.  My first therapist told me all of the horror stories and actually told me to stay in the closet (not so many words) because I'd lose everything.  I know people do.

But my kids, family, ex, friends, and now even one job they're all cool with it.  It's been a total non-event.  I have another 2 months before I come out at my current job only because of insurance (making sure my hysto is paid for before changing my gender with them) and SS (I want my gender on my SS# to say male) and both of those will happen in Dec.

Jay

congrats Nick

Nick, this is great. Enjoy your parents' support. We're always happy to hear good news like this!

Quote from: JENNIFER on October 03, 2008, 03:33:43 PM
Nick, be yourself at all times, never suffer guilt, be strong and let life take care of itself.  Being ones self is the most liberating feeling that I have ever known, there is no way that I would ever consider reverting to my birth gender, death is a more preferable outcome if a decision was to be forced upon me.

Thank you very much for your supportive words.  While I could wish for nothing more than for everyone to have as understanding parents as my own, it simply is not the case.  I am sorry to hear about what happened, and I think that your parents really missed out by losing a strong, devoted person in their lives.  It is wonderful the way you endured.

I will always remember your words.  Thank you for sharing them with me.


Thank you everyone else, as well, for your congratulations. 

I m glad you have great parents, man. Its good to be supported so congrats.

What Dennis said is 100% right. You've been handed a very good thing. Revel in it. Congrats and welcome!

That's fantastic! I'm really happy to hear it went well, this is such an important step - to have the support of those you love is wonderful.  I've been struggling myself with whether to tell my parents. Since we live so far apart, sometimes I think they don't really need to know about my transgender tendencies. Since I don't plan to transition anytime soon I'm able to keep it this way.

Congrats Nick!!!! Awesome 

Hey Nick,

I wanted to add my congrats to all the ones you already got from the people who already responded.
Stories like yours give my hope that my parents and sisters will hopefully react positively as well one day in the future.

Quote from: Vanessa Law on October 03, 2008, 10:30:37 PM
That's fantastic! I'm really happy to hear it went well, this is such an important step - to have the support of those you love is wonderful.  I've been struggling myself with whether to tell my parents. Since we live so far apart, sometimes I think they don't really need to know about my transgender tendencies. Since I don't plan to transition anytime soon I'm able to keep it this way.

I wish you nothing but the best if you ever do decide to tell them.  I live pretty far from my parents now, but they expect me to come back for almost every holiday and I intend to try, so I figure they would be bound to find out sooner or later, heh.

Quote from: PolarBear on October 04, 2008, 10:33:04 AM
Hey Nick,

I wanted to add my congrats to all the ones you already got from the people who already responded.
Stories like yours give my hope that my parents and sisters will hopefully react positively as well one day in the future.

I certainly hope so.  My dad told me that more families need to truly understand the meaning of unconditional love -- that it comes with no demands or expectations or conditions beyond just one... wanting the other person's happiness enough to help that person do whatever it takes to find that happiness even if you might not agree. 
I'm an only child (which may or may not explain how close my parents and I are).


Thank you very much, everyone.