You may be a redneck if:
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table.
3. You've been married 3 times, and you still have the same inlaws.
4. You think a woman "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Moist Admired People".
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying "Hey, watch this".
8. You've got more than one brother named Darrell.
9. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia Leader.
10. Your Senior prom had a Daycare.
11. You think the last words to "The Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines".
12. Your bathroom deodorizer is a book of matches.
13. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
14. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gasoline is in it.
15. You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
16. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
17. You cant get married to your sweetheart, cause there's a laws against it.
18. You dated one of your parents current spouses in high school.
19. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
20. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".
and last , but not least,
21.Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

QuoteYou may be a redneck if:

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying "Hey, watch this".

OK, gotta clean the coffee off of my screen now!!

This made me recall the guy who a couple of years ago stole a rocket from a helicopter base and attached it to his Chevy, and apparently used it to "crash" his car into a bluff -- about 300 feet high on the bluff, out in Wyoming or Utah or some such place.

Seems he covered about six miles or so in just a couple of seconds before dying. O, my!!


Thanks for the laughs, Nickie. My 10-year old thought they were hilarious as well.

Nichole

Quote from: nickie on August 01, 2008, 09:45:06 AM
You may be a redneck if:

11. You think the last words to "The Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines".

You mean it ain't?

You forgot
1. If directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
2. If you have ever mowed your grass and found more than one junked car.
3. You spend your weekend helping your richest relative take the wheels off their new house.

GD&R
Beverly

1. If a family gathering at your uncle's new home includes taking off the wheels.

2. If you see a sign that says 'Just Say No To Crack', and you hike up your pants.

3. Someone calls you 'Shiftless' and you reply by saying 'No my truck is  a 4 speed'.

Its kind of funny, even more funny than the jokes, that the 'blue collar' Jeff Foxworthy who started these jokes was raised in suburban Atlanta, went to Georgia Tech and worked at IBM.

Jeff was just smart enough to capitalize on his background!

Lets hear from the Master himself.

I don't think it was his background at all, which was kind of my point.  He was just making fun of others, and if that good for the goose, its sauce for the gander as they say.

Quote from: nickie on August 01, 2008, 09:45:06 AM
You may be a redneck if:

11. You think the last words to "The Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines".

You mean its not?!

Chaunte

having lived rurally and in the woods

and "turn off the paved road"
was followed by
"at the end of the dirt road,
park and walk across the cable bridge"...
i CRINGED to realize that this was true of me....

you might be a redneck

if going to the bathroom involves snowboots and a flashlight

hyuck

Yeah, Im a redneck accordin to the list, but thata how we do it in TExas.

OMG MyEnglish sucks
I don't understand even a bit...

Quote from: RN1814 on October 04, 2008, 05:31:57 AM
OMG MyEnglish sucks
I don't understand even a bit...

It's not your English. You might say it's your American. You really don't want to understand.

--

I once lived on a dirt road that I could only drive down, not up. In the winter, down was pretty dangerous too. Luckily, you could get to the top from the highway.

Driving high clearance forest service roads in passenger cars is something of a local pastime. I knew a guy who drove a little hatchback, and every time he went to change his oil, the oil pan held less than it did the previous time.

QuoteYou think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Love that!

Quote from: RN1814 on October 04, 2008, 05:31:57 AM
OMG MyEnglish sucks
I don't understand even a bit...

A redneck is a term that is used for someone who generally lives in the Southern states in America.  They are called 'redneck' because thier necks are red from working out in the sun, generally farm work.  But it usually used to describe someone with a narrow view of life.

It could be considered as a derogatory term.

The jokes are also just plain funny for most Americans, regardless where they like.

And just to add since I forgot to mention this before...Jack Daniels was one of the greatest people ever known to man

Thank U very very much Alyssa M&Janet!!

Quote from: nickie on August 01, 2008, 09:45:06 AM
You may be a redneck if:
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying "Hey, watch this".

HAHA best one on there xD

Quote from: Nichole on August 01, 2008, 10:23:54 AM

QuoteYou may be a redneck if:

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying "Hey, watch this".

OK, gotta clean the coffee off of my screen now!!

This made me recall the guy who a couple of years ago stole a rocket from a helicopter base and attached it to his Chevy, and apparently used it to "crash" his car into a bluff -- about 300 feet high on the bluff, out in Wyoming or Utah or some such place.

Seems he covered about six miles or so in just a couple of seconds before dying. O, my!!


Thanks for the laughs, Nickie. My 10-year old thought they were hilarious as well.

Nichole

OMG, the JATO rocket story!  I didn't believe it the first time I heard it, but now it's part of my cynics' repertoire.

You might be a redneck if you ever laugh at redneck jokes.


Its a serious medical condition... Like elephantitus. Don't joke about it. Seriously... Stop?