A friend gave me this site to go to to see if I can get some help.  She has been very supportive but living so far, it has been hard.  I'm 32 years old, married and finally after so many years came out to my wife about what I want to do with my life.  She was shocked about why I wanted to transition, but I was more shocked when she said she supports me.  I guess the hard part was done but at the same time now I don't know how to proceed.  I've been reading a lot lately and have been hesitant to post since my situation is probably similar and different.  I want to feminize my body and feel what many feel here, the softness, the body changes and the beauty of it, but I do not want SRS.  I've read about HRT and how to get on them, but concerned about how it might affect me.  That's the one of many parts that really scares me plus a condition my wife gave.  After having surgery for other medical conditions, I don't want another one anyway.  But I do want to be as close to a woman as I can be.  The other thing is that my wife, a condition that some of you might laugh at, said she didn't want to loose her "best friend" being my genitals.  I'm confused and have no clue how I can achieve this now and it seems that most here are either one side of the spectrum or the other.

Any help would be great.  Please I really need some guidance.   

Sadie

Hrm, I do not want to seem rude but I certainly hope there is more of you than qualifies as friend than just one part. But meh, far be it from me to judge.

Regardless, first stop tends to be chatting with a gender therapist to help you find what you want, what you need an hopefully a guide to help you get there.

So, my advice would be to find a gender therapist. I personally talk to one on occasion via phone and have no real complaints. No complaints at all if I were halfway normal. Anyway Dr.Bushong works by phone; You might have luck with one local or not.

In case you haven't id advise to be sure to peruse the resources of Susan's place as there is quite a lot of good stuff here.


Luck to you...

There are other options to SRS, including long-term hormone use (which has risks of complications) and bilateral orchiectomy (removal of testes) which is probably a safer bet, but it will make you infertile and there are other consequences also, but your wife would be able to keep her "best friend" as you say.  However, there are other factors to consider, including how you would feel about how she sees your genitals as a "best friend" if you went ahead with an Orchi.  Many things to consider so don't make such decisions lightly.

First I would follow Kimberly's advice: seek the help of a licensed therapist to help you through this.  Doesn't necessarily need to be a gender therapist; someone with an ounce of compassion who has some knowledge of gender identity disorder (GID) would work fine. 

Jenn

I agree with the gender therapist idea too...it should help to put things into perspective.
I was very reluctant myself, due to the fact the past therapists really did not help much. Finally I found one that I "clicked" with and she was a wonderful person to talk to about all this....and all of a sudden I was on my way to transistioning.

Sadie,
Your situation sounds a lot like mine... I think you'll find that this is great place to find supportive people. My wife is very reluctantly supportive, and I'm looking into getting a therapist.

Well maybe that didnt quite come out the way I thought, I was really trying to keep it PG if you know what I mean.  My wife and I have an incredible relationship and she is an amazing woman.  I couldnt ask for anything more from her.  So whatever she asks of me, I will do so without much hesitation.

Maybe that helps with my description of her.

Quote from: Kimberly on October 07, 2008, 04:16:44 PM
Hrm, I do not want to seem rude but I certainly hope there is more of you than qualifies as friend than just one part. But meh, far be it from me to judge.

Regardless, first stop tends to be chatting with a gender therapist to help you find what you want, what you need an hopefully a guide to help you get there.

So, my advice would be to find a gender therapist. I personally talk to one on occasion via phone and have no real complaints. No complaints at all if I were halfway normal. Anyway Dr.Bushong works by phone; You might have luck with one local or not.

In case you haven't id advise to be sure to peruse the resources of Susan's place as there is quite a lot of good stuff here.


Luck to you...