My neigbour last night said females are emotional creatures and my current problems is due to the HRT. So I was wondering if I should drop the HRT as it is not working for me. Will I just go back to a life of depression?

Alice

Quote from: Alice on October 02, 2008, 05:08:32 PMMy neigbour last night said females are emotional creatures and my current problems is due to the HRT. So I was wondering if I should drop the HRT as it is not working for me. Will I just go back to a life of depression?

Alice

Nah. You don't have a uterus kicking your bladder. I don't think anyone should blame estrogen for being emotional. I really suggest asking your doctor about this.

Staying on HRT or quiting is up to you.  Not your neighbor, not any of us, You.

Don't blame your current depression on the estrogen until your Doctor says that is your problem.  You need to do what is right for you.

Sarah L.

And your neighbour is qualified to comment?

How do you feel taking hormones? What do you think of the changes that are happening to your body? If they feel wrong then maybe it would be a good idea to review where you are headed. 

Check with your endo, and doctor. Get the blood work. Maybe it is a case of your hormone levels are a bit wonkey and things need adjusting. I don't think there are any standard doses that work for everyone.

Otherwise your problems are just problems you have. Realisticly you have not been transitioning for long and it can be a very stressful and draining time. Do you think this could be contributing to your emotional state? What does your councillor think?

My Neigbour is more qualified then anyone here, she has seen me strugle with this and supported me throught out. I do not want anyone questioning my neighbours or her motives, she will always be my friend.


Alice

Dearest Alice,

What does your doctor say?  I hope you can end this roller coaster soon.  I am glad you have a good neighbor.  We all need at least one like that.  I'm sure she wants the best for you.  IMHO, just as hormones affect no two GGs identically, there is no way to know exactly what your results will be.  I would ask the doctors about adjusting your levels in a controlled way until you find what works for you.  Hang in there sweetie!



Kristi

Absolutely not, under no circumstance should you go "cold turkey" meaning stop taking your hormones suddenly all at once. Just as taking these hormones can cause a major emotional imbalance stopping suddenly can cause worse problems. People have been known to attempt and complete suicide after stopping like this. In fact the sudden drop of hormones in your body could cause you worse problems then before.

If you decide to go off them you must be supervised especially with a history of emotional distress. You may need to be admitted to the hospital while you wean off the drugs in a controlled setting.

I understand that you maybe feeling out of control and isolated but what you are considering has major repercussions that aren't understood. At the very least you have shut down the natural hormone production and need to take Hcg to restart your testicles or you will find yourself without any hormonal production and very ill. Your body won't start up just because you don't take the drugs.

Stopping HRT is a very personal thing, if you are considering this please speak to your endo and treat the decision with the same seriousness as when you started HRT. You can do whatever feels right in terms of your gender identity and process of transition but do it properly so you don't hurt yourself.

->-bleeped-<-boy

You need to talk to medical professionals, they are very powerful drugs, they do have a huge effect on emotions.  Do not listen to your neighbor (though she might have a point) or to people who have read everything they could find (that agreed with what they were thinking to begin with) and go with those you trusted in the first place.  Please.

Hmm,

Another friend has said that HRT is not working for me and I should stop it and I can see her point. The further along a go the worse I am getting. Yesterday I was so suicial I thought I was going to end it all. I think of my time in hospital a lot as if I should go back there when I get one of my bad moods, my mood is just as bad as it was back then and they are happening closer together now.  I sometimes so wish I could quit my HRT and obviously I am different in that way to most of you. I have wished I could stop from the start so maybe it was never meant to be. Maybe I should go back to being TG/CD as I am sure what I am doing now is not working for me.

I obviously would not go cold turkey but gradualy reduce the does and yes I need I will talk to all my doctor before making a final decision on this.

Alice

Quote from: Alice on October 17, 2008, 04:49:10 AM
The further along a go the worse I am getting.

Ok, that, I believe, is a VERY IMPORTANT part. Now, to me testosterone vs estrogen is a VERY noticeable different ... feel of self. I flat out do not like what having uninhibited testosterone in my system feels like.

Now, I've had the er "fortune" of having some what sporadic HRT at times so I've had a really good this vs that comparison. I can honestly say HRT is the way to go for me. Given that, I'd say definitely chat with your Dr. and see about seeing what NO HRT is like so you can contrast. THAT said, chat with the Dr. SOONER rather than later. Being suicidal is NOT fun that is for certain and it is a very precarious situation. Best to endeavour to get out of that situation as fast as you can if that is at all possible. ^*HUG* Hang in there!

Hi Alice,
We all know you've struggled in the past and you are struggling pretty hard now. I don't think people are trying to slam your neighbor, but they are thinking "Is she a doctor?" Their heart and head are in the right place on that. They just want you to be better.

I think you need to follow your doctor's advice. Quitting HRT has other implications as well. How does that plan into your overall transition/life plan? Have you thought about and discussed larger issues like transition and your next year with your doctors and therapist? I think your plan for HRT will depend a lot on where you are going with transition and what your plan is.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way because it comes from a good place, I promise. I really think you would make a lot of progress if you could get the therapist to help you focus on the root cause of what's bothering you and making you down instead of the symptoms and the feelings themselves. You know that a lot of us give you advice but it's because it's hard to watch you talk about feeling the same way and we want to see you in a better place. Are you stressed and if so, why? What is causing the stress? I don't mean the actual feelings you are feeling, but the "why" behind them. Where are all of these feelings and emotions and instability coming from? I think if you can start to touch that, you'll be on the path to recovery pretty quickly.

Here's the thing about hospitals, particularly in-patient psych hospitals. They are designed for a purpose. They take a person experiencing major, major life trauma and remove them from their daily life basically, place them in an atmosphere that is insulating and therapeutic. You have no worries in there, people take care of your needs, you have food, clothing and shelter. There's no job stress. It's basically a break from reality to focus on what's making you ill. I was in that environment for three months when I was younger, trust me, I know how that feels. I think you really need to recognize that. It's a place where you might feel drawn to, especially right after being there. Think of it more as a place where you can gather your strength and get pointed in the right direction.

You've been so weak emotionally lately that you need to get yourself back to where you can function. You remember those days, it wasn't so long ago that you were there. I know the gender thing has been rough for you, but you can work through it. You are strong. Cyclists have a tenacity that is rare. If there was a way for you to take that tenacity and use it to recover, can you imagine? Wow, you'd be on the path to healing pretty quickly You are the same person you've always been Alice. Whether the clothing changes or the appearance changes, you are still you. You know we all support you and I hope you know that. We want to see you start to make progress, just like you do Stay strong, you can get through this, Meghan

A documentary I saw said the emotional roller coaster that natal women experience is really due to the monthly influx of testosterone that occurs during the period.  If you are taking estrogen regularly and not cycling it, I don't see why it would make you emotionally unstable.

Enough, I am sorry but I agree with you go to the hospital. Whether HRT is right or not is a different story, larger then that is the clear distress your feeling now. I am wondering what you think of the pellets for HRT for MTFs, if you are swinging and that is what is causing the mental health problems the pellets are the most stable dosing. You need to find the right dose for you and if it is causing the problem like you are describing you need more help then we can give you here but I am sure every agrees you are still wanted here.

Some people are not meant for HRT because it causes them more harm then good. I have also been told many times over the years HRT isn't working for me or I should stop etc... and while being well meaning they aren't the person who needs to decide and no matter how supportive don't know what they are talking about. Now 9 years, I have found part of the correct formulation for me and having great effects

Either way you are recognizing your warning signs and might need some more support. Trust yourself you got yourself here and can get yourself to where you need to go. Good luck.

->-bleeped-<-boy

Are you on Spiro? If you are, it's likely that it's what's causing the emotional roller coaster. I was on it briefly a long time ago, and it literally made me suicidal. I had been on hormones for years and they never made me feel that way--quite the opposite, when I forget to refill my script until I run out I'm usually in a super-bitchy mood until I start taking them again. When I first started taking hormones I felt much better emotionally actually. Also, I'm post-op so when I don't take my 'mones I get hot flashes like CRAZY! You do not want to ever get these!!

Spiro BTW doesn't work for everyone. I would never touch this stuff again on my life. It just gave me adrenal fatigue and suicidal thoughts. It's definitely not for everyone. I'd talk to your doctor about alternative anti-androgens, but if you're transitioning there's no good reason to go off estrogen.

Sresha,

We originaly thought it was spiro so we cut it out, that was a few months ago now. I wish that was the problem, we would have this problem already solved.

Alice

Alice perhaps I can make a few suggestions... Are you treating the thyroid or checked it beyond TSH i.e. RT3, Free T3 and T4; hormones, free and total testosterone, DHT, estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, aldosterone, ATCH? What about your electrolytes? Are you dehydrated? Time dependent symptoms? How is your cortisol dose? Do you use florinef or the like? How long since the last episode of fatigue?

So many tests and questions. Why didn't you respond to my post? Oh yeah and if you are supplementing better be on armour, cortisol and possibly florinef. Sounds like estrogen is the least of your hormonal issues. However unstable levels of estrogens are what cause most estrogen related mood disorders. You really should consider the pellets because they are the most stable dosing method, period. Of course if it isn't estrogen related then you must look at your pituitary, thyroid, adrenals and mental health issues. Best of luck and you can PM me but I was a little loopy as of late (too much hydromorphone) so I might sound weird or periodically go on tangents. I really need sleep.

->-bleeped-<-boy

Alice, did you start taking Spiro along with estrogen right off the bat? Or did you start with estrogen only at first? If the latter, see if you remember having the same problems then.

When I went off Spiro, things didn't just automatically go back to normal. I had to take some natural supplements to mitigate the damaging effects it had on my adrenals. The products that worked best for me were B-complex vitamins, cholerella, ginkgo biloba, fish oil, and adrenal glandular. Also, for emotional well-being I found 5-HTP to work pretty well. You don't have to take all of these separately, you can find a good brand multivitamin supplement that has at least the first three ingredients. They will certainly give you a lot of energy, and you don't have to take them everyday, just when the need arises. If you're on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications you cannot take ginkgo or 5-HTP though.

IDK

HUGS, alice...

Quote from: ->-bleeped-<-boy link=topic=44795.msg293367#msg293367 date=1224311240
Alice perhaps I can make a few suggestions... Are you treating the thyroid or checked it beyond TSH i.e. RT3, Free T3 and T4; hormones, free and total testosterone, DHT, estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, aldosterone, ATCH? What about your electrolytes? Are you dehydrated? Time dependent symptoms? How is your cortisol dose? Do you use florinef or the like? How long since the last episode of fatigue?

So many tests and questions. Why didn't you respond to my post?
->-bleeped-<-boy

->-bleeped-<-boy,

I have not had time to think about a response to your post. Sresha's post was easy to respond to as it was history which I could recite. The questions you have just posted will also take some consideration, I am not sure if I know what they all mean at this stage.

Quote from: sresha on October 18, 2008, 12:59:47 PM
Alice, did you start taking Spiro along with estrogen right off the bat? Or did you start with estrogen only at first? If the latter, see if you remember having the same problems then.

Sresha,

I started taking estrogen first then spiro after 2 months. That why we thought  it was the spiro that was causing my problems.

Alice

Quote from: Alice on October 02, 2008, 05:08:32 PM
My neigbour last night said females are emotional creatures and my current problems is due to the HRT. So I was wondering if I should drop the HRT as it is not working for me. Will I just go back to a life of depression?

Why not reduce the dosage? Some people have adverse reactions to higher hrt dosages and need to find the balance where the adverse reactions are minimized or eliminated and the positive effects still, albeit slower, work. Above all else your health and fitness are more important than a transistion, and if the transistion takes longer, so be it, you're still healthy and fit and can enjoy life easier. Quitting cold turkey only starts the body and mind back to where it was initially minus the permanent changes from hrt to date. You've already been there, so is that a place you want to be now or in the future? And if you're there, would you want to still transistion?

Just some thoughts. Good luck.