Is it really possible to have "friends" online? Is it really possilbe to consider people one has only encountered online to be real friends?

For all I know, the members of Susans or any other message board are no more than personsas created for the online world. To be fair, the same could be said of me. I'm using a pseudonym and my avatar is some strange run. Anyone else here could just as eaily ask, "Is the persona presented by the user Shades O'Grey really representative of the person who created that member profile?

Thoughts, anyone?

I met my girlfriend online. I consider her the best friend I have in the world.  She means more to me than anyone.

I guess I should have been a little more specific.

Are people that one interacts with ONLY online, can they be considered friends? I know that it's possible to meet someone online and then that leads to a meeting in real life. But if one only interacts with certain people online, are those certain people really friends (or enemies, for that matter).

Everything depends on what they write. 
Personally, I couldn't care less who they are, just as long as I have a good conversation with them. 

Shades, me and her have only met online.  She's in England and I'm in the US.  We were friends before we ever talked on the phone, and even now, most of our communication is still online, even though we talk on the phone more often than we used to.  We have not met in person yet.

I say, why not?  Words are the same whether they're spoken or written.  Feelings are the same, too.  Sure it's easier to lie and pretend to be something else when you're online, but then, that doesn't mean everybody does that.  And if two people are being their genuine selves, and genuinely like each other.. that, I say, is a friendship, whether they actually meet face to face or not.

There's still a lot of people I only interact with online who I consider to be better friends than many people I only interact with 'in real life.'  But I don't like that term either, as the internet is still 'real life,' it's just words instead of sounds.

[And I've definitely made a few enemies online, too.  The emotions involved are certainly the same.]

IMO online friends are every bit as valid as friends in real life.  If you share experiences and ideas, can comfort each other, and actually just like each other, it will work.  Friends don't need to have physical attributes that turn you on, maybe mentally lol, but it will survive after meeting because you share the common bond of friendship, which doesn't rely on sexual attraction.
I have a different opinion to online romances, because it is more reliant on physical chemistry, which you can only establish after you meet in real life, many don't make it past the first meeting.  But there are always exceptions, and it is still worthwhile to give it a go and not rule it out as a means to find a partner.
The expectations though are a lot higher, but if it works out in real life after having consistent contact online, it will probably be one of the strongest bonds ever.

Jörgen, TamTam, Buttercup, you've all pretty much said things I've thought were possible. I've had folks tell me that online friends could never be true friends, because of the limits of the electronic communication medium. I guess, really, it depends on all parties involved.

Online persons can offer a world of advice, but they can't go bowling with you.  When you want to go out and have a good time in real life, they ain't there.  Huge difference.

Friends of any kind (online or off) are people whom you have things in common with, identify with in some way, share values, ideas, thoughts, support each other and actually like.  You can do all those things either online or off.  As for the internet/ real life argument how is the internet not real?  Does it not exist?  Is it not an activity you are actually doing?  Of course it is, however there are people who spend all their time on the internet and not experiencing any thing else which I do feel is unhealthy. 

And as Tekla said very wisely, everyone needs someone to go bowling with from time to time.....

Quote from: tekla on October 19, 2008, 10:51:26 PM
Online persons can offer a world of advice, but they can't go bowling with you.  When you want to go out and have a good time in real life, they ain't there.  Huge difference.

Exactly what I wanted to say. Plus they generally live miles and miles away.. which sucks. I have had a few online relationships and they didn't work. Even if I did go and see them too.

I have been on-line for the last ten years and I have been in many chat-rooms, message boards, and forums. I met many wonderful people, intelligent people, wise people, analytical people, loving, caring, compassionate, supportive, empathic people, and yet you will also find among these, deceivers, liars, wannabes, fakes, aggressors, combative individuals, abusers, sexists, and predators, just the same as you will find in the real world. 

I got to know some whom I came to grow close to, just as much as any other person I ever had as a friend. One can come to know an on-line person very well just by reading the individuals inner feelings and personality through that person's typed words. But the greatest setback you will encounter with online friends I have found was that after a time they moved on and I never saw them again. That has at times left me feeling quite sad and lonely for them, just as sad as losing any real personal friend in the real world.

I beleive that is the greatest set back with having online friends. But I have accustomed myself to that eventuality so that when I have an on-line friend who decides to move on my mourning for that individual is not as long in duration.

However, it doesn't make that person typing those words you are reading any less real than anyone else   you know personally. They to are real flesh and blood human beings, complete with the capability of thoughts, emotions and feelings, feeling distraught, confused, enlightened, excited, etc., just the same as we do. Use your own discretion as to who you wish to have as a friend and also have respect for your fellow users as true persons in reality.

Cindy 

Quote from: tekla
Online persons can offer a world of advice, but they can't go bowling with you.  When you want to go out and have a good time in real life, they ain't there.  Huge difference.

This is an excellent point. But, I'm quite the introvert. Going out is something I usually do solo. That I'm even considering going out cross-dressed has totally amazed my wife. Usually, if my going-out companion isn't her, it's my bike.

Quote from: milliontoone
As for the internet/ real life argument how is the internet not real?  Does it not exist?

I could be wrong, but the anonymity of the web makes it easier for folks to build a fictious persona without being discovered. It's not possible to read body language in a text-based media such as message boards and chat rooms. I guess, that's what I was getting at.

Quote from: cindybc
I met many wonderful people, intelligent people, wise people, analytical people, loving, caring, compassionate, supportive, empathic people, and yet you will also find among these, deceivers, liars, wannabes, fakes, aggressors, combative individuals, abusers, sexists, and predators, just the same as you will find in the real world.

But, I guess this pretty much somes it up. There's all kinds out there, online and off.

I consider few people I speak to online friends. Ones I've talked with on the phone (or texted) or exchanged snail mail with, they are friends. Others don't count, and I don't feel bad about blocking them or signing off while talking to them or anything.

I've become close friends with a few people who I met online, some of whom I eventually ended up meeting in person. Yes, people can invent fictions, both on or off line, however if you read between the lines, you can usually figure if someone has an agenda.

Zythyra

For someone like me, I consider some of my 'only online' friends better friends than the vast majority of 'real life' friends I've ever had.

My experience with most real time friends is very superficial. As long as I had money and dope, they camped on my doorstep, but any genuine caring for me was far beyond them.

Maybe I am extremely naive but I consider every member on this site my friend, no matter how few words we've personally exchanged.

This site has given me something I have always coveted - real friendships with females. That means the world to me.

Yes, my online friends are real. I hope they consider me real as well.

So, I'm not nuts if an online friend posts something hurtfull and I feel hurt by it. Right?

 I wish it was true for me. I have had online friends and they just seem to fade away, stop writing me back ect. Now I have a hard time letting anyone be more than an aquantance. I don`t trust online people anymore, but I want to. I wish I had some online friends i could talk to about nothing but life, kids and whatever. I`m stuck in the mid west at home all day and I have tried. I always seem to send the last message.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on October 20, 2008, 01:25:28 PM
So, I'm not nuts if an online friend posts something hurtfull and I feel hurt by it. Right?

of course not. i'm ashamed to have done just that (which primary purpose was to bait and challenge a loved one. also something i'm not proud of but in the process i baited far more people than said loved one and ended up offending all involved to boot) and hope i am the only one who has made you feel this way lately. 

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on October 20, 2008, 01:25:28 PM
So, I'm not nuts if an online friend posts something hurtfull and I feel hurt by it. Right?

No your not Shades. Not at all.

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on October 19, 2008, 04:17:34 PM
Is it really possible to have "friends" online? Is it really possilbe to consider people one has only encountered online to be real friends?

For all I know, the members of Susans or any other message board are no more than personsas created for the online world. To be fair, the same could be said of me. I'm using a pseudonym and my avatar is some strange run. Anyone else here could just as eaily ask, "Is the persona presented by the user Shades O'Grey really representative of the person who created that member profile?

Thoughts, anyone?

I met my best friend of 8 years online. We live in two separate states (about 900 miles distance) and spend most of our time interacting with each other online as a result. But we know each other inside and out, and we are as I said the best of friends.

She came to visit me this summer, and we met for the first time. She spent an entire week at my house, then left for home again. We are still the best of friends and still enjoy each others company regardless of whether or not we're chatting online or in real life. She's always there for me when I need her and I hope she thinks the same of me.

Yes it's possible