Though, I am new here, I still know what she is going through.  My wife is worried that some day I will come to here and say I want to be a woman.  I am going to try to never get that point.  I love my wife and child so much.  I would not want to loose them.  but having these feelings does make it a struggle.  My feeling is that I would be less apt seeking SRS if I could at least dress and go out as a woman occasionally.  My wife wants  me to bottle it up inside.  She says is isn't necessary, that it is a choice to put on that dress etc.  Any just expressing my thoughts.

Bryanne

QuoteMy wife is worried that some day I will come to here and say I want to be a woman.  I am going to try to never get that point.  I love my wife and child so much.  I would not want to loose them.  but having these feelings does make it a struggle.

You sound like Kate.

QuoteMy wife wants  me to bottle it up inside.  She says is isn't necessary, that it is a choice to put on that dress etc.

Putting on a dress is a choice, but how you feel inside isn't.  Bottling it up is unhealthy.

Melissa

Hi Bryanne,
These ways a have rough time. I hated seeing the pain I cause my wife. So I tried to shut down the female inside to please her. But it just made me mad / sad and I really wanted to die. I could do it. But I did cut back on the amount of dressing I did around my wife.
At this point there seems to be some peace in or relationship and she is slowly accepting me, but only that I am different than I used to be, more feminine, but not as a woman.
:'(I share your pain and confussion. I feel for you Bryanne.

Jillieann

Melissa put it just right.

Quote from: Melissa on June 20, 2006, 11:41:55 PM
Putting on a dress is a choice, but how you feel inside isn't.  Bottling it up is unhealthy.

Remember that how your wife feels is also not her choice.  But demanding that you not express your feminine feelings is a choice.  You might want to find a good marriage counselor to help the two of you work through your feelings.  It could also take a matter of time.  When I first told my wife about my crossdressing she did not want to see me dressed en femme at all and was very uncomfortable even seeing my skirts and lingerie.  After a few months this changed; she is now comfortable seeing me in a dress and has bought me clothing and jewelry for birthday and Christmas gifts.  I think what helped her was realizing that I was the same person that loved her and that she loved, whether I was dressed in pants or a skirt.  We have both had to make compromises, but as long as you love one another you can work it out.

Quote from: Bryanne on June 20, 2006, 11:38:50 PMMy wife is worried that some day I will come to here and say I want to be a woman. I am going to try to never get that point.

Everyone is different of course (uh huh, not so sure I really believe that anymore), but there really only seem to be delaying tactics.

QuoteMy feeling is that I would be less apt seeking SRS if I could at least dress and go out as a woman occasionally.

Yup, I tried that. I figured perhaps if I could "express" myself a bit, it'd ease the tension. And hey, it probably DOES work for many people.

The thing is, for me it's more about being FEMALE than being FEMININE. And no amount of dressing up or going out "enfemme" would fix that; in fact, it made it *worse*, as it seemed was like a cruel tease of what could be.

Still, everyone is different (still not fallin' for it), so the alternative options do need to be discovered and explored (ya know, I'm not even believing my own words anymore - this is scary).