A Change Is Gonna Come: But The Work Has Barely Begun
Posted November 6, 2008

http://radnichole.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/a-change-is-gonna-come-but-the-work-has-barely-begun/

Yesterday I held this essay. I didn't even attempt to write it. Instead, in person and on the phone and in emails and private messages, I tried to comfort friends who were devastated by the election results in their own and other states when it came to the results from anti-marriage referenda in California, Florida, Arizona, and, perhaps the most benighted one of all, the ballot-measure passed in Arkansas that serves to deprive state-controlled children from foster-care if the foster or adoptive parents are an unmarried or "gay" couple.

Ya know, it's one thing to tell me that Catherine and I aren't going to be allowed to marry one another and have that marriage recognized by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; but, it's a very mean-spirited tactic to have a ballot-proposition that refuses to place children in a home simply because that home might have lesbians, gay men or bi-sexual adults living in it. Or that those same children cannot even be adopted by an unmarried two-parent household.

The lesson of the Obama campaign for the LTBG is the battle is won on the ground, not in the media.

True that.  Its the lesson of all Civil Rights campaigns in the US also.  The Montgomery Bus Boycott didn't work because of a bunch of letters to the editor, or some tv show or movie.  It worked because they walked.

They walked for a year.

And, to some degree the LGBT movement is 15 years younger than the Black Civil Rights movement, and it is gaining ground.  Not that its perfect, or done.  I don't even think that the Black Civil Rights Movement is done, but I do think we can see a light at the end of that tunnel.

It's not just because we have a black president per se.  But its going to be the effect of his picture being up in every class for the next 8 years that is going to produce a generation with very different ideals.  That he is president is going to make overt racism much less popular.  But its also going to be the pictures of the girls playing with the new dog on the front lawn of the White House.  Of the girls doing the Easter Egg Hunt.  Wow, how long has it been since the occupant of 1600 had kids that were young enough to do that? 

Those images - and they are going to get uber coverage, like JFK, and its not like the President is exactly undercovered by the American Media as it is - are going to be so burned into people's minds that it will change them.

And there is a feeling, of a 'new day/dawn, a feeling of 'this is our time' that really does bring in that New Era deal.  New Eras happen because people begin by believing that they are happening.  When something that no one ever really saw as being possible really happens, it causes people to rethink other things that might have been labeled 'impossible' also.  History seems to move in waves like that.  I'm sure, that beginning in the next election, all sort of people of color, and women, and white folks too - because this is so inspiring to everyone across the board, his victory was not just a 'black' thing, it was a victory for all of us, of all races, that have worked in our lives to make this a reality -  are going to think, "gee, I never thought about doing civic service, I never thought about running for office, but maybe I should." 

And I think its going to make it OK to be a liberal again.  America has been on a steady drift that way, its just that the conservatives spike up and down.  So I think a more Progressive Drift is on (even though Obama is NOT a Progressive) and in time the LGBT thing will be more and more acceptable, or at the very least, people will care a whole lot less about it.

But I think the real agent of change here is going to be Michelle.  She is going to be one of the most powerful first ladies ever.  She is forceful, she has the same credentials as everyone else (Princeton, Harvard Law) and I think that were Hillary rubbed many people the wrong way, doing exactly the same thing, Michelle has going for her a notion, a stereotype (and not all stereotypes are bad) that African-American women are strong, forceful, and determined.  And that's going to work for her, in the same way that the negative stereotype that Hillary ran into hurt her.

But Michelle?  Look out, she is going to be a force of nature.

Its the lesson of all Civil Rights campaigns in the US also.

Most assuredly. Why?

Because it's much easier to hate and distrust and loathe those you aren't able or willing to place a face and a life with.

That, imo, is why within my own women-with-TS-history group there's so damned much fear and loathing and being convinced that "cross-dressers, transgenders, drag-queens and genderqueers and androgynes are not like me! They are gonna make people think less of me or ruin all of our rights. Or they are just men!"

What absurdist BS is that? So what if they are men? How many former TSes live, work, love or desire love with M-E-N? Even more ridiculous, imo, are those who have relationships with women, particularly those of us who have marriages with our wives!! How many of us truly believe, down there where we do our thinking not our prejudices, that people will accept us but look down on us because we meet and interact with CDs, GQs, DQs, etc? I mean is this a ridiculous argument being made simply out of unbased fear and a desire to hold oneself on some "different plane?"

My answer to that is "yes, it is."

We believe the most ignorant things when we are ignorant and wish to remain that way.

Does ichor flow through the arteries and veins of CDs and GQs, etc? I rather doubt that. No more than it flows through the blood vessels of current and former TSes.

But, if we cannot get-it-togther about people who share many aspects of our lives with us how do we expect others to get-it-together about those of us who seem far-distant and remote, if not totally mythical, from their lives?

For the LTBG "we have met the enemy and he is us."

Nichole

O, the bit about Michelle being a "force of nature." Well, I sure as heck hope so. It's about time a woman was seen that way rather than as a timid adjunct to her husband or an "evil bitch" if she is "a force of nature!"

True, the lack of unity makes it much easier to ignore. 

Clinton made a huge mistake to push Gays and military in the beginning of his term. If I was Obama in the last two weeks of the eight year push Gay marriage through. It is gong to take time, lots of time to penetrate the religious vault. Compared to other issues this is a small matter to a minority. As for those states, a popular vote is not going to happen. The courts are going to be a better avenue.

In the private sector only experience will change people's minds. There are too many trans people exhibiting poor morals and public behavior as to the disadvantage of the rest of us who are not demanding the acceptance of ludicrous behavior. Both in the work force and in local neighborhoods people accept and befriend those that are helpful and trustworthy. Those are the things that will gain acceptance not bulling through special privilege laws.

I have a very straight friend from HS that keeps in touch. He has known my history and has no problem with it. Yesterday he told me about a person he was doing business with that at first did not disclose her transition. After they got to know each other she told him. To her surprise he told her about me and he knew of the problems we had to over come.

I'm glad your's and your friend's experiences bear out what I blogged about, Lisa. Thanks for the experiential support.

Nichole