I didn't feel I needed FFS, the fates having been (to some degree) kind. However, I did research it, and everyone I ever heard speak about it, before I transitioned, said they woke up feeling as if they'd been hit by a truck and they wanted to die.

As for BA, it wasn't nearly so bad for me as you have described. For a short while, I couldn't lift stuff or rake the leaves or that, but it really was no big deal. My complaint is that I never regained feeling in the lower half of my breasts. All I can feel there is pain, wouldn't ya know, like if my dog sticks his paw in my boob.

The biggest surprise to me was finding out that I would cycle. Obviously, I don't bleed, but I absolutely have the bitchy/weepy thing every 4 weeks.

Another surprise was that my sense of smell noticeably improved.

Everybody is so different, sometimes pain can be down to tollerance and expectations, before I had my FFS nearly everybody told me it was going to be painful, but it turned out I looked worse than how I felt, I did look as if I'd just been run over by a train, the bandages bruising and swelling, had a lot of numbness and discolouring but got a very feminine face afterwards, my BA wasn't too bad, more soreness than actual pain, I was happy with the results.
But SRS was different, I was in no hurry at the time but my Mother was anxious that I have SRS to complete my transition, more or less told me it would be a breeze, it was anything but, I surpose I didn't expect it to be so painful, well it was for me, I remember coming round after the surgery, feeling the pressure, and the pain I thought I was going to die, then some days later having the packing removed, it looked awful, about 3months later I had a labia plastic done under a local, lots of stiches afterwards, that wasn't too bad, finally my vulva looked normal.
Its not an easy journey, I wish there was another way, but at least now Im complete, a complete WOMAN.
P 

Quote from: Julie Marie on November 09, 2008, 10:38:19 AM
I often times wonder if the women I know are in denial a bit themselves when describing their experiences.  They described their experiences much like men do, statements like, "It wasn't bad" or "I was a little uncomfortable."

Oh for sure I'm in denial, but about how GOOD things really are, not how bad. As my wife keeps reminding me, I have this penchant for melodrama (no, seriously I do!), so it's when things are going great that I can actually afford to take the time to brood and pout, lol.

But honest, for me SRS just wasn't a big deal. Of for sure it was messy and icky and time-consuming, and the sutures and catheter ached a bit, and I was sore for a long time. But it wasn't anything bad at all, and that's *without* taking any painkillers (although I took them once home, as it just gets annoying being sore 24/7 for days on end). I actually had a great time in Montreal, and was walking around the block and park next door a few days after surgery. Removing the stent was the only nasty pain, but it was over within about 3 seconds, and was more frightening than anything as I was afraid something was gonna be damaged.

BA hurt more than SRS, but only for the first few hours of the first few days. And even that was just kinda like sore muscles the day after a workout. Just really sore until the muscles loosed up for the day, not OMG! painful.

And transitioning itself? It's been a fairytale. Hallmark couldn't have written me a better experience. Work was cool with me, neighbors and relatives were all "hey, whatever makes ya happy..." about it. People I've needed to out myself to have been nothing but kind to me.

I kinda feel bad posting all this, as I don't wanna sound like I'm gloating. But I also want lurkers to know it CAN work out really well too. I'm not denying or sugar-coating it. If anything, my gazillion melodramatic posts here make it sound *worse* than it really was. Strip away all my fears and emotions and OMG WHAT IF? worries, and transitioning for me was actually uneventful in Real Life, practical terms.

Kate

Julie, I think I have responded to your question before you had surgery. I didn't have FFS or BA. I have only had GRS. It was just uncomfortable to me. I do have a high tolerance to pain due to things that have happened to me as a child. I do know that everyone is different and that pain scale that they talk about is really an individual account of your pain.

Im preop so I still have alot of pain to look forward to all the surguries + electrolysis but im not unfamilar with pain i was in a severe car wreck and had 3 broken lims my right heel was crushed into 4 pieces they said it looked like someone had hit it with a hammer as hard as they could. Due to my bodies resistance to narcotics ill not get any post surgeory pain relief either, but whoever said you get over physical pain faster than emotional is right i rember it hurt like hell (my accident was back in feb 8 2007) but can't remember the actual pain just that it did hurt. Beside people have varying pain tolerances I also find personaly that pain is relative to type and area ie certain parts of the body are more sensitive for some than that area is for others my weak spot personaly is my ears and type in that there is differneces in say bone pain versus intestinal pain they both hurt alot but it is a differnet kind of hurt from the other.

Quote from: Julie Marie on November 08, 2008, 04:46:54 PM
Since going full time I've experienced so much I never heard from other trans women...

My experience has not been so rosy.  While I will say I am happier with myself I need to also add the rest of the people in my life aren't so happy with me.

Compared to the accounts of others, surgery was brutal for me...I experienced pain way beyond the limits of my tolerance. 

My GF & I have had similar experiences and we've had many a conversation wondering why neither of us ever heard from others anything like what we experienced.  Were we alone in our pain and suffering or did the other girls we know prefer not to talk about it?  Or was it something else all together?

For me, losing a job I loved was the worst.  I was not prepared for that!


Julie

You and your GF are certainly not the only ones who have had a bad time.  I think that maybe there are lots and lots of us you don't see on the forums, simply because they are so desperately in survival mode, they don't have the time for forums.  Or maybe they can't afford computer OR internet access.

My experience has not been so rosy either, Julie.  I KNOW what it is like to have that kind of pain. 
The pain part of it.....well, I have had genital surgery in the past, and I was in severe pain, like pain I couldn't deal with.  Well, I'm here now, so it didn't kill me.  This year I'll have additional genital surgery, going into it knowing that it will be as painful.  Why?  Well.....because I have to.  I'm driven by my GID.  Even if the pain is as bad, I will do it.

I know what it's like to lose almost all my friends, because they cannot "deal with it".  Over time, though, I've made new friends, who like me for who I am. 
The biggest 'rosy' part of my experience has been with my family.  I managed not to lose the love or connection to any of them, and my marriage is better than ever.  Okay....enough of the 'rosy' part.

I know what it's like to be discriminated against because of my 3rd class citizenship......a transitioned mtf.  Yes, I lost my job because of it, even though I work for a company with a zero tolerance diversity policy, like you!  I have a bigot for a GM, and he didn't care about 'policy'.  Did you pursue legal action?  I did.  I really can't discuss it here on the forums, because I believe some of my coworkers read my posts here from time to time.  I will say that I got my job back, with back pay, and no interruption in my tenure there.  My coworkers cheered my coming back, because I was not the only person to be discriminated against.  I don't believe it, but I've have a number of people tell me that I'm somewhat bullet-proof now. Yeah....I don't believe that for a minute.

Anyway, the pain goes away, after a long enough time. 
You had the courage to transition, so I'm sure you have the courage to stand up for yourself, and not let people treat you like sh#t.  You and I are about the same age.  I'm 58 (today, actually!), and I am digging in for the long haul at my workplace.  I know how hard it will be to find something at my age, especially where there are discrepancies in my gender markers between MVA, IRS, health insurance, etc.

If you want to share stories about losing a job, or getting one back, let me know.  I'll email my phone number, and I can talk without a written public record.


Bev