Maybe it's because I'm on sugar overload thanks to Halloween.  Maybe it's lack of protein.  I haven't been eating well.  Or maybe...

It's that creepy woman at work. (see prev. post  Why?)  I had to work with her again last night.  They put her on an earlier shift and had a manager present.  Apparently she was spoken to again about the touching thing.  But...

I can't explain how you know someone is over the line into your personal space without being invited -- you just know it.  So I'm at the front desk and she's behind the person I'm talking to.  And then the questions.  How's the dogs?  How's the kids?  Hows X-town (where I live)?  How was your week?  Did your daughter ride (horses)?  All with a creepy smile and she was fu**ing WINKING AT ME!!!!!

Seriously I tried to ignore her and avoid her but she went out of her way to find me to talk to me and made a point of saying goodbye at the end of her shift.  It was a hugely busy night and I was inundated with computer entry stuff from our recent computer upgrade which was also stressful.

Anyway, I have to work with her tonight.  It's the late shift.  There will be no manager.  The person who is 'in charge' on the late shift is out tonight for a huge party she's throwing.

Last night even after she left I felt very stressed.  I was short and abrupt with people instead of my usual calm.  I came home to sleep today and got like 4 hours before the dogs woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep.

I just have to confront this person and be done with it.  But there is this underlying fear (yes, she creeps me out that much!) that she has access to my personal info in the computer ie address and phone #.

Another part of my stress is that I am getting impatient for management to make the formal announcement about coming out.  The 'she's' are really getting to me.  That and someone decided that 'Initial LastName' didnt' work for me in the computer and changed it to 'FemaleName LastName' assuming management made a mistake.  When they did NOT.  Management purposely put in my initial awaiting the formal announcement.  So all of the paperwork I generated last night had my female name emblazoned across it.

Unfortunately I won't even be able to read any responses to this as I'm heading to work in 10 minutes.  I absolutely hate feeling stressed.  And part of me knows that the stress from last weekend is what drove me to the crappy candy my kids and I had around the house all week.

Jay

hi jay.  one wants to laugh at this rediculous person.  she seems like a walking, talking joke.  but, this is serious to you so it takes all the fun out of it.

maybe it is time for something in writing to happen.  a formal complaint might do it....she sounds nutty enough to ignore even that, but it's a step in the right direction.  as far as her having access to your private information...well, that horse has left the barn.  she has it and you can't take it back.  letting it go will just make it worse and she will still have your private information.  this is affecting your work and it has to stop.  management must be made to take heed.  you might even let her know..<in private> that you'd really hate to publicly embarrass her but if she doesn't stop this nonsense then you just might do it anyway......just a thought.  God bless.

Wow man this is a SERIOUS issue. I agree with Penny, you should probably file a formal complaint, and STRESS that this woman is affecting your work in a negative way (maybe that will give them incentive to do something about it.) I hope things get resolved bro. I'm not experienced enough in the work place to know what to do in this situation just yet, so I hope that the formal complaint will work. Sorry I can't help more.

I sorry to read that you are being harrassed. It is very stressful, especially because it is happening at work and you can't feel save and comfortable there anymore.

It's good that you have complained about her behaviour with management, though it is often the case that complaints about sexual intimidation done by women is not taken as seriously as when it had been done by a man.

And while it is good that there was someone else present last night, things can be done and said in a "normal" manner while there is a whole lot of innuendo underneath it all. It sounds like that was happening last night.

I'm not sure what you can do to stop it, except those things you are already doing. Stay confident, and protect your boundaries. That's about the only advice I can give you.


Take care of yourself,
Vincent

SHE'S GONE!!!  FIRED!!!  I am soooo happy!!!!  And it had nothing to do with me specifically.  Basically they hired her to work certain shifts but she could not work when they needed her to in order to even train her.  I kept waiting for her to show up last night and she didn't, and I was instantly relieved.  The manager told me this morning she was fired. 

I was prepared to do the BACK OFF!!! thing but I'm just glad she's gone.

It is weird, though, that as a man I have these issues, but living as a woman for 40+ years I never ever had anyone even look twice at me.  Guess I sent the 'leave me alone' vibe.  I didn't encourage either of these people and was just workplace friendly like I am to my other coworkers.

Jay, who can now go sleep in peace!!

Dude!!! I was so happy for you when I read this

I'm glad things worked themselves out ^_^

Jay, when I read your first post.. I thought seriously?? How could that woman honestly still even be there!

QuoteSHE'S GONE!!!  FIRED!!!  I am soooo happy!!!!  And it had nothing to do with me specifically.  Basically they hired her to work certain shifts but she could not work when they needed her to in order to even train her.  I kept waiting for her to show up last night and she didn't, and I was instantly relieved.  The manager told me this morning she was fired.

I'm happy she is gone now. And you can go to work without the worry of getting harassed! Until they replace! Dun Dun Durrrrrr!

That is great news, Jay.
And if she happens to walk in to your place of employment, You can tell her to leae.  And if she won't, call the ploce to have her removed.  But I don't thin that she will come.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to get lucky...I'm glad.

I'm very glad to read this, Jay. I hope you have a good nights sleep and a wonderful day/night at work.

I am late but I want to give some tips for this kind of thing in the future and say great news about not having to deal with her anymore.

Innuendo and he said/ she said is always hard to prove. Whenever you find your self with someone like this a good choice in Canada and other single party consent areas is audio recorders. Also good with new or poorly behaved professionals. For instance my landlord was giving the whole building grief and brought in a new super to intimidate tenants. I kept my recorder handy while dealing with management and the super. When the super threatened to kill me and my service dog. I said alright, I am going to call the police. When a little while later during a false fire alarm, the super had to bring people upstairs on the elevator manually, my turn came. He stood behind me and said "don't worry, I won't kill you on the elevator". I just went to the fire fighter/ police officer and I played the tape and he lost. Each time I asked the authority I played the tape for to say "other people heard you say it" to protect my ability to record. When I finally brought my landlord to court I was able to show exactly what happened and they lost.

Always have witnesses around. Never deal with them alone. If they claim the recordings are inaccurate, you need a supportive witness.

Don't move the recordings from the device. If you must i.e. space do so in the presence of a lawyer or other appropriate person. Make several original copies and have each party sign the copies.

They are admissible as memory aids, rebuttal and convince not testimony.

Use very clear simple language. For example don't say please, it suggests a request. If I some touches me and I want them to stop I say "take your "x" off my "y". When a security guard or store clerk tries to leave my sight with my or my dog's IDs, it is a simple, "I don't want you to take my IDs anywhere." in a polite and even tone. Verbally describe the persons behavior i.e why are you winking at me, makes it clear what is happening on the tape.

Anyways I am glad this has turned out to be a non-issue for you Jay. Oh I am not suggesting you walk around recording everything all the time but it is easy to press a button in your pocket if you practice.

->-bleeped-<-boy

Quote from: sneakersjay on November 02, 2008, 07:14:07 AM
SHE'S GONE!!!  FIRED!!!  I am soooo happy!!!!  And it had nothing to do with me specifically.  Basically they hired her to work certain shifts but she could not work when they needed her to in order to even train her.  I kept waiting for her to show up last night and she didn't, and I was instantly relieved.  The manager told me this morning she was fired. 

I was prepared to do the BACK OFF!!! thing but I'm just glad she's gone.

It is weird, though, that as a man I have these issues, but living as a woman for 40+ years I never ever had anyone even look twice at me.  Guess I sent the 'leave me alone' vibe.  I didn't encourage either of these people and was just workplace friendly like I am to my other coworkers.

Jay, who can now go sleep in peace!!