If a man is good hearted, honest, loving, caring, and healthy with his emotions. Especially if he shares interests like playing games, collecting dolls and antique soldiers and watching old movies, Enjoyed my cooking, and maintained decent personal hygiene; then I wouldn't care if he were the other side of a hundred!
But, as a fat person, I've dealt with chubby ->-bleeped-<-s all too often. Especially when I was in my 20's and dating. I resented not being a "person" but a sex object. I didn't like that my outside was all that mattered, and when an evening was over I felt empty and lonely, and unhappy. the payoff for me was that for a few minutes I felt attractive and lovable, but that part goes away quick.
The reality is that when you're in a healthy place mentally - that is, when you care enough about yourself to hold up healthy boundaries, the these kind of vultures aren't interested, they realize you won't play their game, or that you aren't on their emotional level. They leave you alone. And then, you're free to explore relationships with a whole better/healthier/saner class of people who appreciate you, but don't objectify you.
At least, that's what I've learned, your milage may vary.
((((Gracie))))
-Brianne
