What Thomas Beatie Doesn't Understand
Filed by: Nancy Polikoff
November 20, 2008 11:00 AM

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/11/what_thomas_beatie_doesnt_understand.php

I watched Thomas and Nancy Beatie on Barbara Walters last week. They described their struggle with the state of Oregon over how they would be identified on their child's birth certificate. They want Thomas listed as the father and Nancy listed as the mother. The hospital insisted that Thomas be listed as the mother, but eventually the state issued a birth certificate with Thomas and Nancy listed as "parent" and "parent."

They are still fighting to get Thomas designated as the father. Give me a break! Parent and parent is the designation that should go on all birth certificates! What makes this an insult? Yes, if the state insisted on listing Thomas as the mother, that I would have a problem with. But a gender neutral term?

And then there's his complaint about the advice he received from some (unnamed) gay rights legal groups. They advised the couple that Nancy should adopt their child.

That was an excellently reasoned piece by Nancy Polikoff.

At some point the Beatties really do need to see the reality of what they are asking.

The "parent/parent" notion makes perfect sense as well, from a number of standpoints, not simply lesbian/gay/trans standpoints.

Holding out for the bakery when you've been given a loaf of bread does seem kinda silly to me.

I hope the Beattie's don't think the "support" of WaWa is going to tip a balance in their favor either. This couple should cover their @$$e$ now as they are able and then push for more if they wish. Not to do so just seems, well, ill-advised, or in this case ill-use of good advice.

Nichole

I agree with what one of the commenters said though. Nothing wrong with parent/parent, but when you're calling other children's parents mother and father, it is a bit insulting. If all birth certificates in Oregon read parent/parent, then fine. If not, then a person should be able to choose whether they want parent or father or mother as their designation.

Dennis

Leave it to an attorney to add a layer of legality to an idea! 

And a therapist to try to figure out the attorney! 

Nichole

I will say though, I don't get why the US is so damn fixed on the idea of heterosexuality. Here, if you get married, you have the choice of being spouse, husband, or wife. If you are the parent of a child, you have the choice of parent, mother, or father, and there's no problem with a child having mother/mother or father/father on a birth certificate.

If you people would just get over the idea that heterosexuals are the only ones who have families (and I'm not speaking to the converted here, I'm speaking to the US public that seems to think that), then there wouldn't be a problem with terminology.

Not getting it.

Dennis

Just my two cents worth if it is worth that much. I have had a birth certificate for 59 years. I haven't showed it that much to anyone and I think that really no one even looks at it. I was thinking of having mine changed but why? The only person I have showed it to for the last 39 years has been the post office clerk when I went to get my passport. If he would have looked at my BC he would have noticed that I didn't have a father on my certificate. My mom refused to put the jack ass on. I never really paid any attencion to it either. No one else has said anything. I say that Thomas's child will grow up calling him daddy and Thomas's wife will be called mommy. I think someday we will not have gender on any legal document. I won't be around but it will be here.