My mother was appalled when on my birthday, I came home from work and cooked a big dinner. But, that's what I wanted that year. My wife went to the store to get the stuff I needed, and I cooked it. It was fun, to me.

Now I'll always help with the cooking over the shelf putter-upping, and I can nearly iron a shirt lovely.... But sitting infront of flickering flames is a special hypnotic experience, like staring into waves hitting a pebbled shore.

Quote from: Pica Pica on November 26, 2008, 02:39:45 PM
Now I'll always help with the cooking over the shelf putter-upping, and I can nearly iron a shirt lovely.... But sitting infront of flickering flames is a special hypnotic experience, like staring into waves hitting a pebbled shore.

Yeah I suppose, but just standing around that barbecue (we call it a braai around here) just watching things cook - cause remember, there aren't even flames anymore - that's just nuts.

~Simone.

Quote from: Pica Pica on November 26, 2008, 02:39:45 PM
Now I'll always help with the cooking over the shelf putter-upping, and I can nearly iron a shirt lovely.... But sitting infront of flickering flames is a special hypnotic experience, like staring into waves hitting a pebbled shore.

Sounds lovely.

Can one change hir vote? I chose segregated yet equal, but the more I think about it, it was gender neutral. No one in my family ever said you can or can't do this because of which sex you are. That policing came from the outside world.

Z

My whole family is generally masculine,  the men are men and the women are men. Except in the older generations who still believe the man should provide and the woman should be a housewife. My family seems to favour masculinity, women...girly women at least... are "second rate"

i grew up in several different households, and there was always a sufficient number of girls amongst the siblings, but there always seemed to be a need for one more girl. so i sorta fit into that role, and nobody complained until after i was grown up a bit, and then it was like, ok, now you have to stop doing this girl stuff and be a boy again. which was Ok, because by then i had already set up girl-support systems outside of my home.

Quote from: Zythyra on November 27, 2008, 07:10:21 AM
Can one change hir vote? I chose segregated yet equal, but the more I think about it, it was gender neutral. No one in my family ever said you can or can't do this because of which sex you are. That policing came from the outside world.

Z

I checked the box to allow the option of changing one's voting selection when I created the poll. Unfortunately, the ability to do so doesn't seem to be functioning. 

-Emerald

Quote from: Emerald on November 27, 2008, 05:42:05 PM

Quote from: Zythyra on November 27, 2008, 07:10:21 AM
Can one change hir vote? I chose segregated yet equal, but the more I think about it, it was gender neutral. No one in my family ever said you can or can't do this because of which sex you are. That policing came from the outside world.

Z

I checked the box to allow the option of changing one's voting selection when I created the poll. Unfortunately, the ability to do so doesn't seem to be functioning. 

-Emerald

I took a look... does it work now?

Quote from: Leiandra on November 27, 2008, 05:59:41 PM
I took a look... does it work now?

Ah! Yes, it seems to be working now. Thanks Leiandra! 

-Emerald 

Quote from: Leiandra on November 27, 2008, 05:59:41 PM

Quote from: Emerald on November 27, 2008, 05:42:05 PM


I checked the box to allow the option of changing one's voting selection when I created the poll. Unfortunately, the ability to do so doesn't seem to be functioning. 

-Emerald

I took a look... does it work now?

Yes, I was able to change it. Thanks Leiandra!

Z

My family treats my brother how they would treat a son and they treat me as they would treat a daughter. I remember back when I was little my brother and dad were helping my mom with groceries and I asked if I could help and my mom told me "No it's ok, that's mans work" and I thought "...what? WHY CAN'T I DO IT?!" I didn't tell her that but I asked her why I couldn't help and why it was considered "mans work" in a more civil way. She told me but I can't really remember what she said. So I guess that's the gender environment I'm in. To this day, if one of my parents wants some kind of minor physical labor chore done like taking out the trash or something they'll ask my brother to do it and not me (obvious reasons why they don't ask me). I feel kinda left out..

In my experiences, I found a moderate amount of gender segregation.  I'll offer a Thanksgiving example, where some of my second cousins (3 girls) were receiving Xmas presents early.  Let's run down the list:

1) My Little Ponies knock-offs
2) Little Miss Locket or something (colors coordinated with the girls' hair)
3) Some dolls with brushable hair
4) Cameras (one was a girly color)
5) Fluffy pink path robes

Needless to say, only 1 of 5 is even reasonable for a boy.  While this does not necessarily imply inequality, a pretty clear separation exists.

Also, they all happened to wear dresses/skirt (even though their moms did not), but at least one parent had the decency to give pants/tights to her two.

---

I should add that much of this family takes pride in the idea that they believe they are treating the children (and adults, for that matter) equally.  Of course, "if separate but equal" does not hold up (and I think in practice it does not), then that vision isn't truly realized.  And I think my own self is the counterexample that proves the case... 

Seperate but equal. My parents made me do girly extracurricular activities when I was very young, while my brother did sports. I wasn't really interested in either though (but I could shoot hoops and rollerblade better than my brother hehe). And they only made us do that stuff for maybe a year.
But they did let me be a tomboy, except for having to wear a bathing suit or a dress. They let me wear boy's clothes, bought me boy toys, while my relatives got me girl toys for christmas, etc...
My dad has bought me girly jewelry sometimes for christmas, etc but I never actually wore it..
They've supported my interests though, no matter what, and I've had interests in things that are typical of any gender.

Thinking of how I've been treated as a girl my whole life gives me heartache,  when I could have had a boyhood... But compared to some of you guys and girls' posts, my childhood wasn't so bad as far as gender goes.

In my house I was allowed to take on the gender roles I wanted. I did the laundry, cleaned the floor, washed the dishes, did cooking and baking, and a share of the sewing. This even continued when I was in my 20s and my dad helped me get a new motor for my sewing machine. I was taught to be a pacifist like most girls of the time where taught. And my mother frequently told me I was the replacement for the infant girl she had lost when she was a young wife. All the same I felt that to say, "I want to be a girl," would not have been accepted.