Dislikes:

* Body hair. Although it does have one advantage. I instantly bonded with my cat. She took one look at my chest fur and went, MOMMY!

* Shaving my face.

* Thinning hair as I get older. But not below my scalp, damn it!

* When I was a kid, getting mocked by my classmates for not being athletic, macho, etc, etc. Doesn't happen now, though. At least not to my face.

* Again, when I was a kid, being chosen last for teams. And not being able to "opt out" of that sadistic ritual.

* A sense of isolation. Feeling that I have to hide my real self, and that no one like me or accepts me. Although to be fair, I don't know if that's because I'm a bio guy, or just because I have underlying personality problems that have nothing to do with being born male.

* I'm expected to take the risk of "making the first move".

* And, of course, having a limited selection of clothing.


On the other hand, I must admit there are advantages to being a bio-guy:

* Guys get more distinguished as they get older.
* Don't have to worry as much about my appearance.
* Don't have to shave my legs.
* Don't have to work twice as hard for half the pay.
* Much less fear of getting mugged.
* Don't have to deal with unwanted sexual advances.
* I'm always dressed to go up a ladder (no skirts or heels  ).

An addition for me, one which is a major bug bear - also one which I've to supress but I've been reminded of lately.

Being treated as if I have no feelings.

A few of times I have gone to my sister's to look after her and her daughter (my niece and godaughter) for a day or few and she just unloads on me and abuses me as if "its just my little brother he can take it" I'm sick of being an emotional punching bag, not just for my sister but for most women generally.

And for those who ask why I'm not married, look at the above not how I act or how I dress.  I say no to lots of women I know won't treat me properly.

I hate body hair.  I hate my masculine figure.  I hate my male member.  But most of all I hate not being one of the girls, like when they gather at a party and talk about girl things, or go to try on clothes at the mall, or get together for girls night out.  I have always, ever since I was a small kid, wanted to just be one of the girls.  Being one of the guys did absolute nothing for me. Still don't.

What can I possily say that everyone else here already hasns't? I could simply say that I hate everything about it; better yet, I'll say what I don't like is not being a bio-girl. Besides the fact that I lack any interest/deftness in sports, masculinity, or a girl-friend (cause you know I just HAVE to be gay if I'm not having sex yet  ), I have the combined problem of having certain "female" aspects to my body and the teenage hormonal imbalances. I don't know how many times I've heard my classmates/parents say to me "You have small feet" or "You have small hands and wrists" or even "Put some bass in your voice." But to be specific for the sake of it...

Hates:
Facial Hair, body hair, figure (which is to say LACK of it), clothes, treatment from others (like everyone else who said this here, I just HAVE to be an emotionless wall or some other some crap like that), not being part of the many, MANY things girls do that makes them feel so much like a loving community (Because as stated..I DON'T LIKE sports, so a sports team is out of the question) voice tone, social expectations (some of them are just TOO MUCH), standard "he's a male" treatment I receive from my friends/family, having to hide my emotional self and "true me" on the inside and let it tear me apart, and of course, my "Little Schnitzel" as I call it.

Likes:
.....It's not a shock when I play video games  ?

This is my first ACTUAL thread post, so if I did something wrongin it or my response, please don't hold it against me.

Hmm... I'll play!

(In no real order)

1. My penis. I mean seriously, WTF?
2. My arms. They are uncomfertably long.
3. Facial hair. It makes me feel ugly and gross.
4. Sex Drive. NO I DON'T WANT ANY SEX WITH GIRLS!!!
5. The general idea that I'm a guy. Uh, no.
6. My body is way too skinny...
7. My chest feels way too flat...
8. Body Hair. It's so gross...
9. My skin. It feels oily...
10. Being treated like a guy... *sigh*

Quote from: Lyric on November 22, 2008, 12:27:46 AM
Well, I'm not TS, so I can't say I really hate being a bio-guy, but... I often think it would be nice if the stuff in my pants were truly retractable. I tuck, but it's not always that comfortable for me. I really envy women in that they can just cross their legs any way they want and all.

--Lyric

Really DOES get in the way...

I'm  not pure TS so there isn't an incredible 24/7 state of male resent, but there is a lot about it that I get sick of.

Dislikes

Body & Facial Structure - I think this holds me back the most in considering transition or even from cross dressing. I look at my hands and see man hands. I look at my feet and see man feet, I inherited my father's heavy brow. All of these <not allowed> up my reflection for me.

Sex - I like men, but I'm not gay and they all want to do is play with my dick, when I'm just trying to be myself for a night and forget about it. I like women but again there is the same problem. Even liking women was a big problem for me for a long time, until I decided that it wasn't going to go away, and I'd need to learn to live with it.

Social Issues - Women always expect me to act like a man to them and do that whole thing which I absolutely hate. I'm ok with being a guy in everyday social settings where it really doesn't matter either way, but when a girl wants my arm around her shoulder and all of that typical Hollywood male ->-bleeped-<- I just curl up inside.

Further, people expect me to act like a guy and I can deal with that sometimes, but there are points where I get sick of it, but you have to inch out with a lot of subtlety and technique so as not to scare people, because just turning it on or off will really <not allowed> with their heads.

Guy Clothes are BOOORING - I've been trying to ritz up my male wardrobe lately, but it really doesn't do anything but distract me.

Lacking Social Privilege - Seriously, girls have got some ->-bleeped-<- guys NEVER get.

Likes:
People Listen To Me - I can cut people off in conversations more often without it being a big deal, and also I can speak without being cut off for much longer than a girl can. Also my opinions are more respected by both genders.

Being Strong - i don't care who you are, pulling a boulder out of the ground that is five times your size and pushing it down the hillside and watching it gain so much speed that it jumps the creek below is pretty rewarding.

It's O.K. To Be An ->-bleeped-<- - This is one that I'd really miss (hell I'd keep it, let the world adjust to me!). But having attitude, talking crudely, and being edgy is really fun for me. I don't think I could quit that if I tried.

Quote from: Kara-Xen on November 23, 2008, 09:56:17 PM

Quote from: Lyric on November 22, 2008, 12:27:46 AM
Well, I'm not TS, so I can't say I really hate being a bio-guy, but... I often think it would be nice if the stuff in my pants were truly retractable. I tuck, but it's not always that comfortable for me. I really envy women in that they can just cross their legs any way they want and all.

--Lyric

Really DOES get in the way...

When I was younger and thinner, it wasn't a problem. But these days, well, I guess my thighs are bigger around now.

QuoteIt's O.K. To Be An ->-bleeped-<- - This is one that I'd really miss (hell I'd keep it, let the world adjust to me!). But having attitude, talking crudely, and being edgy is really fun for me. I don't think I could quit that if I tried.

Okay that's another one I dislike about being a bio-guy, I know it may sound liberating but...

1. I've never had male friends because arseholeness and crudeness is never too far away.

2. When I left school I went out of my way to avoid male-dominated profressions because of this.

3. People expect me to be agressive and crude when I'm just the opposite. So either the finger is wrongly pointed at me or there's something wrong with me because I don't act like a blokey bloke.

4. If I was a bio-woman and I was working in a male-dominated workplace or profession people would understand my objections but I'm a guy and therefore something is wrong with me

5. At school I got picked on when I didn't laugh at their crude (and sometimes sexist) jokes. "Go play with the girls" was a thing they often said to me but that was impossible because the boys and the girls were separated at lunchtime and recess.

There are still feminine ways of expressing it, you just have to have the ovaries to be a bitch.

Wow, Goldy what a great thread, with great responses!

For me--

(in the past) as people have said, the whole stupid boatload of expectations. I didn't want to discuss cars, snowmobiles, football or the like. I didn't want to posture and go through the whole catalog of idiot behaviours, or watch you do it either.

(in the present) I would really love to have been able to bear a child, and yes I know it's not just a walk in the park. Still, I regret that I can't ever be pregnant. I also hate having to agonize over when and if to tell someone about my history. And, more superficially, I wish I had HIPS!

I'll just add one more thing: It's amazing to me that the very same traits and behaviours that I used to get bashed for, are now the very ones that my (FEMALE!) friends love best about me. What a world.

As a male so many think you are invulnerable. Everything washes off and you can shrug off the most annoying pestilences.

Seems as though most want to discuss sports like its the end all of everything that is male and must be talked about. And golf...OMG don't get me going on that. I HATE that game yet EVERYBODY assumes I have to like it and must like it and will know about it so they start talking like being a guy makes me an expert.

And beer. Bleh that is the nastiest tasting stuff yet I obviously presenting as a male demand it. People seem shocked when all I want is ice water, no lemon.

"What? No beer? OMG are you GAY?"

Can't say..oh wow he's cute, or that is cute because that is gay. Nothing is cute, there are no tears, and anything feminine is taboo.

WoW!

Stealthgrrl and Lori,

You both nailed it for me. The whole thing about being expected to like or dislike things just because they are or are not male typical. Except for the beer... I still like beer, just not as much as I used to.

Well I think what I liked the most was that no one felt any great urge to protect or shelter me.  I think that gave me a wider range of chances and opportunities than a girl in my situation would have had.

Other than that, most of what people discuss is just a broad range of stereotypes that in reality don't hold much water, or didn't much past 1965 or so.  I know lots of guys who never did or liked sports, and lots of girls who did. 

That male crudeness might not ever be far away, but it has its reasons, and again, I know some pretty crude women too, they were able to rise (or lower themselves) to the occasion. 

My feet are not too bad, 12 or 11wide in girls shoes, but my hands are what they are, I work with them, I'm not ashamed of them.  They are a dead giveaway perhaps, but I'm only being who I am, and I'm not saying that I'm not, so it goes.

But most of the rest is pretty OK, it was more the social and cultural aspects of being a girl that appeal to me then the biology deal, which is, I think in its own way, somewhat easier to change.

I hate it being seen as weird when I get emotional, or if I am affectionate with my son. When I'm out with him, I get a lot of comments like "what an attentive father" and such.

I know it's a compliment, but it still reminds me that my personality doesn't really fit the male role.

I hate everything that reminds me Im a bio-guy.  but after next week, whilst in Thailand reading a good book & recuperating from my GRS, Ill leave all that behind me & therell be no trace of that painful truth.

Quote from: tekla on November 27, 2008, 10:35:36 AM
Other than that, most of what people discuss is just a broad range of stereotypes that in reality don't hold much water, or didn't much past 1965 or so.  I know lots of guys who never did or liked sports, and lots of girls who did. 

I assume Tekla is referring to the comments about beer and sports and so on.

Personally, I think beer tastes awful, and I neither follow nor participate in sports. But that hasn't bothered me since I graduated from high school -- because since then, most of my associates have been computer nerds and techie geeks. Few of them expect guys to spend every weekend watching sports and guzzling beer.

However, I'm not convinced that the "general population" has given up those stereotypes. God knows, the ads for my local cable company imply every normal guy would sacrifice his first born male child to get 47 sports channels.

the ads for my local cable company imply every normal guy would sacrifice his first born male child to get 47 sports channels

If that were true, they wouldn't need to advertise to try to sell it would they?  And even most of the 'nerds' I know like some form of sport.  Its not all NFL.  Its bikes and rock climbing, skiing, surfing - physical stuff.  When I see sport I see it in all those forms, not just couch potatoes watching the Cowboys.  And the girls I know are as active as the guys.  They climbed as well as us - sometimes better, skied as well as us - sometimes better, and always play softball better then I do, so its not a straight up split, though it is a sharp age division I'll grant you. 

Quote from: tekla on November 28, 2008, 02:19:28 AM
And even most of the 'nerds' I know like some form of sport.

True! But they accept the fact that I don't. Unlike the ->-bleeped-<-s I had to deal with in high school!

Personally, since the late 60s, I haven't felt any pressure to conform to the stereotype that males are expected to love sports and beer. But starting in the late 60's, I've systematically cut myself off from the twits who generate that kind of pressure.

Has society changed, and they've gone the way of the dodo? Or are they still out there, and they'd hassle me if I was released into "gen pop"? Damned if I know.

Quote from: Stealthgrrl on November 27, 2008, 05:31:20 AM
Wow, Goldy what a great thread, with great responses!

Well thank you very much Ma'am, I'm pretty much amazed at the response myself.

Quote from: Stealthgrrl on November 27, 2008, 05:31:20 AM... the whole stupid boatload of expectations. I didn't want to discuss cars, snowmobiles ...

OMG!!! We've discovered the TG Sarah Palin!!! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

No, not at all

But on a more serious note, Sorry, I couldn't resist, It's a shame snowmobilers, moose hunters or anyone from Alaska or a cold US state will be stuck with accusations of associations to Ms Palin for the near future.

(See humour - "Mom, Dad I've got something to tell you" for more fun.)