Oh - dont get me wrong -
There were plenty of convincing and valid reasons why NOT to, just from the "logical" standpoint of trying to maintain some measure of my life's "stability" by the terms of other people's needs, wants, standards and judgements, but the overwhelming reality of my own mental and emotional state outweighed all of them more forcefully than i could have ever imagined. I hear you, and we seem to be paralleling each other somewhat, but on slightly different tracks of perception, i think...
I was "looking" for reasons to NOT transition, mainly ONLY as a means of making sure that i had exhausted all other mental and emotional options - deeply and piercingly playing devil's advocate with myself - as a means of making sure that i was being as dead honest with ME, and therefore eventually everyone else in my life, as i could possibly be, before i took the plunge......
This may have been what you just said or intended, and i have just expanded and paraphrased this somewhat - no misunderstanding intended....
So I went, and have not looked back with any regret at all since then...
Lovingly always,
ChefAnnagirl
