I am an only child by birth.

When I was young, elementary age, I lived in a small trailer park in the middle of nowhere. As such I ended up spending quite a lot of time doing my own thing, either there were no children near or I did not wish to associate with them.

Sometime during this location I wanted a sister. Bad. Really really bad. I'm not exactly sure why. This is like some deep dark secret to me too by the way, which is perplexing.

I think I have come to the conclusion that I wanted a friend I could trust implicitly (there is no closer bonds than family) and someone I could talk to, about everything.

---

I originally thought of this post to ask if anyone else had similar experiences, in essence where you ever in the unfortunate situation to have no one you felt you could talk to and wished for someone you did?
Thinking mostly at a very young age.

P.s. I bet I was typing this post long before you reregister Lana! 😛

Quote from: 4years on May 23, 2005, 05:41:27 PM

I think I have come to the conclusion that I wanted a friend I could trust implicitly (there is no closer bonds than family) and someone I could talk to, about everything.

Yes, there is no closer bond than family.  There's nothing like having your very own sister to argue with, and otherwise cause general chaos and disorder.

You want a sister?  I will gladly give you mine.

Heehee that is not quite the same though.

Incidentally Father never got along with his Sister very well either.

Odd I suppose I always thought we'd be a perfect match.   

 

QuoteYes, there is no closer bond than family.

I suppose it depends on how you define family.

Blood relations where they have no choice but to be related biologically to you. Whether or not they support you is another story.

Family as in those who you are involved with on a daily or weekly basis.  Who don't give a RA about what was, only was it now.  Ones who believe in you and trust you.  Ones when they need help ask for yours and when you need it are there instantly for you.

By last count if they are still alive I have one aunt, 7 first cousins, 2 half sisters and their assorted off spring plus my son,  If all of them the only contact I have is with my son, who most of the time is awesome.

I am closer to the women here particularly my Leather Family, than I ever was with my bios ones.  These people know me, not the facade I presented before.

Leigh

I am way behind you as far as my transition Leigh, but I agree completely with what you have said.  I really don't know how they will react and i will miss them if their reaction is bad, i will not be with those who do not accept me completely. I am not sure it would be the same if i didnt have someone who knows exactly who i am and loves me because of who i am.

Quote from: Leigh on May 23, 2005, 08:27:19 PM

QuoteYes, there is no closer bond than family.

I suppose it depends on how you define family.
...

Family in this context does not denote blood relation. For much of the reasons stated.
But, at the same time my family is comprised, in part, of two of my blood relations. So, I tend to intermix the term at times, sorry for that.

Quote from: Leigh on May 23, 2005, 08:27:19 PM

QuoteYes, there is no closer bond than family.

I suppose it depends on how you define family.

>>snip<<

I am closer to the women here particularly my Leather Family, than I ever was with my bios ones.  These people know me, not the facade I presented before.

Leigh

I would agree with you, Leigh. a Family will chose you depiset your flaws and accept you regardless. And if you are really lucky they will grab you and bring you in weather you want them to or not, breaking any barriers you built up to keep other out.

Nyssa

 

QuoteAnd if you are really lucky they will grab you and bring you in weather you want them to or not

In most cases you never know you are even being considered.  If a person knew they might extend themselves doing things that they would not normally do solely to gain acceptance

It is one thing to know women and associate with them socially.  It is quite another to have a Family of women come to you and say We want you to be a part of our lives.

Leigh

QuoteIt is one thing to know women and associate with them socially.  It is quite another to have a Family of women come to you and say We want you to be a part of our lives.

Leigh

You are very fortunate Leigh.




beth

Quote from: Leigh on May 25, 2005, 09:33:30 AM

In most cases you never know you are even being considered.  If a person knew they might extend themselves doing things that they would not normally do solely to gain acceptance

It is one thing to know women and associate with them socially.  It is quite another to have a Family of women come to you and say We want you to be a part of our lives.

Leigh

That is why what you have is the best. You are fortunate to have found a group of people that have not only accepted you but want to include you on the top level.

Nyssa

Leigh, you have mentioned a "Leather Family" in one of your posts here.

Can you please let me know where might that be located?  I don't even know where to start looking.

Tiffani

Tiffani

Before I reply, do you know what Leather is about?

Enlighten me, please, Leigh.

My email address is tiffanipontchartrain@yahoo.ca.

Tiffani

I have also been a loner for most of my adult life. I prefer my own company most of the time and often wish I could have more time to myself.  That is difficult because I am an activist with four separate organizations in three different fields, so what little time that I have is spent right here on my computer talking to people.

Tiffani

Even tho I said that I am a loner most of the time, I do like to go out and meet people from time to time.

Thanks to a member of this particular website's community, I have been inroduced to the alt community in my neck of the woods.  I am eternally grateful for that introduction.

I went to an event on Wednesday evening and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I will be going to another event tonight.

In the last three days, I have been communicating with the members of the e-group that I joined as a result of the information given to me by the afore-mentioned member. 

I have learned that I have a lot to learn re the community that I am becoming a part of; I feel whole for the first time in over fifteen years.  I can interact with people who understand my interests and who are being very supportive when I need that support.

Yet, I am still a loner at heart, altho with my ongoing interaction with the alt community, that may change.  I am happier than I have been for what seems like eternity to me.

To the member that introduced me to the alt community, bless you!  I cannot thank you enough!

tiffani

Quotesomeone I could talk to, about everything

Sometimes the most important thing anyone can be to you, not necessarily to advise you or coach you, or even pick you up when you fall, just to be there with you when you need to let it out and hold nothing back.

Terri

Amen to that Teri. I think we have all had those times when we really needed somebody to just let it all out to and not try to fix anything, just listen. Trouble is the kind of people who want to listen are also the kind of people who want to try and fix everything when really all you want is an, I understand, I sympathise or I know how that is, and nothing more.

I'm bad about that myself. Most times I can't help myself and start trying to fix. "Well if you did this or have you thought about doing that or maybe I could...." I'm working on that though. 

Cassie

That's it exactly Terri,

I heard that's why God gave us two ears and only one mouth. I personally find saying it out aloud gives you a chance not only to get things of your chest but to test the sanity of your thinking.

For some reason anything can sound reasonable in your head but when said aloud and justified with a reasonable argument it tends to clarify your thinking. This process only works however when you have a good listener who will let you get it all out.

Having said that, Cassie don't underestimate a persons need to listen to another when in turmoil. Given my recent experience I can attest to the need to read the replies from my friends here. Just hearing from you all helped me to realise that I was not facing it alone.

I guess the trick is to know when to listen and when to comfort. I find a momentary pause is often the best way to find out whether more is coming.

Shelley