Whenever I work out, or I get kinda horny, my mind switches from girl mode to one track mind man mode. It's really kinda scary... Then I will start to panic and say "Erin, you are a girl, remember?" and then it feels like I'm being taken over and part of me says "Nonesence! Why would I ever want to be a girl? I feel like starting a fight, or going out and having sex with things!" And I'm all like "Nooooooooooo!"

It feels like I've been completely taken over... It's very frightening... Anyone else have this?

Heartwood,

This sounds like me, I always had massive fights about if I was a guy or a girl and in turth I as somewhere in between. I use to ride my bike or swim in the pool and wonder why I would ever want to transistion. Then I would get home and just want to put on a skirt and I felt so trapped and hopless by my situation. I was told many times I could ride a bike as a girl but it felt as if it would be different.

Alice

Yep! sounds like me pre HRT. I would use it as a reason to not transition. Just part of my denial.

I'm not on HRT... so yes thats me too...

I keep myself distracted a lot of the time by just staying "very" busy, but when I stop it all comes back.

I now own a very sorry looking clothes airer that got in my way a few weeks back, when I was in one of "those" moods. It really surprised me how much I enjoyed the deconstruction!

..But i was soo not me!

Chrissty

Mind automatically gets stable once you accept who you are..

Quote from: Heartwood on November 23, 2008, 07:59:32 PM
Whenever I work out, or I get kinda horny, my mind switches from girl mode to one track mind man mode. It's really kinda scary... Then I will start to panic and say "Erin, you are a girl, remember?" and then it feels like I'm being taken over and part of me says "Nonesence! Why would I ever want to be a girl? I feel like starting a fight, or going out and having sex with things!" And I'm all like "Nooooooooooo!"

It feels like I've been completely taken over... It's very frightening... Anyone else have this?

Actually I have the opposite experience: Exercising tends to push me more into "girl mode."

However, for me, "exercising" means relatively mild stuff like a hundred situps and a couple of miles on a treadmill, not heavy-duty macho body building. I do it partly to keep my waist smaller than my hips, but mostly so I don't have another #&%$ heart attack.

Quote from: Chrissty on November 24, 2008, 12:41:14 PM
I'm not on HRT... so yes thats me too...

Same here, not HRT...but it's a 50/50 shot for me. Sometimes I get physical minded and a little but of denial...and sometimes I get really mellow and think about how I'm gonna go about starting my transition.  I guess 50/50 isn't as bad as 90%+ chance of getting freaked out about turning BACK into "destructo mode" 

Maybe you should start off with a light salad? Eating something light and cool before exercising can do wonders for you. I learned that about 2 years ago.

Pieces of me I associate with maleness always creep in... I don't know why.

I had this pre-HRT really badly. That was a major contributor to me stopping about 6 months after I first started being honest with myself about being TS. Once I started HRT though those feelings of being split in two gradually diminished and I just became me. I couldn't be happier now.

I struggle with this notion almost daily.  I am not fully out to everyone yet so therefore I still present a majority of the time as male, even though I feel and act quite abit in feminine mode and roles.  I am also pre-HRT for at least a few more weeks, but I know in my mind that I am a girl and will become the woman I desire to be in the next couple of years. 

You just need to take each day as it comes, be yourself, and let yourself grow into who you desire to become.  We are all different and there is no one correct template that you have to model yourself after.  Society has placed a lot of preconcieved idea's in our heads about what men and women are suppose to be like, but I know a lot of people (non-TG/TS) of both genders that have significantly crossed those lines.  So, I honestly believe that you have to be who you want to be.  Most important thing is to be happy with who you are and to have a positive outlook. 

Attitude is of the utmost importance & be true to yourself.

Best regards, Jennifer R.

I think Im the opposite. I get MORE female minded whenever I work out or get horny. I like to work out in women's clothes and tend to put more into the workout when I think of myself as a powreful female. Ive always had a thing for strong women and girls that could kick my ass and I think alot of it has to do with that.