Leigh,
This is a very interesting question and I agree, at first it seemed like an easy decision to me. I am basically estranged from my parents and siblings. Sexual gratification certainly has not been enough to counter the depression, anger and self-loathing that I have experienced as a result of being in the wrong body. The sense of releif that I would certainly feel from being a real woman would be enormous. And of course, lots of women, about 20% never experience orgasms thier entire life, it is part of the female experience for many women. So I would not be out of the norm in that regard.
The other side of this coin is that having spent such a large amount of time not liking myself, sexual gratification has been one of the few gratifying things in my life, that no one can take from me. Why would I want to give up one of the best things in my life?
To be honest, I kinda always planned on giving it up. Before I ever researched SRS, which was just about a year and a half ago, I always assumed I would be giving up sexual sensation. I have been conditioning myself for that since I was 11 years old. I have since found out that SRS does not mean giving up sexual sensation and that some post-op TS's can actually acheive orgams. That seems absolutely remarkable to me.
To a large degree, pain makes us who we are. The pain we suffer as human beings change who we are, how we act and react. I think I want to get to where I am going under my own power. I can endure the challenges and the pain, I always have. In many ways it defines who I am. My struggle to become the woman I am, on the outside too.
It's a great offer, but I think I will pass.
Love always,
Elizabeth