Charlotte:
There was a time when I got a rush just anticipating my dressing up later on. The addrenaline rush was addictivee, at the time I did not know this but it was the danger of being caught and risking life, job, marriage, reputation, blah ..as the years went by my tolerance for the adrenaline rush grew and my take was that i was no longer interested that finally this phase of my life was over and would vow never to do it again ( with bible, without bible, with solemn oath, with promise to help others, with promise to become martial arts expert, blah blah). The most addictive part was my brain : solving the puzzle of how to get away with passing and not getting caught .
I hate to break it to you but it is a matter of time, this no one can skip or bypass, just TIME, someone told me that
TIME stands for
This
I Must
Earn
My sugestion to you is that you do or accomplish al the the things and dreams that you want to accomplish as a Man/male now before you start shaving arms and legs and eyebrows losing weight and avoid lifting heavy stuff to stay looking femenine and all the disciplinary stuff you might do if you pursue this further. Am sure you'll get plenty of advise about shrinks and the like. Is a pragmatic apprach to get real about the things men do and the things women do.
I started by just dressing up in the bathroom, where i could shower to clean up make up, sperm, etc. then it progressed to the bedroom, then it progressed to the rest of the house then one day I did the most daring thing as I saw this beautiful sunny day...I went into the back yard...then I drove around town... then I went to a bar...a park... responded to invitation to go to someone's house as a girl no overnight bags allowed... then work ( under garmnts)...then a little make up... then one day I was gonna be late for work after spending the night at someone's home no time to go home and change and shower so i put on a pair of jeans i had in the car(Xena with zipper in the back ankles) and flat pointy girls shoes corset that i could not take off and t-shirt. Well I ran to the building cause i did not want to get fired as i approached the main door I saw the reflection on the glass panel of a woman was staring at me: nice round sexy ass, small waist, 2 small swellings on the chest and the remnants of make up and hickies on my neck tossled hair bracelets...oh well.
the talk at the coffee station was fast and heard my name constantly like never before, I did not lose my friends, just my standing as a manly man, but get this, at the end of the day I had 3 phone numbers and an invitation to the lake for a weekend.
These progressions took years. Had anyone told me I could have planned my life better. For the fear of missing out in dressing up i declined many activities where i might show my shaved body, painted toenails, or just not wanting to wear boys clothing. Then I would go through these boyish periods where I was not interested in the least to dress like a woman i felt like one but had no interest in show it off.
Talk to experienced crossdresers first and ->-bleeped-<-s next followed by Transgendered ones and develop a time map or time line of cycles and plan your life as best you can
Love , and appreciate yourself without being selfish, sheila
