I don't identifye as androgyne (Because I don't know WHAT it all entails) but I have always had a naturally "androgynous" look. I don't know how many times I've been mistaken for a girl in my life, but it's not...a bad feeling. I don't even have to try...if I shave what (little) facial hair I have, I'm basically questionable. However, I can say that because of how this has been in my life, I've been in...uncomfortable situations. I just wanted to know has this ever happened to any of you?

Oh, for the record, what makes it uncomfortable for me is having female-related sexual inuendos thrown at me and having people wince when they hear my voice...I'm more embarrased, cause I like being mistekn for the opposite gender, but dislike the verbal stuff that comes with it. 

Oh for sure, this happens to many of us - regardless of what we end up identifying as.
I remember being 18, an art student and having hair down to my shoulders. I was walking past a bus stop one morning and I overheard one of the guys sitting in there say to his friend "Dude, is that a guy or a chick?"
A mixed feeling accompanied that; on one hand it felt awesome to be recognised as potentially female. On the other hand, there was a potential threat in the way the guy said it - i.e. I started walking much faster to put distance between myself and them.
I think androgynes and deliberately androgynous men/women are very brave people.
I'd rather just shelter on either side of the gender binary, where it's nice and safe.

There's a huge difference between gender identity and gender presentation, so the fact that you're dressing androgynously doesn't translate to you being male, female or ... other.

I have fought to have long hair my whole life, starting in primary school, and always presented more andro than anything else. I think it's actually pretty natural for trans people in the closet to do that, whether consciously or subconsciously.

~Simone.

Androgyne as I conceive it entails that you do not identify as male or female and so can identify as both, neither, what have you.

What you then do with this identification is then another thing entirely.

The thing is, girls used to dote on my face (yet I was never good enough to be a boyfriend...not that I cared, cause I was in love with only 1 girl, and heavily infatuated with another before her) and one girl even commented on how it was a shame I wasn't born a girl-appearantly, I look the part. One of my best friends, who is female, used to ask me WHAT I was doing to my skin to make it so soft, and she said my hands were softer than hers. I told her it was natural, with just a bit of lotion to keep my hands from cracking.

Before I accepted I had gender dysphoria, comments like that I would usually play off as being offended by. I was even used to wearing EXTREMELY "stereotypical" male clothes (even though I had a school uniform) and letting what bit of facial hair I have grow AND letting my hair get messy-and I would STILL come off as more female than I should.

What strikes me most is my parents have no problem with my completely natural feminine look-but let me enact something "feminine" or let my father think I'm gay, and all hell would break loose.

Is it kind of like feeling embarrased because the other person feels like they have made this huge mistake? I'm not sure if it is the same thing I feel, but I feel embarased for people that mistake me for a girl and then reconsider when really for me it is better than being mistaken for a guy. It is like I'm as pleased as punch and then they go ruin it all by getting all apologetic and flustered. It is like they are saying "how silly of me, you can't possibly have been a woman". And I just want to reply -"well actually you are not that far wrong and I took it as a compliment stop making such an awkward fuss".

Funny about parents, and people in general. I think a lot of it comes down to perception and people seeing what they want to see. Your father sees you as a guy and it puts blinders on them. Everything is always a huge shock when that perception is shattered.

I remember walking into town one time (by myself) overhearing the conversation of a group of some of my younger, delightful school mates debating, at length, "Is that a boy or a girl?", and periodically shouting, "Are you a boy or a girl?" at me.
I felt strangely complimented and insulted at the same time.

Incidentally, I walk quite fast and went a differnt way, so they never did get an answer to their question.

I'm sure it haunts them to this very day.

Quote from: Nicky on December 16, 2008, 01:53:32 PM
Is it kind of like feeling embarrased because the other person feels like they have made this huge mistake? I'm not sure if it is the same thing I feel, but I feel embarased for people that mistake me for a girl and then reconsider when really for me it is better than being mistaken for a guy. It is like I'm as pleased as punch and then they go ruin it all by getting all apologetic and flustered. It is like they are saying "how silly of me, you can't possibly have been a woman". And I just want to reply -"well actually you are not that far wrong and I took it as a compliment stop making such an awkward fuss".

Funny about parents, and people in general. I think a lot of it comes down to perception and people seeing what they want to see. Your father sees you as a guy and it puts blinders on them. Everything is always a huge shock when that perception is shattered.

I used to work at a retail store, and I had been growing my hair out for about two years at that point. Customers would occasionally call me "miss" from a distance, and I particularly remember one older man who became so embarrassed and apologetic over it that I legitimately felt bad for the guy. Like you said, each time that happened I wanted them to know I took it as a compliment, but...yeah, I just had to shrug it off, accept the apology, and continue on my day.

"well actually you are not that far wrong and I took it as a compliment stop making such an awkward fuss".

thats how i feel when someone does it, i would love to say that to them though fear that it would confuse them even more and just prolong the awkward bit :0)

When I was a waiter I had to have a ponytail, I was called miss all the time. They called me miss at the pub, but they did that on purpose.

as a teen I was in a suport group for teens with cancer - canteen
on camps there was alway a dress up & I'd always wear a dress
one time when chatting to the people in the office as a slip of the tounge one of the staff refered to me with fem pronoun and imeditaly apoligised.
I said no worries afterall you have seen me in a dress she diddn't know how to respond to that.  I had no idea why i was so happy about that encounter

Ever since I've cut my hair short I've been mistaken for male by little kids, or had kids question my sex. Honestly, it makes me feel complimented--I love that my sex is no longer readily apparent.