You don't have to reply to this; I just need to get stuff out and I have nowhere else. If you can offer any advice or anything I would really appreciate it a lot but I know it's down to me really to make a change.

I was born with a female body but as far back as I can remember I have always felt and wanted to be male. This has never changed and as I've grown I feel it's only become stronger. I know who I am but I guess I'm not strong enough.

Even though it was extremely difficult I told my parents over a year ago, face to face, how I felt and that was the end of it. I told them because I couldn't take it any more. I had become depressed and had lost my social life. They had noticed that change in me. I really thought that in the end they'd support me and I'd be on my way to happiness as who I know I am. They have always known how I wanted to be a boy, how I preferred all the guyish things etc but they thought I was just a tomboy and tried to make me more girly. They always said the kind of things like do what makes you happy, we'll support you etc so although I knew it would be difficult and would take time, I really thought they would be fine with me in the end and would support me. When I told them they told me I was sick and needed help to get me 'better'. They really didn't listen to me properly and didn't take me seriously. They told me I was a confused teenager and not to dare tell any one else and that it would go away. I'm not allowed to even speak of it let alone act the way I feel. If I do speak of it, it's ignored or I'm told not to be stupid because I'm a girl and always will be no matter what and things along those lines. I have to deal with not nice comments about gay people and transsexuals. My parents say things like it's wrong, gross and odd. I still live with them at the moment so it's pretty difficult. It makes me feel awful when they say those things though because it's like they are digging at me and they make me and anyone who isn't straight seem like some criminal or alien. I wish they'd at least see that I only trusted them with such a difficult thing and with the most part of me.

So basically for them I've grown my hair out, I'm trying to be as girly as I can and trying to do whatever pleases them even though it doesn't make me happy. They think I am 'getting better' and are like told you so! I just want to be myself. I feel like a robot and I'm more depressed than before. Here is the only place I am able to talk about this stuff and am truly thankful.

I can't take it any more but I really don't see my family and friends understanding. I can't think of one person I could tell. If my parents don't understand I can't see anyone else understanding. The closest person to me was my father so yeah and my family aren't happy with me being bisexual so how would they be ok with this?
I am about to give up I really can't take it. Why can't I just be myself? Why can't they see how much this is killing me? Is that what they want, me to be someone I'm not and feel so bad about myself? I feel trapped.
I love my family and I don't want to put them through all this but I can't keep putting myself through this. I don't want to lose them either. I really don't think whatever I do I can win.
I know I sound so annoying as a lot of people go through this at some stage but I just had to get this out, sorry.
My head is all confused I don't know what else to say, but I feel a bit better for getting all that out I guess.

It feels better to get stuff off your chest.

Living with a family who doesn't support you can be hard and most transgendered people usually do have a family that doesn't support them. It's not your fault you feel this way. Do what makes you happy. It's natural to not want to lose your family if you care about them but you still want to have some happiness for yourself. I can't think of much advice but I know how you feel dude..I live with a family that doesn't support me and the friends I have don't really acknowledge it. Hang in there, bro



Raditz

I really feel for you stuck! I lived your flip side until I was 54. Then I went to a therapist and did a lot of hard work to overcome what my unsupportive family had done to try to destroy the real me.
All I can suggest is to seek out your own therapy, check out sites online or get books from the library.

If you're old enough to get your own doctors appointments just go for it. You will regret waiting to transition if you leave it. I'm only 19 and already cursing myself for the years I wasted being too scared to be myself. I've never been so happy and I'm not even on any sort of treatment yet. However my family is being (somewhat) supportive, but you can still do it. You have us guys to talk to and get advice from, your family will come around eventually.

Hey there Stuck,

I know how u feel.  I've always felt like i was trapped ina females body.  I thought there was no way that anything would ever change so i started to become more 'girly' to make my mum happy...That went on for 6years, started to feel suffocated in a body that wasnt right.  I actually started to see someone 3weeks ago (without my parents knowing) to get some anti-depressants and stuff to help me sleep.  I didnt mention that i was TG, just other issues that were going on.  But next time i go i'm going to finally talk to them about it, put some steps into place because like you, i cant stand it anymore... It was eating me up inside, i was confused as hell.  Just like Jeatyn said, if ur old enough u can go see someone...it does help.  You've come to the right place.  Heaps of ppl hear that understand u and will support u for sure.

Take care - hang in there

Hey sorry to hear that... that would basically be my situation if I attempted to transition.

I don't really know what you can do about it, apart from re-assert how you feel to your family. It may take a while, but they will (probably) gradually get used to the idea...

Hey StuckInTheMiddle , My heart goes out to you in your predicament . I myself live in a house where my parents say they understand but tend to only slightly critisize what im doing because it could be a health issue or money issue . The only piece of advice that I can offer is be HAPPY . Don't let ANYONE steer you into a direction you don't feel comfortable in going . You have an identity that needs to be fullfilled and they are obviously in a stage of denial . They are also likely in a state of fear like all parents even mine tend to be in . The whole what if someone knows , how will it affect my child ect.. You know yourself better than anyone ellse in this world . You know your a guy and should be respected and treated as such . In my opinion I say believe in yourself and if you have to try to book appointments in secrecy for the time being . As soon as you take a step in the right direction you'll feel better about yourself . If your working save up as much money as you can and plan out a transition timeline in secret . But NEVER give up . It's a rough journey for us trans people but we know that if we follow the rainbow we will hit the pot of gold at the other end . Just remember your not alone when you feel you are . You'll always find someone within your own community that will be able to accept you and  treat you as you should . Hang in there and all the best of luck ! xoxo ~ Carmen ~

Hi Stuck...I really don't know anything about your age, if your in high school, maybe college.  Unlike you, when I finally revealed myself to my mother (at a very emotionally disturbing time) over the phone, she indicated her support.  My sister, whom she revealed this to, said my mother cried.  However, my mother had told me in a letter that she suspected I was different because of how I behaved as a child.  She never did say anything more about that.  She and my sisters were very supportive.  My stepfather, however, didn't want to speak to me.  It took nearly a year before he finally came around and at least acknowledged me.  Eventually our relationship improved.  My wife - that's something else.  She is not supportive, and quite frankly I don't blame her.  I took her to my last therapy session per the standards.  She wasn't hostile, but she sure as hell didn't like being there either.  We are still together and we get along fine, but I'm back on the rollercoaster and I don't know where it will take me.  Regarding you, do your best to cope with the family situation.  If you are in college, or you have a college/university local to you, look for the psychologist, or as I did, I revealed myself to my psychology teacher.  She just seemed to have the personality of someone who would be supportive and give me direction.  I was correct and she did.  Just an avenue that you may have access to.  I wish you well.