Hi,
So i have some questions about coming out at work and what worked well for others. The situation that i'm in now is I have told HR and management. They are on board with my transistion and they gave me 100% support. Most of my close co-worker friends know since I told them personally. With how i dress at work, I'm more or less already in girl mode all the time and people notice.

so i work at a largish sort of plant with 400 people. Our building is a branch of a larger defense aerospace sort of company. There is a policy for everything on the book but transitioning. this is fine, since i'll be happy to write the book.

The question is , how do we announce this to the rest of the plant. After a few meetings with HR and my bosses, we thought that the whole big group announcement thing would be too impersonal , and might turn my coming out into a "dog and pony show". So the idea we had was to tell all the mangers though the management chain (verbal and a letter), then on a given Thursday, the mangers have the decision how they are going to tell their individual department staff about my plans, pronouns, etc and to also re-iterate the companies non-discrimination policy. The Monday after the announcement, I come in as Me full time ;-)

I'm a bit worried that the message might get lost in the management chain, and some mangers that don't agree, might never tell their own departments.

But in the same since, I like the idea of keeping the coming out day, low key.

if anyone has and suggestions on what worked well for them. I'd appreciate.

~Natalie

try doing each section through a webchat and allow people to ask their questions etc.
Or take the long route, tell one person a day, and by February next year youll be done.
-Itll take a long time, but if you spend 4 months deciding how to do it, you could have told 120 people by then.

At my workplace, all the managers of all the teams were informed a few weeks prior to my 'T-Day'.
T-Day was a Monday, so the managers were instructed to release the information to their teams on the Friday before my first day. This gave everyone the weekend to freak out about it or come to terms with it, so that by Monday, they'd have a...clearer perspective of it.
On Monday morning an e-mail was sent out to all staff at my workplace, announcing my transition.
Here's the letter (edits for privacy):

Quote
All,

Re: Daniel Johnston

For those who don't know Dan, Dan was until recently a member of the T&S Infrastructure Operation team on level X and was transitioned to Xxxxx as part of the new support contract.  Dan is currently a member of the Xxxxx on-site support team here at Xxxxx.

Dan has informed his employer, Xxxxx, and they have subsequently advised the Ministry, of Dan's intention to change his gender.  This is obviously a challenging time for Dan, Dan will be changing his appearance and we ask that you respect his decision. 

If you have any issues or questions please direct these to your manager in the first instance.

Xxxxx Xxxxx
Manager, Infrastructure Operations
Technology & Services
Ministry of Xxxxx
P O Box Xxxxx
WELLINGTON

Hope that helps!

the email idea is good, it sort of adds one more check that everyone knows and things are as clear as they can be.

After I went thru my HR and Management, we had things ready to be put in place.  I went on vacation.  The day that I went on vacation my coming out leter was posted in the break room.

Quote
PERSONAL STATEMENT TO EMPLOYEES & COLLEGUES


I know that this probably shocked a few of you, surprised others, and then there are a few of you who have known that I am transsexual.  This is a medically recognized condition where my body does not match my inner gender identification.

This is the second hardest thing that I have ever done in my life, the first being telling my family of this. First and foremost I want to assure everyone that I haven't changed on the inside, and that my work ethic will not change. I will continue to give 110% to each and every one of you with regards to safety, safety training, your concerns and needs, and everything else here at the Xxxxxxxxx, just as I have been doing in the past.

The only real thing that will change is my outward appearance to you. Being Transsexual is not a sickness, or illness, it is a psychological condition called Gender Identity Disorder that can only be cured by changing ones gender (sex). I have lived with Gender Identity Disorder all of my life and I have been successful in concealing it over the years. However leading a double life has become so very hard that my wife and I have separated. I have decided to take this life-altering step. Be assured that Transsexuality has nothing to do with sex, only that my gender will be changed from male to female.

I know that there will be some who will not be able to understand such a drastic change to one's life, and I'm not asking you to. There will be others who may be resentful and even hateful, and I understand this. I just want to assure you, that the person you have known these past years as Jxxx Gxxxxxx has not changed on the inside, just on the outside, and when I return to work after my vacation on September 20th, I will have legally changed my name to Janet Lynn OXxxxx. I would appreciate your respect and support by referring to me with female pronouns and my new court ordered name. I would welcome your support and understanding as together we make it though this transition, what will be a most difficult time for all of us.

Finally, please, if you have any questions, don't be afraid, just ask, I will do my best to answer them all, to dispel any fears or concerns that you may have.

It remained posted for a month and that was that.  Ever since then I have been me at work everyday and in every way.

Janet

Natalie:

When I spoke to HR, they had never had a trans person before but they were anxious to make sure they did it right.  They have an active LGBT group and is absolutely supportive of diversity.

Coincidentally there was a FTM that wanted to come out at the same time.  It was serendipitous.  Basically they gave he and I three days off when they made the announcement to allow anyone who might have problems with us to come to HR without feeling like they were talking behind our backs.

It was a wonderfully uneventful transition for me.  If there was any backlash, I would say it was that because they kept the subject of the meeting with the entire staff (over 200 people!) secret but made it a requirement to attend *and* it was presided over by HR and senior management, many people thought it had to do with layoffs.  So the result of the meeting was "Is that ALL???"  A few people were miffed because of the secrecy meeting and getting people upset.

I'm hoping that if anyone else has a similar transition that it would be handled by a simple memo from management.

I wrote about it in my blog, here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,12308.0.html

Best of luck in your transition.

And congratulations!!!

-Sandy

Quote from: Kassandra on December 23, 2008, 03:02:16 AM

I'm hoping that if anyone else has a similar transition that it would be handled by a simple memo from management.

My managers did this; but they placed a non-descript memo on a busy wall and didn't make any attempt to make sure people read it.  I have dealings with clients and it's important for coworkers to use proper pronouns when referring to me to potential clients, so that was a big issue the first few weeks.  Took a few allies to make sure those on their shifts had read it; even weeks later I'm still finding that there are still a bunch who don't know.  For the most part people are trying to get it right.

Jay

There must be hundreds of stories here about how people came out at work.  There is a guide in our Wiki that you may find helpful.  Just keep in mind that this is a guide.  It can be found here:

https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace

It also contains sample letters that members here have provided.

Steph

still appreciate people personal stories, even if there are 100s of them. more information is better, but then i have a tendency to over analyze situations.

don't assume management can or will talk to everybody. also don't assume everyone will read their email either. my boss said he talked to people but nobody knew anything except in my department and a few others, most everybody else i had to tell myself, cuz they had no idea. and that was like half the store!

assume NOTHING!!! it makes an a** out of u n me.

(my apologies to whomever my comment may offend, but its something good i learned from both my parents).

Quote from: natalie on December 23, 2008, 09:26:22 PM
still appreciate people personal stories, even if there are 100s of them.

Very true indeed.  The Wiki article I mentioned is in fact based on my on personal coming out at work.  In my own case it turned out that the company completely supported my transition.

It stated with me writing a confidential letter directly to the General Manager of our area, by passing my own manager and staff.  About two months later (The longest two months of my life) He contacted me advising me that he had set up a meeting that would include myself, the General Manager and the Senior VP of HR.  The meeting took place away from the work place in a discreet location.  At the meeting I explained my situation and my intention to transition.  They took my information package for review and instructed me not to discuss this with anyone and they would get back to me after they met with their lawyers.  I agreed.

They arranged another meeting.  This time my own manager was instructed to attend and we discussed further what my intentions were what were the mile stones I needed to reach and we discussed and agreed upon a date that my transition at work would take place as they would need to prepare the workplace before my transition.

During the intervening time the company arranged for sensitivity and harassment training for all employees and one week before my transition was to take place the company sent briefing teams to the three school boards, and to the other company branches to advise them of what was about to take place, that they supported my transition and that they would not tolerate any form of harassment.

My transition went very smoothly, however I'm not so naive as to think that everyone supported me, although most did.  There were several complaints from parents that "People like me" should not be allowed near children etc. but the company stood by their guns in their support of me.  As long as could do my job according to the job requirements then they were not concerned.  As my job brings me in close contact with school children the company also prepared a press package that would be used should there be objections from schools parents and teachers etc. that hit the local press.

It was a very scary time to be sure, but I feel it was pre-planning and preparation that made my transition successful.

I am still employed by the same company as their Safety Manager.

Steph