Well, about a year or so ago I was seriously considering coming out. I hated being male, I hated my male parts, and I really didn't get on with males as friends.

I've been cross dressing since my early childhood, among other things, but I won't go into all that right now.


Since a year ago, I've been way too busy with finishing up high school to really think about; I thought I'd best leave it, and see if it went away. Haha, famous last words, eh?

Well I'm now in my last year, and as a family we've just got settled after a period of stress and moving house and stuff. And just as we get it all out of the way, I'm starting to have the same feelings of gender dysphoria.

The problem is, I'm not sure whether it's the right decision, and whether now is the right time. I've already put it off a year or so, and I don't want to keep doing that, do I?

I shaved most of my body hair off the other day, and felt SO liberated and feminine. I haven't exactly shouted about the fact I've done it either, as I'm sure the parents would start asking questions, especially as I've dodged getting  my haircut for so long.

The thing is, the parents have said before that it's okay if I'm gay; in the past I've been depressed and they've hinted to me saying are you sure there's nothing you need to tell us, and I've always bit my tongue and said no.

But right now, the feeling is back in full swing, and I'm just immensely confused, and not sure how the parents will react. Any advice?



edit: removed clues to age - =K

Hi Ellie,

Welcome to our little family. Over 1300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another sister.

Janet

Welcome!

My mom used to say the same thing about me, that if I'm gay, she's okay with it.

They may find that accepting you are trans is a bit more difficult sledding, but the fact they have says that means more than half the work is already done.

First, you need to get very smart about what transgender is and isn't.  Susan's is a great place to start and to ask your bazillion questions.

Remember though, there is no universal right answer to what you have to do.  There is only what is right for YOU.  There are those who mostly transition and then turn back.  If that's what's right for them, then that's what's right for them.

The other thing is that you have plenty of time to do this right.  Don't feel you HAVE to push it.  It's kind of like the saying, "Wherever you go, there you are!"

Lastly, Transition doesn't cure life.  The sucky bits don't magically go away.  Your car still gets booted if you forget to feed the meter, and loss of male privilege actually makes life a bit harder.  The good that will come, if you truly need to transition, will be in how you are more congruent with both yourself and with society's expectations of its female members.

Welcome!

Karen

Quote from: Ellie on December 25, 2008, 07:00:43 PM
Well, about a year or so ago I was seriously considering coming out. I hated being male, I hated my male parts, and I really didn't get on with males as friends.

I've been cross dressing since my early childhood, among other things, but I won't go into all that right now.


Since a year ago, I've been way too busy with finishing up high school to really think about; I thought I'd best leave it, and see if it went away. Haha, famous last words, eh?

Well I'm now in my last year, and as a family we've just got settled after a period of stress and moving house and stuff. And just as we get it all out of the way, I'm starting to have the same feelings of gender dysphoria.

The problem is, I'm not sure whether it's the right decision, and whether now is the right time. I've already put it off a year or so, and I don't want to keep doing that, do I?

I shaved most of my body hair off the other day, and felt SO liberated and feminine. I haven't exactly shouted about the fact I've done it either, as I'm sure the parents would start asking questions, especially as I've dodged getting  my haircut for so long.

The thing is, the parents have said before that it's okay if I'm gay; in the past I've been depressed and they've hinted to me saying are you sure there's nothing you need to tell us, and I've always bit my tongue and said no.

But right now, the feeling is back in full swing, and I'm just immensely confused, and not sure how the parents will react. Any advice?



edit: removed clues to age - =K

Awwwww.... You sound exactly like ME at that age. D:

Poor thing... Well the question you need to ask yourself is if you think it will go away and how long you have had it. Also... What do you WANT? What do you want to be? If you've wanted to be a girl so long, and your parents seem slightly more supportive than at least fanatics, it might be best to come out to them soon.

As for the feeling coming and going, it does. We often forget the most painful things in our life cause we adapt and "live with it"

Unfortunately this never works cause then you just forget what continually saps away your potential. You forget what you ever wanted in the first place and complicate the more simple problem as time goes on, and it hurts more and more.

I'm not trying to scare you, but you sound like me at that age, and if I were you, I'd at least get a gender therapist assuming your parents are ok with it. It takes a lot of guts to come out to them, but I found the easiest way is a letter. Ask if you can go out somewhere, and call them, telling where the hidden letter is.

Tell them to open it, hang up and get a soda and breathe in and out. Make sure they don't know where you are in case something bad happens. Maybe a friends house. Most likely, they'll think its a suicide letter and be relieved (my mom was). But dont beat around the bush the day after you come out to them. Don't put it off cause that will make it suck, and they'll start BSing you. Just get them to promise you a gender therapist when you're crying together, or they are at a distance.


Then you will have an appointment lined up, and you wont have the crap I had to deal with.

Good luck!