Cindi,
This is a great story that I can fully relate to. I was raised as a Mormon. Baptized, attended church every week pretty much was even the scripture hound during my youth winning a few speed bowls I think they were called for hearing part of a scripture and knowing exactly where to find it. So I knew the bible and book of mormon like the back of my hand.
Anyway, my whole family is mormon. I was the first to shun it aside after I started to feel preassured to attend in high school by others who were members. I also started reading about other religions and always manged to remember one thing... nothing on this earth is perfect, it says so in the scriptures.
It was then I asked myself, if nothing is perfect, why do they seem to believe they are the only correct church...nobody seemed to admit they were the most correct, just the true church.
I fell away from the church because of this and started to investiage. Once I revealed to my family my desire to be who i really was in mind and body, they both (mom and dad) wanted me to talk to my uncle (Elder in the church) and the elders here where I live. I did, and my uncle was in shock how well I had thought everything out. The people who did not know me sat me down and talked to me. Every one of them said I would basically go to hell for my life. I would cock my head to the side and ask how they can judge me and say that when my lifestyle was born with me, not a choice I made or voted on.
Needless to say that was the last time I ever stepped foot in a mormon church and when the missionaries somehow found my address, I tried to be polite, but told them my house was closed to them.
It was hard because of my family and upbringing. I even wanted to be a missionary when I was younger, but now I am glad I did what I did.
I have discovered myself more than the church would of ever let me and I have found many religions appeal to me. I have a strong draw towards opposite spectriums though since I have given the Unatarian church here great consideration and respect and I plan to attend with my fiancee in the next two weeks (since they offer a range of services generally Christian, Wiccan or Buddist) and completely friendly to the alternate lives we lead..., but I still consider myself drawn to Occult Sciences which I can't explain in a few words, but no, I don't break the law or sacrifice or drink blood or anything... it's more like the American Indian way or belief where all spirits are neither good or bad, some just have a role to play that makes them appear darker. But thats a whole new forum and thread.
So I fully understand what you are saying and I will never forget being lectured on the how i am not allowed to drink caffienne. (Sorry about spelling). I brought a drink in for a friend and I get lectured on it... whew, guess I should not bring carbinated sin into churchs.
I am glad you found a new home and don't feel like you have to live the mormon life any longer. It's hard to transition with that belief, but once you do you see things so much better and still can hold respect for them having their beliefs. I still defend the church from those who don't know and slander them but I also don't go out of my way to say things nice about them. I think your choice was for the best and you will never regret it. If you start slipping and need another once long time mormon....CONTACT ME! I will do my best to help you regain your sanity
