If you accidentally had your male genitals destroyed could you still eventually feel any good sexual feelings down there or is that gone also?

It depends on the nature of the destruction.

If you lost your entire penis/scrotum/testicles, you would not be able to have the type of orgasm that is normally associated with male climax and ejaculation.  As Emme said, the nerves would be gone.

If, though, you still had your prostate, you could still experience a type of orgasm normally associated with female climax.  The male prostate and the female g-spot are quite similar as they evolve from the same tissue in the womb.

The sensate nerves in the prostate take a different pathway to the brain outside the spinal cord called the vegus nerves.  Males who have had spinal cord injuries and most post-operative MTF transsexuals can have these types of orgasms.  I know I do!

This is explained in greater detail at Dr. McGinn's website.  She is quite concerned that her patients have as full a post operative life as possible.  Here is her page regarding orgasm:
http://www.drchristinemcginn.com/monthlytopic/read.asp?id=1

I presume, Coolj, that these discussions are completely theoretical and you are not seriously contemplating any "accidents".  It is messy and painful!

-Sandy

Quote from: Kassandra on December 27, 2008, 09:22:23 AM.... you are not seriously contemplating any "accidents".  It is messy and painful!

In my teens, in the days before SRS, that was a very real possibility! I considered it many times but could not figure out how to do it without bleeding to death before someone found me and got me to the hospital. Yes, I was "seriously disturbed"!

Sounds like a dream situation to me.  Except for the ouchies.

I presume, Coolj, that these discussions are completely theoretical and you are not seriously contemplating any "accidents".  It is messy and painful!

This is completely theoretical. Yes I have been tempted to crush my jewels now and then and I love reading about over the counter "natural" hormones but I KNOW the only real way to go is therapy,hormones, and close supervision. So I'm basically eeffed. Darn

Feeling "good" down there in any way you are used to, may be a little difficult.......however....

Ther are a lot more ways to stimulation than the obvious bits, and most of the "internal" stuff, would in therory still be intact, which also has an effect.

Throw in the idea that if you cut off your fingers or toes you brain often thinks you still have them....sooooooo

I have absolutely no idea what would happen!

DON'T DO IT....    *faints*

Chrissty

Quote from: Vivian on December 27, 2008, 12:35:01 PM
Sounds like a dream situation to me.  Except for the ouchies.

I feel intense hatred towards it myself but my dream situation is SRS. Losing everything there, even without pain, sounds like a waste of good vagina-doh

Quote from: Chrissty on December 27, 2008, 03:14:56 PM
Feeling "good" down there in any way you are used to, may be a little difficult.......however....

Ther are a lot more ways to stimulation than the obvious bits, and most of the "internal" stuff, would in therory still be intact, which also has an effect.

Throw in the idea that if you cut off your fingers or toes you brain often thinks you still have them....sooooooo

I have absolutely no idea what would happen!

DON'T DO IT....    *faints*

Chrissty

Ya know its funny most of the time I sort of never feel it(the wenie) but when I see it or feel it I feel pretty gross. And I've always been soooo envious when my wife has multiple o's. If it were up to mind over matter I would be me on the outside already.

Once it is gone, it is gone forever. No putting it back ever. As much as you may envy another woman's vagina, and hope for your own someday, remember this, it is still an inside out penis stationed in a hollow cavity that was created by a skilled surgeon. An excellent surgeon will be able to save all the tip end nerves, and create a non-clitoris that can give you some rewards and pleasures.

A vagina is but only a small part of feeling and being the female sprite flirting around inside of you. My surgery was faced with trepidations and second guesses. ( I had been severely damaged in that region years before )   The results was the last master stroke of an artist who completed my cross over into full womanhood as it would be. Today, I can hardly remember having something else down there.  Yet, I am fully aware, that mine is not that of a genetic female. The feelings I can get while having intercourse with my husband, greatly depends on my emotions and desires at the time. The only thing I am able to do that mirrors that of a god given vagina, is to self lubricate,( via an uncommon type of SRS ) and have reoccurring orgasms one after the other. I never had anything close to this as a pre-op...I am told I am lucky...

When I think about what has been done to me to get to this point, it still makes me weak in the knees.  I am happier now than I have ever been, yet, it still scares the beejeezus out me, when I think about what you and every one else will have to suffer, to acquire what so many think is the end all, be all...at the end of the line. 

Don't ever think or consider SRS lightly hon, because there are no guarantees of what the results will be. 

Quote from: Rene' aka candygirl on December 27, 2008, 09:15:01 PM
Once it is gone, it is gone forever. No putting it back ever. As much as you may envy another woman's vagina, and hope for your own someday, remember this, it is still an inside out penis stationed in a hollow cavity that was created by a skilled surgeon. An excellent surgeon will be able to save all the tip end nerves, and create a non-clitoris that can give you some rewards and pleasures.

A vagina is but only a small part of feeling and being the female sprite flirting around inside of you. My surgery was faced with trepidations and second guesses. ( I had been severely damaged in that region years before )   The results was the last master stroke of an artist who completed my cross over into full womanhood as it would be. Today, I can hardly remember having something else down there.  Yet, I am fully aware, that mine is not that of a genetic female. The feelings I can get while having intercourse with my husband, greatly depends on my emotions and desires at the time. The only thing I am able to do that mirrors that of a god given vagina, is to self lubricate,( via an uncommon type of SRS ) and have reoccurring orgasms one after the other. I never had anything close to this as a pre-op...I am told I am lucky...

When I think about what has been done to me to get to this point, it still makes me weak in the knees.  I am happier now than I have ever been, yet, it still scares the beejeezus out me, when I think about what you and every one else will have to suffer, to acquire what so many think is the end all, be all...at the end of the line. 

Don't ever think or consider SRS lightly hon, because there are no guarantees of what the results will be.

CoolJ---
My problem isnt what I'd have to go through. I know if I could match my body with my mind I would be happy. Just the thought of trying makes me estatic! But my situation is set for the moment and I am selflessly putting my family first. I would give anything except my family to transition. I'm hoping in time my wife will change her position for my sake but alas I think this is just wishful thinking. Funny thing is I have noticed that my o's are changing almost to the point of having 3 multiples without rest. Its almost too much. At least I'm getting some results from mind over matter!

CoolJ:


Where so many trans-gendered MtF's error in their judgment, is if they are married, and have children, that the union is somehow going to last or weather a gender-storm. The chances of that actually happening, are slim to none, or very remote. There are some who can pull it off, but not very many.

Your wife was attracted to this particular "MALE" guy, whom she fell in love with, and wanted to be with. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have married him, and certainly wouldn't have considered having children by him, if she felt that she couldn't trust his mental stability.

The longer the marriage, the worse it will be. Why? Because you'll have a longer established history together, and everything that was a constant in her beliefs, is being ripped apart, by something she never expected in a million years. Even if HE told her in the very beginning, that he had affinities and needs to act or dress like a female, she still felt that she would be the center of your universe. She wants to be your anchor, and reason for being a faithful man to her. Now she is facing a usurper, an intruder, into her life, as well as her guy that she has loved and invested so much of her heart and soul into, disappearing before her eye's.  Most women that face this; " I want to be a woman too", crisis's, will feel a deep betrayal and loss...

Way to many TS's think that the wife will learn to roll with it, if she really loves him. The would be a huge error in judgment...
You have to realize that you are taking away the very foundation of her world. Her trust, faith, love, honor, respect, will be trashed
because her husband, is going to kill off the man she married. The loss of the children's father, because of your decision to go forward with everything associated with transition and SRS, is beyond unfathomable to her. "How could you do such a thing to her, and them?", is what she will be primarily thinking.

Even if you can manage to hang onto her and the kids while you begin your journey, she'll be grieving the loss of her husband.
Likely as not, it will be more than she can bear, and she'll want to move on..and start fresh with a true man...

These words can sting, and you may say to yourself; "Well that isn't going to happen to me!"  Well; you had better brace yourself for this, for in all actuality, it will. You should not hold any animosities towards her either, if she does drop the divorce bomb on you.

Her reaction would be a normal one, to any marital situation such as this...

Hi Rene, and thanks for your insight. Your right she wont ever accept me as a woman so I'll probably never be able to transition at all. This thought really stinks but if it will help my girls than so be it. My wife will not leave me as I have already given her that option and your right I totally understand where she's coming from. I put myself in her shoes and if she wanted to become a man I'd be horrified! Of course I'd still love her though.We still do have a really great marraige despite everything and since I came to accept who I really am inside I'm actually more of the "perfect man" to her because I dont have to play the pretend role. So what I'm saying is she had it really good and now she has it even better. She still wont let me wash though. My only delema is fighting off my seemingly unquenchable desire to be the real me through and through. maybe a miracle will happen as I've seen others on this board with wives who have stayed with them through transition. Thats my hope. And yes I know it probably wont happen but at least I can hope. I may seem inocent and naive which is still really a trademark with my life still but unfortunatly I've had to deal with one tradgedy after another being thrown into situations I didnt want to be in. My lifes been one huge wheel of pain training session, I've already suffered terrible loss and I've overcome everything thats been thrown at me so far so this trial I'm going through wont be the first and if I live long enough I'm sure it wont be the last.(actually this trials been affecting me my whole life) But I'm still thankful and I'm still going-and I have proved that a good woman can do just about anything a man can do-and thats not knocking men either. So I'm going to take this situation and make the best of it and keep being myself! Well theres my rant, I really hope I havent offended anyone! Peace and God bless all you sisters out there on your journey!

Quote from: coolJ on December 31, 2008, 06:53:44 AM
Well theres my rant, I really hope I havent offended anyone! Peace and God bless all you sisters out there on your journey!

I think the word "moved" rather than "offended" would better represent my feelings about your post.....



Chrissty

Coolj:

At the very minimum, I would recommend that you get into therapy and discuss your gender issues.  Classic transsexuality manifests itself as an overwhelming desire to switch.  And not switching causes severe depression.  You may be able to put it off for decades as others here have, but you may find yourself faced with suicidal thoughts and actions because you are trying to be selfless.

If you have discussed this with your wife, then perhaps both of you can go to therapy to help find a compromise or solution.  But to be honest, as far as I have seen, 9 out of 10 marriages dissolve because one of the spouses changed their gender.  Be prepared for that.

It doesn't mean that you might not keep her as a friend, but she may want to have a fulfilling relationship with a man, and not become a lesbian.

Your children may have some difficulty accepting your change, but keep in mind that you will never stop being their father.  That will never change.  My kids still call me dad and that's all right.  I can never be their mother because I did not give birth to them, and I would never presume to take that honor away from their mother.  My love for my children, though, is unshakable.  And they know that.  If you do the same it should be all right.

Not many can accept this blessing inside a curse.  It is a hard road.  May Goddess walk with you.

-Sandy

At the very minimum, I would recommend that you get into therapy and discuss your gender issues.  Classic transsexuality manifests itself as an overwhelming desire to switch.  And not switching causes severe depression.  You may be able to put it off for decades as others here have, but you may find yourself faced with suicidal thoughts and actions because you are trying to be selfless.

---

Hi Kassandra, I'm seeing a phsycologist and she is helping both my wife and I and shes prescribed depression medication which actually does keep me pretty upbeat. But no she is not a gender therapist although she is quite simpathetic and understanding and yes I've actually been suicidal for decades now-only I didnt realize it. An exsample would be when a guy who wanted to fight me and knew he would lose went in his truck pulled out a 44 and walked up to me and fired point blank at my foot. He missed and I didnt even flinch  -my idiot response was "go ahead shoot me coward". He then left without incident.I was 20 at the time. Unfortunately this is one of many such stupid events most of which I could have avoided. The good news is I've stuck my neck out for friends and family without having to go to the hospital and in every fight I've been in I showed mercy and let them go. I've seen dear loved ones wither away in hospitals and I could do nothing to save them no matter how hard I tried. I've been stabbed in the back by family members who I still love to this day and during the course of my work I've been smashed by falling trees, had my fingers shot through with a nail gun, and accidentaly smashed in the nose with a sledge hammer to name some of my mishaps. So yeah for the first time in my life I'm seeing a therapist and taking an ssr pill.
Since my Mom died I've really been soul searching and when I realised I was a woman inside and accepted it yes I have an overwhelming desire to correct my body but I cant do that to my wife cause it would just kill her. So yup I'm in deep dodooo ! I take every day at a time and I just deal with it for the sake of my family. My Mom always said there's a reason for everything so why now I cant suppress my desire to be phsically a woman
I'll never know!

Quote from: coolJ on January 01, 2009, 01:38:24 PM
My Mom always said there's a reason for everything so why now I cant suppress my desire to be phsically a woman
I'll never know!

You have probably been suppressing the desire for quite a long time now.  But with every great life change (like the passing of a parent) we re-examine our own lives.  This may be the source of your current issues.

You've said that if you transition it would kill your wife.  Have you discussed this with her?  Is there a position where you can still become more feminine in either appearance or actions or part time cross dressing where you can have some relief or cope with your issues?  For example, I carried a man bag purse and did other things for a number of years to help me cope with my stress.

Also seeing a gender therapist would help you discover if you have Gender Identity Disorder.  Your current therapist, while sympathetic, may not completely understand the issues of having GID.  You might discuss that aspect with her and see if she can recommend someone.

It also sounds like you are trying to overcompensate your masculinity to mask your underlying feminine nature.  This is not unusual either.  Many MTF's engage in risky or hyper masculine activities to prove to the world that they are really men and to drive their feminine side away.  This too is a coping skill, though please be careful.

When I talk about compromise, unfortunately, it is like trying to compromise about pregnancy.  You either are or you aren't.  If you are, birth is inevitable.  If you do consider yourself a transsexual, you may be able to compromise such things as time frames and discuss next steps with your wife, but you cannot compromise the ultimate outcome.

Do realize that nearly everyone that does transition sees the world with a wonder they never thought possible.  And they feel a joy that is overwhelming.  This is what may lie ahead for you.  For the first time in your life you will feel *normal*.

-Sandy(and what a wonderful feeling that is!)

Quote from: Kassandra on January 01, 2009, 04:59:12 PM

Quote from: coolJ on January 01, 2009, 01:38:24 PM
My Mom always said there's a reason for everything so why now I cant suppress my desire to be phsically a woman
I'll never know!

You have probably been suppressing the desire for quite a long time now.  But with every great life change (like the passing of a parent) we re-examine our own lives.  This may be the source of your current issues.

You've said that if you transition it would kill your wife.  Have you discussed this with her?  Is there a position where you can still become more feminine in either appearance or actions or part time cross dressing where you can have some relief or cope with your issues?  For example, I carried a man bag purse and did other things for a number of years to help me cope with my stress.

Also seeing a gender therapist would help you discover if you have Gender Identity Disorder.  Your current therapist, while sympathetic, may not completely understand the issues of having GID.  You might discuss that aspect with her and see if she can recommend someone.

It also sounds like you are trying to overcompensate your masculinity to mask your underlying feminine nature.  This is not unusual either.  Many MTF's engage in risky or hyper masculine activities to prove to the world that they are really men and to drive their feminine side away.  This too is a coping skill, though please be careful.

When I talk about compromise, unfortunately, it is like trying to compromise about pregnancy.  You either are or you aren't.  If you are, birth is inevitable.  If you do consider yourself a transsexual, you may be able to compromise such things as time frames and discuss next steps with your wife, but you cannot compromise the ultimate outcome.

Do realize that nearly everyone that does transition sees the world with a wonder they never thought possible.  And they feel a joy that is overwhelming.  This is what may lie ahead for you.  For the first time in your life you will feel *normal*.

-Sandy(and what a wonderful feeling that is!)

Ok, first off thanks for your insight- your 100% right on. I have been since age 4. This is when I was caught putting on my cousins dress! This was the only time in 38 years I was caught. I was told I'm a boy and made to feel ashamed of what I did! At age 12 I didnt want to get bullied anymore so I started lifting. At age 13 I beat the bullies and got acceptance through physical prowess. It was then that I made the "choice" to try and be a man. So I did and both my parents died extremely proud of me the success story of my family! They were the best parents a person could have!!God I miss them!

As far as discussions I've had them all and the only compromise my wife will allow is me coming on this site!   And yes I am a transexxual and do have GID. My therapist is trying to get me help aswell!

As far as overcompensating I've had no rest my entire life with this- always pushing beyond my limits to prove i'm a real man because I was afraid of people hating me and thinking I was sinning against God. Now I just dont care what people think because I am free, truely free! And I dont believe being born a womans brain in a male body is a sin- I didnt ask for this and up until this point I've been pretty selfless. Although I do feel that if there are past lives I must have been a bad person to be getting beat up so much in this one despite all my so called accomplishments. Thats another thing, no matter how much I achieved it was never enough to prove my "manhood" to me.

And yep I really, really want to be a real woman 100% on the outside like I am on the inside but I just cant hurt my wife like that. I would be willing to secretly transition behind the scenes as it were for years untill my girls were older but my wife says she wont accept that and begs me not to leave her. She knows I will become a real woman if she lets me and that terrifies and repulses her. God just the thought of becoming me- the freedom of being myself is intoxicating I'm so happy for you and the other girls who have become there real selves and I pray for those who cant for whatever reason. Its funny I've never been caught and noones ever seen through my mask in over 30 years-this has got to be a record! Nope I cant believe what a fake I've been, what a joke, no matter what I've accomplished its all just never satisfying :' ( I really hope I can survive this because it seems I may have finally met my end. But dont worry I dont intend going down without a fight and giving up is just not a part of me! Hopefully my wife will see she fell in love with the real me and not just my image.

Oh and I just want to say that you are all lovely people here and have helped me tremendously on my journey. Thanks,peace, and rock on!!

Dear CoolJ

I went the same road but differently (sorry if that's an oxymoron). I was always small, always feminine, I was the boy that my M&D wanted out of two other girls.
I'm from
An Irish catholic family in Liverpool UK. No gays, no trans, boys and girls and you damn well new your place.

Many of us have lived your life from both sides. A big man proving he is a big man, a small man proving he is a man,

Makes no bloody difference. I am, my genetic make up. I am female. So are you? Your choice. We will all understand such a terrible quandry.

I don't believe in gods, so I do not pray.
But I hope you well

Coolj:

I wish you all the best, hon.

Things take time.  Having open and honest communication with your wife may help her to understand that you haven't changed, just the window dressing.  Though if you stop all the hyper-masculine overcompensation she may feel that she has lost part of you.

It's good to know that she agrees with you to come here.  It is a good first step.  Also, please invite her to come here as well.  There is a "Significant Other" section of the forums which is strictly for the S/O's where they can discuss their feelings as well and perhaps gain some insight from others who have gone down the same path.

Her fear of you becoming a woman if she lets you is a little misstated.  You are already a woman and are yearning to become that same woman on the outside.  She can try to prevent you from transitioning, but that may destroy the relationship.  Having an open and honest dialog may help.  But both of you must commit to the dialog and to each other.

You sound like you are committed to your wife, but is she committed to you?  You are willing to put your issues on hold for her.  But is she willing to face her fears about you?

Please, know, I have no insight to either of you and I really don't want you to think that I feel she is a bad person.  I really don't think she is.  Perhaps the two of you should go to therapy and seek answers there.

There is no more difficult thing a human can do in society than change their gender.  My hopes and prayers go with both of you.

-Sandy