As for why some of those who are here who are pissing and moaning why they are not happy with their lives after transition? Well I believe that a lot of them never really planed or thought out ahead of time what they were going to do once they got there. Some are not prepared to not only live as women, but be as women, to think like women, feel like women, act like women, follow the roll of women 100% of the time.
And also unfortunately it is not anticipated that there was still a lot more growing up to do as women after the surgery. You don't graduate after surgery, there is still much more to learn. It is a never ending learning curve, even for GG's who have grown up, matured then aged into their own genetic gender or sexual identity, which they have lived as all their lives.
We on the other hand have only just begun at (insert age). I believe that there should not only just be gender therapists whom only deal with the psychological, which is fine, but I have often wondered if there shouldn't also be some type of refinement or training school that could teach young ladies how to be young ladies available for trans folks as well. I believe there is such a place in California.
If there aren't such refinement schools there should be time spent in your own home in training yourself, I did. Preparation is about 80% of a successful transitioning to the prepared to live and fully function as a female after transitioning
Then there are a good many M-F still living with a spouse, where transitioning is literally tearing both parties apart inside out. This is an unfortunate circumstance, because I truly sympathise for both parties.
The SO as far as she knew signed the marriage contract believing she was marrying a man. Then the man discovers he is not a man but is a woman inside and wishes and desires to express her inner most feelings to the SO. See the shock and conflict on both sides here? The TS who still loves her wife and is unwilling to let go and the wife will sacrifice her desires and repress them but that will not last long.
The SO on the other hand hopes and prays it's just a passing thing that will go away with time. So then you have this tug of war, Our TS friend fighting to chose between the desire to be the woman who resides within or her, and her SO. So the tug of war continues until good old GID steps in and the rope breaks and our TS friend either decides to take free flying lessons off a cliff, or eventually the struggle becoming intolerable gives into what has been driving her relentlessly for a good many years .
Work, Oh yes that wonderful but illusive word. **Gainful employment.** In some cases TS folks end up working the streets because it is next to impossible to obtain gainful employment after starting full time transitioning. Again this can possibly be worked out with good good head start at planing your work career before beginning transition.
There are many other reasons for the pissing and moaning you hear in these rooms which among them I could almost swear that some are only here to stire the poo poo pot for the others and then the wanna bee's and some who I suspect are just cisgendered people come here to have sport with us. Not pointing any fingers at anyone in particular and I pray that I am wrong. I will not sit back and wear a judges robes and start judging folks, not my job. There are enough of them doing that to themselves already.
Anyway, Even with all the odds stacked against us it is still possible to find happiness in living, thriving, and not just existing.
Cindy
