As I'm on the count down for name change in Feb, I find myself thinking not so much about passing, no thats not quite right either, this confuses me. I feel I pass in public well enough or I have just learned to ignore other people and go about my business that I dont see reactions. Im sure that if I wanted to, I could make everone that looked at me into a "clocker" with my imagination. Most times that I have looked back at at person that I thought was looking at after a second or so they werent payng anymore attention and were going about their business.

My concern is what I am going to go through with my work situation. I work at a very large Medical Ctr. that has several hundred employees. My position has me in contact with almost all of them at one time or the other in addition to the thousands of patients. I CAN"T HIDE or even think about being stealth as Ive been there for over 25 years and virtually all know me. I am in a position where I could retire but I need the job to offset some of my transition cost and with the economy as it is I will be working longer than I wanted to. My lifelong GID and suffering makes it impossible for me to turn back, nor would I want that.

The current position of HR is that they will work with me to make my transition a smooth as possible. The problem is that I will never be allowed to pass except perhaps with a few new hires that will no doubt be told of my trans being anyway. It really leaves me with few options, other than to just hold my head as high as  I can or make my self a trans activist  of sorts which I dont relish at all. I really just prefer to be Wendy, just another woman. HELP! Hugs

Wendy

Hi, Wendy. I, too work for a large health system and am pretty well known. No stealth option. It worked out fine. Better than fine. Talk to your supervisor, key coworkers, and HR. Chances are, they've seen it before. If not, tell them that you can get them templates to use. HRC or NCTE are good places to start, if you need more, let me know. Most medical centers are pretty good places to transition, being more accepting than most.
Namaste, Lunae

Quote from: Wendy C on January 05, 2009, 10:36:43 AM
I really just prefer to be Wendy, just another woman. HELP! Hugs
Wendy

Ok, first ***HUGS!!!***

Next, you already are Wendy, just another woman! (*ever so slight bitch slapping followed by more hugs*)

How people will see you depends almost entirely on how you see yourself!  If you "keep your head high" and walk proudly, no one will care how you were born, but will see that now you are truly yourself and happy!

Yes, you'll be "Wendy who used to be that guy..." but after a few weeks/months you'll just be old news.  Keep doing your job, and do it well and most people won't care if you come in painted blue to celebrate your Druidic heritage.

You don't need to be a trans activist if you don't want to.  Just be yourself, Wendy, and people will see that and carry on.

-Sandy(Been there, Done that, got the t-shirt)

Wendy, I have to agree with Lunae and Sandy, you'll be fine.  Working in a medical center, odds are that they have seen this before, and if they haven't, I would suspect that anyone in that field has to have compassion and understanding for the human condition, especially in a hospital where life and death are common occurrences.  Odds are nobody will say anything, and if they do I'm sure it'll pass in a few weeks/months like Sandy said.  Just hold your head up high and be Wendy, and everyone will see that and accept it.

You'll be the talk of the workplace for a couple of weeks, then people will get bored with it and move on. As time passes, they'll forget it was even an issue - they'll even forget your old name. After a couple of years, you'll just be Wendy, the person who does job X.
No one will care.

Quote from: Wendy C on January 05, 2009, 10:36:43 AM
few options, other than to just hold my head as high as  I can or make my self a trans activist  of sorts which I dont relish at all. I really just prefer to be Wendy, just another woman. HELP! Hugs

Wendy

Hiya Wendy.  I was in the very same situation, and still am, but it has changed.  I'm older, couldn't move on, and everyone knew, in a large workplace with constant daily interaction.
I held my head high, and became a Bev activist.  After almost 2 years, Only a handful of bigots, but they leave me alone, and lots of supporters.  New hires don't know, and the novelty has worn off with the old employees, and they don't even bother sharing the 'juicy news' with newbies any longer.  I've been absorbed into the workplace culture.

Wish all the best, girl.

Hugs,
Bev

Quote from: Vexing on January 05, 2009, 01:49:48 PM
You'll be the talk of the workplace for a couple of weeks, then people will get bored with it and move on. As time passes, they'll forget it was even an issue - they'll even forget your old name. After a couple of years, you'll just be Wendy, the person who does job X.
No one will care.

Indeed. Save for the one or two people you may find who will always look at you sideways, making it past the first months will be the most challenging. Focus on looking passable and happy, people will eventually adapt and forget. If they don't see a trainwreck they won't stop so don't give them reason to.
It seems the medical profession is much more aware to us than it used to. As a patient, I had to go into emergency appendix surgery not too long ago and despite being preop and my name not being changed, I was treated as a female and placed in the female wing.

Congratulations, by the way!

Hi Wendy,

I agree with everyone above. I too transitioned at my place of employment, which by the way is 99% male and has generally been regarded as a male job. I think out of 400 or so of us nationwide there is maybe 3 or 4 women including myself. But even in that kind of enviroment the novelty wore off rather quickly and I just went on and did my job. I have since moved (transfering with the same company) to a different part of the country and now only a couple of people know at all.
So I wouldn't worry as the dust should settle very quickly in your case.

Also, congradulations on everything. I remember when my name change came through and I went to work the very next day and from then on as Rachel, it was a very exciting time, I was on cloud nine for the next couple of months. It seemed to be one of the most significant points in transition
at least to me, even becoming post -op didn't seem to have the impact that going full time did.

Anyway "no worries"

Rachel


 

I am also transitioning on the job.  And most of the employees have forgot my old male self, save a couple.  Some have even said that they don't remember him.  I am just Janet at work.

As for the customers, they don't really count because they are in contact with me for a few minutes at most and then they are gone.  There is one T-girl, not never passable but she is happy, that comes in.  She has been told about me by a friend who was trying to help her, I think.  But she has never said anything to me, so I must be doing something right.

And if I am 'clocked', a smile will end it, quickly.

Congrats, by the way.

Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on January 06, 2009, 11:45:14 AM
have even said that they don't remember him.  I am just Janet at work.

As for the customers

Janet

Just as others here, many people have a hard time remembering "Mike", and a few that do have said that Bev is way cooler, and now they know why "Mike" was so unhappy looking much of the time.
As for customers......they don't know.
Don't get me wrong, it's still a pain in the ass workplace in general, and though I've been home sick the last 6 days, I'm NOT happy about going back, just glad to kick this pneumonia.  At least work won't kill me.



Back-to-work-tomorrow Bev

I thank all of you for your concern and information that you have given me. It is heartening and makes me feel a little more secure. I do feel I am ready for this next big step and I have to admit it is exciting but a little scarey. I have started a draft of my letter to HR and will have to get that in motion soon as Feb 11 will roll around quickly.

Sandy will you quit slapping me around, we only just met, lol. Oh but the hugs are nice though.

And Bev, I hope you are feeling better, please take care of yourself Hon.

And to the rest of you girls, love and hugs.

Wendy