Hi, I have seen this link for a long time and I am finally getting around to saying hello

I knew I was transsexual since I was 3, but after being punished and convinced by my mother I went into the closet until I was 23. I was raised to believe I was wrong and sinful in a fundamentalist church. At 23 I had my own job and place to live so I went to a therapist (easy to find, I lived in Hollywood). It was very quickly after that that I got my hormones started and only a few months later that I went full time.
My direct supervisor went with me to the president of the company and we showed hm a letter from my therapist explaining I was going full time the next day. He basically said OK we need you so do what you have to. I was a software engineer in a small company.
From there things were great, I dated and got along in my life fine. I met a lesbian who thought I was OK and we dated for six months. After that my company lost a major contract and I was laid off. Christie asked me to move in with her, which I was thrilled about.
There was a major problem with the relationship, she was controlling and abusive. She also did not want it getting out to her job that we were together (she was a kindergarten teacher). She thought it would be more convienient if I transitioned back and we got married. She manipulated me into doing this.
After getting sick of being beated daily I left her and transitioned again. I restarted school since I could not find a job, but was not capable of finishing the school (I am severely bipolar). Right in that time period I got my 401k from my previous job and arranged to have my operation. But a pastor convinced me they could help me and "cure" me. I transitioned back and married a woman in the church (note a pattern). This would be the worste mistake of my life. We were together for 15 years before she committed suicide. Now it is 5 years later and I am 2 1/2 years into my real life test. NEVER AGAIN! I will live my life for me.
My current schedule has me paying off my house in 5 years and taking out a home equity loan to pay for my operation. Which I will then have. I will finally have a body I am comfortable in.

wow, what a roller coaster! you should seriously consider writing a book to sell that story. hollywood would love it (but I think they would turn it into a comedy).

welcome to susan's

Quote from: eliza beth on January 08, 2009, 08:49:03 PM
wow, what a roller coaster! you should seriously consider writing a book to sell that story. hollywood would love it (but I think they would turn it into a comedy).

welcome to susan's

I would consider writing my story since everyone says I should, the problem is that if I really start to include enough details to pad it out into a book my family would sue me. They rejected me when I came out (and now deny that) but they have asked that I change my name - I have lost my birthname. They do not want to be associated with me so they requested that I change my last name. In order to tell my full story I would become fully traceable and they would be very angry. I tried to just exchange christmas cards and was refused family addresses. I have also been told to avoid any cousins and such.

As I mentioned before, we all have our roller coasters to ride. This ol' death rocker has riddin' many myself. I'm not sure what's more fun. The suspense of going up or the thrill of going down. The clickitty clack of the tracks never seems to take a break for long. Welcome Aboard