Hi All,

Wondering if any that have been through work transition would care to post stories up of their successes and caveats to avoid?  This is not a request for how-to, those wiki's and guides are out there and easily found.  This is more a request for sharing, to hear real stories (hopefully successful)  of transition in the workplace if anyone would care to share.

Imagining that first day for me, walking into work, the same workplace I've been a part of for 10 years, which will occur in 57 days, regularly leaves me with night sweats and insomnia.  My mind is cruel and relentless in conjuring up every bad scenario that could happen.  Despite the fact that I know I have the force of law behind me, and am respected and liked in my workplace, I keep having this gnawing feeling that it will all come crashing down.   Perhaps hearing some other trans folks stories of transitioning at work would help me (and others) that read them? 

*huggs*,
Melan

Hi Melan,

I have been with the same company for 8 years now.  And only just recently I transitioned on the job, 4 months ago.  I legally changed my name two weeks prior.  And had given a transition package to my employer about a month prior to my coming out. 

I went on vacation on September 13 and the male was never seen again.  I had a letter to the employees posted in the break room when I left.  It explained what I was going to do ( come to work as Janet ), and that I was under medical supervision.  I also briefly gave a explanation of GID.

I went to work one week later.  On September 20, 2008, I entered work as Janet.  I was scared to death and did not know what to except.  But I went with the attitude that this is who I am and except for a very few people there, I am Janet.  The ones that don't have anything to do with me aren't of any concern.  They will sometime have to talk to me, because of business, but I don't go out of my way to be overly friendly with them.  There is only one that does not call me by female pronouns, and has called me by my male name only once.  I will have a talk with him, when and if I get around to it or if it becomes a matter of it has cause extreme distress.  But I don't see him that often and I usually ignore him.

All the customers I deal with treat me as a woman, and a couple have even flirted, harmlessly.  There has never been any backlash from customers.  And knowing my employer, they would back me up and tell the customer to leave and not return. 

I am one of the fortunate ones in that, so far my transition is going along quite well.  I go were I want and when I want.  I have never had any negative comments or reactions.  If I am "clocked", so what!  I am happy with my life.  School not so much, I get very frustrated with law.  But I am changing majors, to something more to my liking and past training.

Transition can be done on the job.  It does take planning and determination.  I am a woman, always was and always will be.  This is what helps me to go thru life with a positive attitude.  One only needs to accept ones self and go forth.  Society can just get over itself.  I am here to stay and I will not ever go back to a life of misery and mental pain.

Forever and always,
Janet

Hi Melan 

I transitioned on the job, and am still there.  My situation there is very comfortable, now, and I am almost universally considered female by my coworkers, am called by my female name, and female pronouns.

I will not sugar-coat this for you.

For 3/4 of a year, I was a pariah.
My first year was a trek through hell, where I learned to lose all my friends, but find new ones.

I learned to let go of all my Christian friends and pastor of our church, where my wife/partner and I were shunned by all.  We learned it was a necessary heartbreak, that would drive us into a wonderful Christian congregation in another church, accepted as a same-sex couple.

I learned more, the depth and scope of the love my wife has for me, and my family has for me.  Unlike others here, I have no one in my family or extended family that abandoned me, but grew closer yet.

This is a thumbnail sketch, at best. 
You may email me at any time, if you would like more detail, or just a listener.

I wish you a safe, pleasant, and successful transition.



Bev

i transitioned at work four years ago, in fact the article in our Wiki "Transitioning in the Workplace" is based on my successful transition, so i shall defer to it

i know i took the easy way out.

steph

Take into serious consideration the field you work in.  If you are in a male dominated occupation be very careful and go with your gut feeling, no matter what anyone tells you.

I worked in construction.  I found myself elevated to what I call the Golden Child level.  No matter what I did they loved.  They had a zero tolerance policy that said if state or local law provides you protection so will the company.  (Note: if the company requires legislation to be human, look out!)

HR was totally supportive and in fact encouraged me to come out despite my fears and concerns.  They reassured me I had nothing to worry about.

It took a week before the discrimination began.  I went on medical leave and came back to no job.  I pleaded with them and reminded them of state and federal laws.  They said the laws did not apply to my case. (TOTAL BS!)

I ended up retiring after they stuffed me into a corner working for someone who had a fraction of the experience and capabilities I did.

I ended up filing a complaint with the Department of Human Rights.  Most likely it will end up in filing suit.

Be very careful if you work in a male dominated environment!

Julie

I transitioned at work after 18 years with the same company.

I had a wonderful HR Manager, who I still keep in touch with and she really helped plan and organize with myself everything that happened at work.

We also employed a specialist in work place transition, who worked with the Senior Management Team and provided counselloring for anyone who wanted this after I came out.

I initially told me boss and along with the HR Manager worked with the Corporate function to put plans and a change the discrimination and other policies in place (including changing the employee handbook to incoporate the relevant UK Law).

I came out to the Senior Management team about 2 weeks later and discussed my plans and also fears with them, their response was quite overwhelming and positive.

Two weeks later, I stood up in front of 400 people at a meeting and read out a prepared statement regarding my transition, this was 3 days before I planned to leave work for FFS. At the same time the HR Department sent the same statement from me to all employees within the company, along with a copy of the new hand book and revised discrimination policy.

We also sent a letter to all the business contacts I had and dealt with on a regular basis, outlining that when I returned to work in 4 weeks time I would be known as Rebecca. The HR Department also prepared a press release (which was never required) to send to the local paper, if this became an issue.

After the meeting, the counsellor the Company had employed held a discussion meeting with the site women (28 out of 1,200 employees where Female) to discuss toilets, etc. During the 4 weeks I was away she saw over 100 people who wanted to talk about my transition and what it would mean.

Before I left, I had many people (both in person, letter, e-mail and phone calls) wish me well and wanted to ensure me I would have their full support.

I left work on a Thursday Lunchtime, went to a solicitors and did my name change before going off for FFS. During my time off the HR Department / Company changed all my records, computer log in, business details and even my work clothes etc into my new name. The HR Manager visited me several times at home with an update and to see how I was.

4 weeks later I got dressed to go to work for the first time. I cried, I cried a lot both with joy, fear and apprehension. I almost decided that the day was going to be a nightmare and decided to phone in sick! As I drove to work, I tried to imagine the horrors that would await me, this was really me at my paranoid best.

As I drove into the car park, the HR Manager was waiting for me, she came over and just simply said "Good morning, Rebecca!" and my heart lifted beyond belief. She walked with me to my office and when I got there a number of the girls where waiting for me. They had a bunch of Flowers and wanted to take me and show me around the ladies rest room (which was really cool of them) and they also took me to lunch.

Was everything smooth and easy with the work place transition?, well not really, there are always a number of small minded idiots who try and make life a misery due to their own predujices. I had some people refuse to use my new name, people leave voice mail messages of abuse and some people send me hate mail.

But we dealt with this, two people where disciplined and one eventually dismissed for their failure to follow company policy and rules. Fortunately the UK has very strong anti disctrimination legislation which covers work place gender reassignment and discrimination.

As for my company I cannot fault their support, they gave me every Monday morning off for electrolysis, never once complained about time off for medical stuff (including SRS) or speech therapy and rewrote their own internal policies and procedures to help me.

I never had an issue with any of the people I dealt with from outside of the work place, everyone treated me with respect and dignity.

Two years further down from the transition, I was offered the chance to seek employment elsewhere (this was about 3 months after SRS) due to plant closure and reorganization. After 20 years with the same company this was a move into the unknown but it gave me a chance to move on, enable stealth and the chance to build up my own business. It seems strange 8 years on that that defining moment really shaped who I am now.

Rebecca

Quote from: Julie Marie on January 18, 2009, 10:39:59 PM
Take into serious consideration the field you work in.  If you are in a male dominated occupation be very careful and go with your gut feeling, no matter what anyone tells you.


Be very careful if you work in a male dominated environment!

Julie

Hi Julie,  I'm so sorry to hear your story.  That just added another layer of torment to my nightmares lol...  jk.  I also work in a male-dominated field (supply chain), with about 600 men and 50 women at the plant I work at.  However, not transitioning is not a choice for me.   I'm already working with our HR (the VP finds out this week).   Sigh, It's a leap of faith, but I have to do it.   I wish you the best of luck Julie in your retirement, and the case against your company, *huggs*.

Thanks to everyone for your stories, Janet, Bev, Steph (yes, i'll have to go read the wiki now *giggles*), and Rebecca.  It's a crap shoot, I hope that someday when this topic comes up again, I can post in the "plus" column, having a positive, or at least successful work transition!

*huggs*,
Melan

I also did it on the job. In forging plant industrai electrician where
Most were good ol boys (va).  But found no problems
(don't be thin skined) I found being honest and educating
Workers really helped it stopped the rumors cold. 1year
Later and still here just my quick story.  Good luck

Bethany

Most were good ol boys (va).  But found no problems (don't be thin skined)
I imagine that's true with them guys, trans or not.  If you not getting crap, your not working with them.

I came out back in October to management; in November they posted the announcement.  And for the most part it has been a total non-issue, with only now the occasional pronoun slip-up.  If anyone doesn't like it they haven't said anything to me personally.  Most have been vocally supportive.

Jay