That was a good one.

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 08:25:51 AM

Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 15, 2009, 07:43:05 AM
Its like the second I get into a social situation with more than one, even the geeky ones, I'm instantly almost disregarded... I'm starting to think people only hang out with me because they pity me or some crap. I also have a really morbid, self-destructive brain.

Most likely, they really like you. You are not accepting that they may just like you.  It took me years to realize people like me. It doesn't matter why. Once you learn to accept it at face value, it feels good.

Then why do I feel like most of them are avoiding me? I'm not to be hung out with on a normal basis... Just long enough to inject some worth into me. Its as if they're all afraid I'm going to kill myself or something. I'm not. Its like now that they know I'm not suicidal or something, now they can COMPLETELY avoid me. Well... Thats just a theory. Maybe I had sex with a goat. How else would people avoid me like this?

I dk. I REALLY hope what you are saying is true.

Quote from: Zythyra on January 15, 2009, 09:34:14 AM

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 08:13:13 AM
Not only milk, but sometimes cream and even cheese.
I'm dairy fluid.   

Something in the whey sie moves..... 

boo booo

- the noise of a cow with a cold.

Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 15, 2009, 12:27:09 PM

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 08:25:51 AM

Quote from: Kara-Xen on January 15, 2009, 07:43:05 AM
Its like the second I get into a social situation with more than one, even the geeky ones, I'm instantly almost disregarded... I'm starting to think people only hang out with me because they pity me or some crap. I also have a really morbid, self-destructive brain.

Most likely, they really like you. You are not accepting that they may just like you.  It took me years to realize people like me. It doesn't matter why. Once you learn to accept it at face value, it feels good.

Then why do I feel like most of them are avoiding me? I'm not to be hung out with on a normal basis... Just long enough to inject some worth into me. Its as if they're all afraid I'm going to kill myself or something. I'm not. Its like now that they know I'm not suicidal or something, now they can COMPLETELY avoid me. Well... Thats just a theory. Maybe I had sex with a goat. How else would people avoid me like this?

I dk. I REALLY hope what you are saying is true.

If people are avoiding you, just ignore them.

Like I was going to ignore pica's cow joke before I decided it wasn't that bad at all.

Part of being noticed is being comfortable with yourself.  I think people can feel any uneasiness that you have about yourself.    I don't know if that helps.  And if you still feel like people aren't listening, find someone else.  There are always more people out there to meet.  Be an optimist. 

Also, your age might have something to do with it.  Certain things calm down as you get older.  It takes until about age 25 for all that teenage hormone stuff to normalize. 

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 03:43:44 PMLike I was going to ignore pica's cow joke before I decided it wasn't that bad at all.

I don't know, I think sie should be ashamed of hirself. 

Quote from: Jaimey on January 15, 2009, 08:54:19 PM
Part of being noticed is being comfortable with yourself.  I think people can feel any uneasiness that you have about yourself.    I don't know if that helps.  And if you still feel like people aren't listening, find someone else.  There are always more people out there to meet.  Be an optimist. 

Also, your age might have something to do with it.  Certain things calm down as you get older.  It takes until about age 25 for all that teenage hormone stuff to normalize. 

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 03:43:44 PMLike I was going to ignore pica's cow joke before I decided it wasn't that bad at all.

I don't know, I think sie should be ashamed of hirself. 

Thanks... I dk. I mean... Obviously I'm hormonal but that doesn't mean I actually bother ACTING on any feelings I have for anyone. All I'm really wanting is friendship and stuff... So... Eh whatever...

Thanks all... D:

I was lonely as hell when I was your age.  I had friends but it was still like I was alone in the world.

Quote from: Rebis on January 15, 2009, 10:52:55 PM
I was lonely as hell when I was your age.  I had friends but it was still like I was alone in the world.

My problem is that I finally found the type of people I absolutely love to pieces, but I never get to see them. Thanks though...

Think positive!    *hugs*

So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

That's been my experience, yes.

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

Probably not for binary types. I can't really recall a time I didn't feel male.

Quote from: Nero on January 21, 2009, 11:07:13 AM

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

Probably not for binary types. I can't really recall a time I didn't feel male.

I would agree with that, only in my case it's the reverse.

But that's been my own personal experience. And the important thing to realise is that everyone is a unique individual and the experiences they do or do not ungergo are not indicitive of what everyone else will or will not undergo.

Go with what you feel and what you think about yourself, rather that what others have told you about themselves. That's the best way to know who you are. Trust your instincts, honey.

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

absolutely, yes (for me, anyway)

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 21, 2009, 11:02:56 AM

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?



-Merrick

That's been my experience, yes.

I realized I should have been a bit more explicit in my reply.

I consider myself to be primarily androgyne, but also gender-fluid (genderflux was suggested by someone on this board, but I can't remember who). So for me, how I feel with regards to my gender identity isn't fixed, and it does flucuate.

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?

This was the case for me too.

Me too.  Late last year I had decided to present and live as a gay man and then all of a sudden I got really comfortable with my body.  No major event or anything, it just happened.  Maybe just facing what I wanted at the time was enough to make that desire settle down a bit.  Who knows? 

Quote from: Merrick on January 21, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
So, according to this thread, it sometimes takes time for things to settle? In other words, people sometimes have fluctuating female and male feelings before they either are androgyne or FTM for example? So could male feelings suddenly get stronger, after fluctuating on and off for a time?

absolutely. i think for a lot of people it works out this way. i felt very male when i first discovered i was trans, but then i started feeling more androgynous and decided to hold off on transition. now i find myself in the same place i was in the beginning. in the mean time tho, don't worry too much about putting a label on yourself. in my experiences, putting labels on yourself really jus causes more stress than its worth

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 21, 2009, 05:00:47 PM
I consider myself to be primarily androgyne, but also gender-fluid (genderflux was suggested by someone on this board, but I can't remember who). So for me, how I feel with regards to my gender identity isn't fixed, and it does flucuate.

This is pretty much how it is for me too, although it's during my more gender-fluid periods that I tend to identify as androgyne. When my behavior / interests shift towards being more feminine I tend to identify as a MtF transwoman.

This shifting of identity used to bother me greatly. And it was particularly uncomfortable when I would start moving from feeling more female back towards middle ground. I think a lot of that discomfort may have come from my buying into the whole binary gender thing. I think I placed a higher value on those aspects of myself that I related to as 'female' than I did those things that I related to as more gender-neutral or male.

The shifting still happens, but it doesn't really bother me anymore, I just accept it as being how I am.


(I hope it's okay for my to reply to this thread since I'm not FtM. If not, I apologize - and I will remove it.)

~Shannon

Quote from: KYLYKaHYT on January 22, 2009, 06:03:00 AM
This is pretty much how it is for me too, although it's during my more gender-fluid periods that I tend to identify as androgyne. When my behavior / interests shift towards being more feminine I tend to identify as a MtF transwoman.

This shifting of identity used to bother me greatly. And it was particularly uncomfortable when I would start moving from feeling more female back towards middle ground. I think a lot of that discomfort may have come from my buying into the whole binary gender thing. I think I placed a higher value on those aspects of myself that I related to as 'female' than I did those things that I related to as more gender-neutral or male.

The shifting bothers me only from time to time. There are those times when it reminds me of just how isolated I am. There's a trans group that meets really close to home here. I emailed the leader asking if androgynes were welcome, and the reply was yes. Though, there aren't any in the group at this time; I'd be the only one. I haven't actually gone yet as I feel like I'd be crashing at party. The membership of this group is primarily MtF.

Quote from: KYLYKaHYT on January 22, 2009, 06:03:00 AM
(I hope it's okay for my to reply to this thread since I'm not FtM. If not, I apologize - and I will remove it.)

I can't speak for all, but I think it is okay for you to reply to this thread. I value your opinion.