Hi Christine, you are not alone now and the fact that you recognize something is amiss is a big step in solving the problems and thoughts.
I do agree with the others that a Therapist could be of help, especially one that deals in gender issues and is sympthetic to transsexual issues. There is nothing to be ashamed of in having these feelings. That is why these sites are here, to help, guide and let you make informed decisions.
You will learn along the way that it isnt always an easy road but one that will in the end give you a measure of peace. And dont worry about the age, we come in all shapes and sizes too, lol. Welcome and hugs.
Wendy