After thinking for some time... I've come to the conclusion that I'm just a really feminine in some aspects. I mean, I would be very happy living as a woman. However, I have learned that a transition isn't right for me. I can continue to live as a male.
However... I don't know if I can continue with my male parts. Seeing them drive me crazy... I may not be a woman(I feel a bit womanly sometimes) but I'm definately not a man(I feel no masculinity) either =(. This is probably strange x.x... but I'm scared if I did anything about even that, no one would love me... I want to be with someone someday... and as it is, i'm not even able to get a woman to consider me... I haven't had a girlfriend in over 5 years... not even a close relationship with anyone.
So I feel as though it's a choice between forever giving up on being with someone... or not doing anything about it and continue looking for someone.