Have you ever been to an all you can eat sausage fest?

Hey Babe, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I know your ex and the i would have broken up with you too.

the people at the asylum said i was better when they let me out!

have you ever seen a rash like this.

wow your more fun than your mom was when i took her out.

wow are they supposed to sag that much at your age?

you don't work for the police do you?

how would I look in a donkey suit?

I'm kinnda between places right now how big is your place again?

how many licks does it take to get to your center.

I swear the next time they won't catch me.

could you excuse me I need to call my parole officer

so I told my wife a threesome would spice up our sex life.

really you look much older than that!

what do I get if I guess your weight correctly?

are you a slut or do you just like to dress like that.

how much for an hour?

Well...I'm really glad you told me the truth and regardless of that I think you're a really cool person...you'll find the right guy one day.

They (a guy) spend the whole date talking about that fabulous trip to wine country with their mom, or sister.

You've got a ride back home right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hunCPw_cWGI#noexternalembed

wow looking at you I just realized how lucky to be on a date with someone as good looking as me!

does this hat make my head look fat?

what would you do for a klondike bar?

didn't I see you at the last family reunion?

sorry I don't eat anything my mom didn't cook!

wow you looked better in your picture

he cheated on me so I decieded to give women a shot

I know I am attractive because my mom says so

do you like touching me as much as I like touching myself?

Nice bump, ell!

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 29, 2009, 09:54:03 PM
I know I am attractive because my mom says so

I actually dated a woman who said basically this, and it was pretty much the deal-breaker. I was somewhat interested in her, she seemed fun, she was reasonably good-looking, by no means unattractive, but hardly a stunner. But she insisted whe was very pretty -- everyone told her so. Well, I didn't care what other people thought, but her neurotic self-image was a real turn-off. I felt as though she was telling me to find her attractive, and it just made me see her as nutty, insecure, and maybe not all that pretty after all, now that you mention it.

And Jen -- I love riftgirlblog. Leith is hilarious; so is her guy, Les (l35i5m0r3)

Quote from: Alyssa M. on January 29, 2009, 11:07:25 PM
And Jen -- I love riftgirlblog. Leith is hilarious; so is her guy, Les (l35i5m0r3)

Hehe, Les is a cutie.  =)

Why do they call you Dubya?

I only like guys with really small ones, I hear you'r ideal

I've got herpes but it doesn't itch as much as they say

How long do you last?

You've got spinach caught in your teeth

how do you feel about monkey suits and camels?

I am having a great time I sure am glad I lost that bet!

I have nails and electrodes at home wanna play?

don't worry I am sure you will find something better to wear next time!

did you really pay someone to cut your hair like that?

you think I look good in this wait till you see my spiderman PJs.

my husband doesn't get out of prison for another two weeks!

no really I am not disappointed I didn't expect you to be good looking anyway

I like you it is true what they say looks aren't everything

this resturant is great and they only have a few roaches

lets just stay in I don't want to be seen in public with you

ok thats enough about you lets talk about me some more

is that a tic tac in your pocket or are you excited

don't worry I am good at sex I have had plenty of pratice

we can go anwhere that cost less than $5

if I drink alot will you get better looking?

wow you have really big feet for a girl

don't worry the glove didn't fit so I was cleared of all charges

I heard this years ago.
It may be an urban legend.
On the wedding night, the groom says " can you take a really cold bath and then lie really still on the bed" He was a mortician, the bride left ASAP - before the bath.

so romantic
Cindy James

Don't talk about body parts and leave all of your wild party memories at home & when you talk to me, look at my eyes not at my boobs.

Wow, I never knew that tattoo on your shoulder was such pretty colours... it only showed up in different shades of green through my nightvision goggles.

Okay um heres a few.

Girl, Im gonna do things to you I learned at Seaworld!

Ive been told to have a rapist whit.

Ugh, god. have they found a cure for that yet? (the person goes what?) Oh, never mind.

Doctor says it should be cleared up in about a month.

Oh my god, do you love reading Harry Potter?

Sorry I cant go to the park. Something happened in the public rest room, and Im not allowed to be 100 ft. near children.

I work for Fox News.

...then when I came back from Montreal, I threw out all my guy clothes...