HI,

in the intro section I mentioned that I'm here because my boyfriend of 2 years will be going through a MtF transition. It was a surprise to me and not at the same time. He was always the feminine one of the relationship and I was always the masculine one. [btw I'm androgyne] But I thought he just like wearing woman's clothes. I obviously don't have a problem with it since I usually look like a school boy [for some strange reason.....probably because I'm asian]. I did not think that he would want to go further and physically become a female.

We've had many talks about and we still are. I've mentioned to him that if he told me this in the beginning I probably would not have gone out with him. This is mainly because I;m physically not attracted to females at all. And if I would have known earlier it would have saved much heartbreak in the long run.

we're still technically together but we've both agree that when  the hormone treatment begins that I can't be with him. I support him 100%  I just won't ever tell my parents why we're not together anymore. [they're traditional asian]

I just hope I don't seem like an ->-bleeped-<- for making this decision.

No your not an ->-bleeped-<- as you say hunny,

i had a similar situation and yes it was probably best to say this at the beginning but its happened.

As Kiera says, there are more bf's and staying friends is worth so much more

Thank you, you two. I'm glad I'm not a terrible person. We have determined to remain friends, mainly because we've been best friends for 7-8 years. So it hurts a little more.

I don't think you're horrible at all.. if you're not attracted to women, that's that, it's not something you can change. I think it's awesome you two are going to stay friends.

well, obviously you don't love him. so, yes, it is the right decision.

Quote from: Nero on January 30, 2009, 10:18:16 AM
well, obviously you don't love him. so, yes, it is the right decision.

Hey.. just because they can't stay together since the attraction isn't there, doesn't mean there isn't love involved.. love and sexual attraction are two very different things.  One doesn't depend upon the other.

Quote from: TamTam on January 30, 2009, 02:23:15 PM

Quote from: Nero on January 30, 2009, 10:18:16 AM
well, obviously you don't love him. so, yes, it is the right decision.

Hey.. just because they can't stay together since the attraction isn't there, doesn't mean there isn't love involved.. love and sexual attraction are two very different things.  One doesn't depend upon the other.

they don't. but what is love if it is purely about the physical?

Some people place more importance on the physical aspect of relationships than others do.  Not everyone can be happy in a relationship that doesn't include sex, and even though that doesn't apply to me, I can still understand it.

I mean, yeah, we don't really know if they were in love or not.. but.. since it wasn't mentioned, I don't think we can really assume one way or the other.  Plus, there's other kinds of love, not just romantic.

I personally think that you being honest about the lack of attraction and ending the relationship rather than trying to live a lie is the right decision. it seems to me that you do care for him very much and in your love for him you are wanting to support him as a friend. as far as him not telling the full extent of being a TS rather than a crossdresser it is a very scary concept for most of us because we are afraid of being alone. It took me three years into my marrige to tell my partner how I feel. you need to know he must trust you very much to be able to get to this step with you and you are being a very good person to stand by him the way you are. if the attraction for the female form is not there for you then it is just not there. you have no more control over that then we have over our birth defects. you will do more for him as a supportive friend than if you had been a nonsupportive girlfriend. you are not a bad person you are just being honest about how you feel.

Quote from: Jessie_Heart on January 30, 2009, 03:35:31 PM
I personally think that you being honest about the lack of attraction and ending the relationship rather than trying to live a lie is the right decision. it seems to me that you do care for him very much and in your love for him you are wanting to support him as a friend. as far as him not telling the full extent of being a TS rather than a crossdresser it is a very scary concept for most of us because we are afraid of being alone. It took me three years into my marrige to tell my partner how I feel. you need to know he must trust you very much to be able to get to this step with you and you are being a very good person to stand by him the way you are. if the attraction for the female form is not there for you then it is just not there. you have no more control over that then we have over our birth defects. you will do more for him as a supportive friend than if you had been a nonsupportive girlfriend. you are not a bad person you are just being honest about how you feel.

Thank you. I understand it's hard to just come out with it. I probably would not have known for a long while if one of our closest friend wasn't  going through the same. When I found out I told him "hey 'soandso' is gonna go through gender therapy...wow." And from that it was easier for him to simply say to me "yeah, i want to too some day."

If any of that made any sense.

yes it made perfect sense to me!

sweet. I have trouble articulating sometimes.

firstly, gigantic "you rock"s for the watchmen avatar.

secondly, while I am one of those who are attracted to a person for 100% non physical reasons, I can understand how if you're not attracted, you're not attracted.
Sex, or rather, physical intimacy is one of the key things in a fully functional romantic relationship. If you aren't able to feel the desire to be physically intimate, it is the only right thing to break off the relationship. Doesn't make you an a-hole, makes you an honest person.

Wow Nero, You are so harsh. You're not a terrible person and It's great you two are staying friends!