Ok, well I'm kinda at a set of crossroads, and I'm not exactly sure what to do.

Essentially whats going on is this. I'm going to be coming home to the states for about a month coming up at the end of February. If I'm going to come out to my folks, I want to do it face to face with them. I don't want to write a letter, I don't want to tell them over the phone. I know its going to be a tearful event for my mother (it was when I came out as gay about 5 years ago), and I don't want to put her through that without me being physically there. The thing though is that I'm going to be leaving for Korea again almost right away, and I don't want to leave the family situation at home like that. I'm at the point where I want to see a therapist and start transitioning, but I obviously can't do that while I'm overseas. I'm planning on dressing more often this year, at least in private, but thats about the extent of things I can do.

My situation is thus. I can leave things as they are, and wait until I'm home and ready to start the transition process, or I can talk to them now. The other option I have is to talk to my Dad, who's gay. I don't know how that would go, but I know that he has some friends who are transgendered. I've felt a burning need to talk to them about this, but I don't want to hurt them, especially when I'm going to be so far away.

They both accept that I'm "gay" (even though for my mother its somewhat reluctantly), I just am a little wierded about how it will go this time around. Especially since I know, I'm not really gay, I'm just in the wrong body.

Does anyone have any advice on which way I should be leaning? Thanks!

-Angela

No one wants to hurt there parents really, but remember that they are often way more resilient than we give them credit for, it just takes time.  Its hard to say what you should do,  but in my mind the sooner you tell them, the more time they have to adjust before you start transitioning.  If you do come out to them sooner rather than later, just make sure you keep communication up.  At least that has helped with my parents, they live a few thousand miles away from me, but i keep them informed pretty much daily of how transition is going.  As many people have said, your family has to transition along with you.

Thanks lizard.....thats much of what I was thinking myself. At least in the aspect of talking with my Dad. I know I really need to tell folks, but I hadn't given a whole lot of thought about how to do it. I guess the main reason that I don't want to do this is that I'm afraid that they'll try to talk me out of my decisions, and given how long it took me to get to this point, I dont know if i can quite deal with it yet personally. I need to be whom I know I am, and I know there will be objections from friends and family, but I think I need to become a little more confident in myself before I can confidently deal with those objections.

It seems my mind keeps going in circles lately........