Sorry for suggesting that, i just hate the practice....
As for the referal business, yeah, it can be a bitch, but its all personal at the end of the day... people need to be honest to themselves if they want to be taken seriously. Lie, and you're worth nothing.

I want to list my transition status that according to our law about sex change I am now ''legally'' female.  I do not know what that means in reality. The law does not tell it.

I haven't started any hormones or anything really at all but dressing in my clothes instead of "my" clothes when around the house.
I have set up an appointment to see a therapist later this month, now that I have my insurance stuff taken care of ^.^;;
Still working on telling my mother though....nothing will really happen until I'm honest with her, since I still live in her house.

I selected

QuoteOn hormones/therapy & living fulltime

I have been on T since may 13 last year. I am stealth to everyone I meet, out to everyone who matters, not out at work but will be by the end of the month. Surgery top surgery next month. 29 days

Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 01, 2009, 06:27:55 AM

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 05:45:34 AM
(im british)

And shame on you for suggesting that..... Im sorry, but 'coaching' people to answer therapy questions is impropper, and iresponsible. If someone is truely transgender, they ought to be able to answer them correctly alone!

Its not just surgical waits that are long... so is therapy.. ive 3 years left to wait of 6 >>

Sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way suggesting I approve of coaching. But it does go on, and I'm sure you know it does. Quite frankly, if someone is determined to 'fool' the system they probably will if they have more than three brain cells and aren't an obvious basket case. But at the end of the day who are they 'fooling' but themselves. For myself I have never had any coaching, but I suppose that accounts for the fact that upon being asked by my specialist, within a day or two of transitioning, whether I wanted SRS I answered that as things stood the best argument I could come up with in favour was that my skirts would hang better and I could wear tighter jeans. As I feared, he didn't consider my reasoning sufficiently persuasive to offer me an immediate referral.......... now if I'd been properly coached...who knows? 

Hey Sis don't worry if you can couch someone and save them tons of money from rip off therapist then i am all for it..

Quote from: postoplesbian on February 01, 2009, 02:36:07 PM

Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 01, 2009, 06:27:55 AM

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 05:45:34 AM
(im british)

And shame on you for suggesting that..... Im sorry, but 'coaching' people to answer therapy questions is impropper, and iresponsible. If someone is truely transgender, they ought to be able to answer them correctly alone!

Its not just surgical waits that are long... so is therapy.. ive 3 years left to wait of 6 >>

Sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way suggesting I approve of coaching. But it does go on, and I'm sure you know it does. Quite frankly, if someone is determined to 'fool' the system they probably will if they have more than three brain cells and aren't an obvious basket case. But at the end of the day who are they 'fooling' but themselves. For myself I have never had any coaching, but I suppose that accounts for the fact that upon being asked by my specialist, within a day or two of transitioning, whether I wanted SRS I answered that as things stood the best argument I could come up with in favour was that my skirts would hang better and I could wear tighter jeans. As I feared, he didn't consider my reasoning sufficiently persuasive to offer me an immediate referral.......... now if I'd been properly coached...who knows? 

Hey Sis don't worry if you can couch someone and save them tons of money from rip off therapist then i am all for it..

I'd have to disagree. If someone wants to fast track themselves to a surgical referral by using someone else's answers to the questions posed by their shrink that's a matter for them as will be the consequences of any inappropriate and irreversible surgery which may follow, but personally I wouldn't want to be a party, however remotely, to the deception.

Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 01, 2009, 06:27:55 AM

... Quite frankly, if someone is determined to 'fool' the system they probably will if they have more than three brain cells and aren't an obvious basket case. ...

Oh, I dunno... after meeting a few interesting individuals, I think it takes MUCH more than that.

Quote from: postoplesbian on February 01, 2009, 02:36:07 PM

Quote from: Jenny Jackson on February 01, 2009, 06:27:55 AM

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 05:45:34 AM
(im british)

And shame on you for suggesting that..... Im sorry, but 'coaching' people to answer therapy questions is impropper, and iresponsible. If someone is truely transgender, they ought to be able to answer them correctly alone!

Its not just surgical waits that are long... so is therapy.. ive 3 years left to wait of 6 >>

Sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way suggesting I approve of coaching. But it does go on, and I'm sure you know it does. Quite frankly, if someone is determined to 'fool' the system they probably will if they have more than three brain cells and aren't an obvious basket case. But at the end of the day who are they 'fooling' but themselves. For myself I have never had any coaching, but I suppose that accounts for the fact that upon being asked by my specialist, within a day or two of transitioning, whether I wanted SRS I answered that as things stood the best argument I could come up with in favour was that my skirts would hang better and I could wear tighter jeans. As I feared, he didn't consider my reasoning sufficiently persuasive to offer me an immediate referral.......... now if I'd been properly coached...who knows? 

Hey Sis don't worry if you can couch someone and save them tons of money from rip off therapist then i am all for it..

I worry that you are serious....

My friend Jess was telling me in Thailand that there are m2fs getting srs, then going back to live as males.... People turning up, NO therapy, not even OUT.... one person, came, without telling thier wife, got srs, and hasnt told them.... they BOUGHT thier referals... coaching is literally as bad as that....

Therapy is to make sure this is the right choice, not something that we think we need, because lets face it, not everyone is as they feel, and if we can be saved from a mistake, all the better. Hey, if you are genuine, why worry?

As for ripoffs.... Try UK private therapy... its atleast 200-300$ a hour...

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 10:14:24 PM

Quote from: postoplesbian on February 01, 2009, 02:36:07 PM

Hey Sis don't worry if you can couch someone and save them tons of money from rip off therapist then i am all for it..

I worry that you are serious....

My friend Jess was telling me in Thailand that there are m2fs getting srs, then going back to live as males.... People turning up, NO therapy, not even OUT.... one person, came, without telling thier wife, got srs, and hasnt told them.... they BOUGHT thier referals... coaching is literally as bad as that....

Therapy is to make sure this is the right choice, not something that we think we need, because lets face it, not everyone is as they feel, and if we can be saved from a mistake, all the better. Hey, if you are genuine, why worry?

As for ripoffs.... Try UK private therapy... its atleast 200-300$ a hour...

I've also heard these stories and, I'd agree, some are truly mind boggling. But ultimately, it's very difficult to save people from themselves if they're sufficiently determined, disillusional and psychotic and when there are a few surgeons who are prepared to play along with them and reinterpret the rules for the sake of another fee.

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 10:14:24 PM
As for ripoffs.... Try UK private therapy... its atleast 200-300$ a hour...

Just for the record.... I have been lucky enough to get an excellent UK therapist in London
for $90 an hour, but it's still a lot of money to find on a regular basis when you add in
travel cost.

Chrissty

Uk private
Money very well spent but each to their own.

Just started HRT but not full-time yet.

At this point, I'm just waiting for SRS.

Quote from: Chrissty on February 02, 2009, 05:31:14 AM

Quote from: Starbuck on February 01, 2009, 10:14:24 PM
As for ripoffs.... Try UK private therapy... its atleast 200-300$ a hour...

Just for the record.... I have been lucky enough to get an excellent UK therapist in London
for $90 an hour, but it's still a lot of money to find on a regular basis when you add in
travel cost.

Chrissty

I think I know who she is and have used the same person myself and I'd agree she's excellent.

Even that is 150 minimum for me with trains....  But i've just been battleing the GIC for some form of date... and six years dropped to 4... ill be seen this year... sometime.... maye...

People that can afford private, you dont know how lucky you are....

Quote from: Starbuck on February 02, 2009, 11:45:25 AM
Even that is 150 minimum for me with trains....  But i've just been battleing the GIC for some form of date... and six years dropped to 4... ill be seen this year... sometime.... maye...

People that can afford private, you dont know how lucky you are....

I do realise it, and I do understand the pain the NHS lottery
un-necessarily causes in the UK.

I also know I would not have found the resources without advice
from kind people here, who are using also the same specialists
through the NHS.

How long I can continue to afford it, remains to be seen.

Chrissty

I started transition 17 mths ago, was approved for HRT 15 mths ago,
now I have both letters for surgery but no $$ to pay for it.
My req. RLE I guess wasn't an issue. I always dressed female at appts.
and made home videos of my daily life even when in male mode for her

when she gave me her letter she said she was convinced that my quality of
life would improve after transition,

the cost burdened me, between her visits, the additional psychiatrist's visits
for the second letter
and the initial endo visits, add in cost of living. I was unable to start saving for my
surgery until recently and I don't have to pay for endo visits now that my GP writes
the scripts but I do have to pay for all the meds I take. I would like to be FT by now

but I struggle with the whole pre-op thing in my head, which make self acceptance
even harder for me. Lately that is changing though, and I just may go FT sooner than later.

Nicole 

Surely you're meant to be full time for RLE? or are you fooling your therapist?

Quote from: Starbuck on February 02, 2009, 11:45:25 AM
Even that is 150 minimum for me with trains....  But i've just been battleing the GIC for some form of date... and six years dropped to 4... ill be seen this year... sometime.... maye...

People that can afford private, you dont know how lucky you are....

Oh I certainly know how lucky I am as I have loads of T friends battling the system. I just couldn't have gone through the whole NHS process, as early on I wouldn't have felt in a position to make the sort of commitment that I feel comfortable making now, and consequently my life would have been an infinitely poorer thing.

Its the reason why ive not dropped out of university.... like many have suggested, and moved to another area.... The thing is... my degree is vital, to my future... if want a realistic chance of getting what i need.... I need to do this, and well... the number of transpeople who say 'meh f*** education* are scary :S I guess the nhs is better than being stuck as a freak porno sideshow for ever...