Hey guys...it's been a while. I kinda disappeared from this place for a bit, but I hope everyone has been well in my absence.

So, the topic. I've been on T for about 8 months now, and it's awesome. I have noticed that I've kind of disassociated myself from the trans community. It seems like the further I get into transition the less trans I am. Before taking testosterone I kind of considered myself to be a trans man, but now I don't consider myself trans at all. I almost feel hypocritical. AND I've become completely ignorant to my appearance as far as passing. I had no idea that people could still look at me, or speak with me for that matter, and still think that I'm "not the average bio-duck." It's weird.

Do you other guys feel like this has happened to you as well?

I'm not on T, but I kind of feel the same way.

I'm supportive of GLBT and all, but I feel awkward to be considered apart of it, y'know? Even without hormones I just feel like a regular straight guy, even though I'm not a bio-male.
But what you're going through sounds like something I'd expect or wouldn't be surprised to see happen. I think most of us want to be seen as just being a regular guy(or girl if that's the case.)

Yea, I agree with you about the gay community. I used to have a lot of fun hanging out with my gay friends...but not so much anymore. It almost seems like a lot of gay people aren't very accepting of trans people...at least in my experience. Plus, most gay people seem to be able to spot trans people better than straight people can, and will continue to refer to you as the gender they percieve you as.

So far I haven't had any problems with that, but my gf has been going to a GBLT club for the passed couple of months and the way she talks about how I should do a drag king show and all makes me feel like a novelty. Sometimes I feel like the 'T' is just to tag something on the end of the acronym so it's rounded off.

Ahahahahaaha, I got a pretty good laugh out of that one. 

LMFAO at "T being tacked on"

But seriously.......
I think that while trans issues will always be close to my heart and while I will always be supportive of the trans community I will not always feel the term "trans" defines who I am.  Although I feel proud to be trans I am trans for a reason and that reason is because I was born scientifically speaking the wrong gender.  Once this is fully corrected through hormones,surgery etc..I think I will not identify with this label fully.

As another poster pointed out even without hormones,surgery etc.. I would still feel like any other guy because that is what I am after all, a guy.  I just happen to have received an incorrect balance of hormones in the womb.

As for gay people not being fully supportive of trans I personally have not experienced this but realise one thing, in my opinion and of my experience they are certainly more 100 times more supportive of being trans than the hetero world out there.

After all people tend to go on what they see including most importantly how we see ourselves, that is after all why so many of us feel the need to transition in the first place because we want to be perceived as we are and also we want to feel comfortable with ourselves.
If people just perceived us as we mentally are then there would not be as great a need to transition maybe I don't know althoughwe would still not be happy with ourselves.
So I feel gay people are more supportive than any other group in my opinion they are certainly the least judgemental and do the most to further the progress of trans people apart from trans people themselves.
At the end of the day what you have to remember is gay people are human too and like anyone else will go on what they see first until they know otherwise.

I agree, GLB are more likely to accept and try to understand those who are trans... I just think there should a little more education going on about what it means to be transgender and why it's an umbrella term.

I distanced myself a little from the gay community for a while after I started taking T, probably because I was still trying to assert my masculinity. I didn't join the queer student group on campus or hang out with many gay people. Now that I'm a junior with two and a half years of testosterone - and feel more comfortable not being too stereotypically masculine - I've gotten back into the queer community, mostly because they're fun people who understand queer issues. It's someplace where I don't have to worry about talking about queer stuff or looking "gay." (Plus it's impossible to go a semester in the Queer Student Union without hooking up with someone. Heh.)

Basically, I'm at a point now where I don't care what people think about my sexuality - I'm just being me, and that's kind of why I like hanging out with queer people. They don't judge, and they're usually really open about sexuality. I'm one of those people who just luuuuuvs to talk about sex, and they dig that.

Now that I am post op, bearded, etc. I have absolutely no relationship with the trans community.  I recently changed all my medical stuff around so I'm at a plain old GP, not a gender clinic.  I haven't been to a support group since early May and don't hang around with trans people or in queer circles. 

I think it's a very natural thing for a lot of people, especially those who don't choose to remain out.  Personally, I transitioned to begin living my life as male, not to continue living my life as a ->-bleeped-<-. 

I recently found out that there is a rather large college scholorship offered by some organization (I can't think of the name right now) to FTM individuals. The only catch is that the person has to be "out and proud" and participate in some sort of diversity education about trans folks at their school of choice. I'm kind of on the fence about applying for the scholorship because I do not want to be known as a trans guy, but I think further education about trans people and related issues is really important. I guess in a way I'm a hypocrite; where exactly would we be if no one had ever faught for trans rights? I guess I know there is a job to be done and I almost feel obligated to do it, but I just can't bring myself into the public eye like that.

I feel the same way. I feel that there should be more education going on about people who are trans so others can begin to understand. But at the same time, like you, I don't want to be the one to do it because I wouldn't feel too comfortable with it. I mean, right now, I don't even feel like I belong in either 'world' so to speak.

I'm willing to bet, that there are gay people who felt/feel the same about education on homosexuality and what not, though. Some people are more vocal than others, while some don't want to be in the spotlight. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to not want to be noticed, but hope for awareness to be raised.

I feel thankful for those people but also  find value in how I live my life.  Once and a while, when I do come out to someone, their view of transpeople changes.   It takes both the posterboy and the (for lack of a better term) assimilationist to power the movement.

Very true, I never thought of it that way.

I didn't go to support groups, except for the early months on T. Don't consider myself anything but a guy. But, I get out of the shower and I see the scars from chest surgery. I piss and I see that I'm missing something. It all still bothers me. This site is my only contact with the trans community, other than ppl who know in my town. But I know I'm different. It bothers me. And even if I had bottom surgery, it would bother me cause it wouldn't work like other guys' parts do.

No, I don't do trans education or anything like that. It pisses me off that any member of a minority should, in addition to living with being a minority, be responsible for educating people who don't live under the stress do. Goddam it, they have the time to do it, so they should educate themselves. Given that they don't, I think it's great that people put themselves out there. I just want to live my life.

Dennis

Yeah, i feel ya.  The only "trans community" i'm a part of is susan's.  I go to support but maybe once a month.  i just want to live my life as well.  i was never part of a "community" before transition, why should i now?

The only thing that's keeping me away from my usual hang outs of gay bars is I know they are more likely to see me as a butch lesbian than as a gay guy.

To answer the original question, I'm not even on T yet, but my family and friends are totally on board with pronouns and using my new name. So most of the time I just feel like any other regular guy, but then one of them slips up and calls me by my old name and it brings me back to reality. It is odd

Trans is not my identity; I live my life as a guy.  Yes, I'm missing some equipment, but I work with what I have and use prosthetics as needed (STP, etc).  It feels totally normal.  And I just started to date straight women, and it's great, and then I remember that little detail I'll have to disclose at some point.

I just ended therapy with my regular therapist; I'll probably still go to my group therapy for a while.  I've never been part of the community before; I will likely live relatively stealth...not as in hiding but just not making announcements if they're not necessary.

Jay

'trans' aint what I am. I'm chris. a dude. T & top surgery didnt make me a dude.  Iwas a dude b4 that. I dont tell ppl I dont got a dick. Its nobodys business. Dick or no dick I know I'm a dude & everybody sees a dude when they see me so I'm cool.