I have to teach today (college level, so my students are adults), and I've gotten behind on my grading. I was planning to get caught up this weekend, but the T has done such a number on me that I didn't get much done. I feel terrible about it, but there it is. On top of that, I just found out yesterday that one of my trans friends was gay bashed and beaten up, so I was quite upset about that. Still am.

I was going to be honest with my students, but only so honest. I planned to apologize for not getting much grading done, and then tell them that I've been feeling under the weather this weekend. This is true because of the T and my friend. The thing is, my voice has lowered quite dramatically overnight, and I'm trying to figure out how to handle it. I wasn't planning to come out to them, and I wasn't planning to say anything about my voice--but now I sound MUCH more masculine than I did last time we met.

I figure that if I tell them I haven't been feeling well, they'll think I have laryngitis or something. They might even ask about it. But I don't want to mislead them this week and then have my voice get deeper and deeper in the next few weeks of classes.

I didn't expect my voice to go down so low so fast. If they don't mention my voice, I can just do the usual and let them figure it out in the next few weeks. But if someone says something, what the heck should I do? Laugh it off? Say it's laryngitis? Tell them my voice is fine? Say I'm going through puberty?

I'm not thinking very clearly at the moment, and as I said, I didn't expect to have this problem. I thought that the most dramatic vocal changes would happen after the term was over.

I wouldn't come out to them, especially not when you had not planned on it. I assume you and the management have (or will come to) an understanding on how to go about coming out at your workplace. Telling one class before all the others (including your co-workers) does not sound like a good idea.

I understand you don't want to mislead your students, but I'm afraid this is one of those times that a white lie might be called for. Saying that you are feeling under the weather might just be a perfect phrase. You're not lying, but you're telling the truth in such a way that the others will assume something completely different than what you really mean.

Don't tell them your voice is fine. They're not stupid, and will only wonder more about what is going on with you.

Good luck today, and all the rest of the days you will have this problem before coming out and presenting as a man in front of class.


Vincent

QuoteI was planning to get caught up this weekend, but the T has done such a number on me that I didn't get much done

Um, what?  *looks skeptical*

I wouldn't come out to them, I wouldn't even say anything about being ill either. I would just go on with the session as normal

if they ask, id personally say "puberty".  theyd probably think it was a joke anyways. 

Yeah I'm banking with the puberty thing but only if anyone asks, it'll both break the tension and make it a little awkward for anyone to question further.

OF COURSE I should just say I'm going through puberty and laugh it off. It would be completely consistent of me to say something that nutty. How stupid of me not to have seen that. I guess I have so much on my plate at the moment and am so distracted that I'm not thinking too clearly.

That, and I'm pretty effing paranoid. And I feel guilty for getting behind in the grading. I'm always so conscientious.

Mister, I'm not sure what you have to be skeptical about here. It's not like I'm insisting on the existence of gnomes and elves and fairies.

Okay, scratch that. My avatar is an elf, and I'm definitely a fairy...

Quote from: Mister on February 24, 2009, 01:20:00 PM
Um, what?  *looks skeptical*

Quote from: Arch on February 24, 2009, 06:59:03 PM
Mister, I'm not sure what you have to be skeptical about here. It's not like I'm insisting on the existence of gnomes and elves and fairies.

i think he meant that it was suspicious that you didnt get anything done due to T.  you know... >_>  MASTURBATION.

Quote from: Josh on February 24, 2009, 07:16:22 PM
i think he meant that it was suspicious that you didnt get anything done due to T.  you know... >_>  MASTURBATION.

Not about masturbation, but just that testosterone enabled out to not function...   unless you were having sex all weekend, which i totally understand.  I suppose your wording is throwing me for a loop, as testosterone has never prevented me from doing my work duties before...  except for that one time i called in sick to do it all day. 

Quote from: Mister on February 24, 2009, 08:58:09 PM
Not about masturbation, but just that testosterone enabled out to not function...   unless you were having sex all weekend, which i totally understand.  I suppose your wording is throwing me for a loop, as testosterone has never prevented me from doing my work duties before...  except for that one time i called in sick to do it all day. 

Um, okay, I see what you're saying. And, well, you're on the right track. I'm on a really high dose (I won't say how much, as I don't want to tick off the dosage police), and I used to have next to NO sex drive, and overnight I turned into, well--[turns red]--a ravening sex fiend. I was so distracted that I was missing freeway exits and stuff like that. It took me a few days to get it under control, so I only did about fifty percent of the work I should have done. I'm better now at staying focused. I should be caught up by the end of this weekend.

My classes went okay. In one, somebody said that I sounded hoarse. I just said, "Yeah" and laughed and kept on going. I got a few funny looks as well, but I always get those.

Quote from: Arch on February 24, 2009, 10:22:20 PM
Um, okay, I see what you're saying. And, well, you're on the right track. I'm on a really high dose (I won't say how much, as I don't want to tick off the dosage police), and I used to have next to NO sex drive, and overnight I turned into, well--[turns red]--a ravening sex fiend. I was so distracted that I was missing freeway exits and stuff like that. It took me a few days to get it under control, so I only did about fifty percent of the work I should have done. I'm better now at staying focused. I should be caught up by the end of this weekend.

My classes went okay. In one, somebody said that I sounded hoarse. I just said, "Yeah" and laughed and kept on going. I got a few funny looks as well, but I always get those.

hahaha, ok cool.  I thought you were saying you had some side effect of testosterone that makes no sense (and therefore i was skeptical of) like, say... 
-inability to count
-inability to locate red teacher pens
-facial hair growing so rapidly you needed to shave every four minutes.

Quote from: Mister on February 24, 2009, 10:26:18 PM
hahaha, ok cool.  I thought you were saying you had some side effect of testosterone that makes no sense (and therefore i was skeptical of) like, say... 
-inability to count
-inability to locate red teacher pens
-facial hair growing so rapidly you needed to shave every four minutes.

Well, one side effect that you might not have considered is that my wrist is getting so sore that I don't want to write comments on these assignments AT ALL. I'm not so skilled with my other hand, so I use my dominant hand for everything--work AND pleasure.

And I feel guilty for getting behind in the grading.

Hey if the papers are due at a set time, you ought to follow your own rules and return them on time, I assure you they care a lot more about their grade than your voice.

If you're not ready to out yourself, don't.  Trust me, they won't think anything of your scratchy voice, so I wouldn't mention it.  I was on T for 4 months before I was out at work (other than to management) and nobody mentioned a thing.  I think maybe two people said something about having a cold/scratchy voice and I just laughed it off.  Now that I'm out I don't think even those people are thinking, hmmm, so that's why his voice was scratchy way back when.  Most people don't really care about your personal life, TBH.


Jay

A friend of mine teaches at the college level and had top surgery after break.  3 weeks into the semester, he came out to his class and said he had is breasts removed.  The first student responded,  "Oh, really?  i thought you went on a diet."

Quote from: tekla on February 25, 2009, 07:15:45 AM
Hey if the papers are due at a set time, you ought to follow your own rules and return them on time, I assure you they care a lot more about their grade than your voice.

On my syllabus, I only state tentative return dates for major assignments like essays, and I make sure everyone knows. For the particular assignment I was grading last weekend, there was actually no stated return date. 

Believe me, most of my colleagues are behinder than I am. I'm just a bit of a stickler about returning stuff as soon as possible. This quarter, however, I knew that I would be transitioning, so I gave myself some extra leeway on most things and didn't put return dates on everything. I guess the only reason I feel in the doghouse is that I have ridiculously high expectations of myself that my colleagues aren't stupid enough to have for themselves.

Unfortunately, a lot of my students at the beginning of the term had the insane expectation that a composition instructor can just grade and comment on dozens and dozens of essays in one weekend and get them back at the next class session. Um, no. I work hard every weekend, but I also like to sleep and eat and maybe even socialize a bit. Where do you see a big red S on my shirt?!

I think I've finally broken them of this mad delusion.