Hi I'm new here, my name is Jessi   

Welcome to Susans Jessi. What brought you here?

   Tino

Welcome Jessi.
Would you care to share a little more about yourself?

Nero

Welcome to Susan's, Jessi!

I'm very happy you found this site and amd glad you decided to join up and start posting.  I'm sure you'll realize very quickly what a special place this is and how safe it is here.  The members here are among the best human beings in the world, and I mean that quite literally, so you don't have to be shy at all.

I'll be looking forward to reading and learning more about you, Jessi, in the future.  Please, once again, let me say

WELCOME ! ! ! 
helen

And do check out our Wikipedia and links sites as well as our chat group.

Welcome.

Robyn

Hello Jessi.

Welcome to Susan's.  Why not tell us a little more about yourself

Steph

Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm here, I'm me and I'm confused. I may be in the wrong place, but I really don't see a place where I really fit in well anyway. I'm post-op M2F and I think I am screwed up and that I did screw up. Although I look female, I still act and feel completely male. If I took up acting for a career I would never be able or comfortable emulating a female even though I look like one and have to pee sitting down. Besides that I'm nuts about girls, it's hard to hide. So now after all that expense and fretting about being a woman I've decided that I'm really, and probably will always be a man. There that is all the sordid stuff, sorry if I offend anyone but it seems as if just being me offends almost everyone once they catch on. I'd like to just hang out in the Female to Male forum if that's ok? 

You're not in the wrong place. We'd be delighted to have you in the FtM forum, but you're welcome to the other forums too.
So, Jessi, are you saying you feel you weren't really transsexual, or maybe you are just having post-up depression?
No one will judge you here.
Again welcome.

Nero

Quote from: Jessi on July 19, 2006, 11:51:20 AM
Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm here, I'm me and I'm confused. I may be in the wrong place, but I really don't see a place where I really fit in well anyway. I'm post-op M2F and I think I am screwed up and that I did screw up. Although I look female, I still act and feel completely male. If I took up acting for a career I would never be able or comfortable emulating a female even though I look like one and have to pee sitting down. Besides that I'm nuts about girls, it's hard to hide. So now after all that expense and fretting about being a woman I've decided that I'm really, and probably will always be a man. There that is all the sordid stuff, sorry if I offend anyone but it seems as if just being me offends almost everyone once they catch on. I'd like to just hang out in the Female to Male forum if that's ok? 

I'm not so sure Jessi!  If you are post-op and you made a terrible mistake, based on what you said I think that you would make a great actor as you seem to have fooled all those who provided you support and the medical professionals who approved and performed the surgery.  If you don't mind me asking who did you have your GRS/SRS with?

Steph

Hi Jessi
There seems to be a place for almost anybody here. I am not TS or TG, my fiancee is FtoM pre-opp. There is a forum just for us SO's (significant others) but I read (sometimes post) in other forums too. I hope you feel as welcome and understood as I have here at Susan's. People are pretty open, friendly & helpful. Welcome to the community!
~Spike/aka/Amy

Also awhile back there was a few posts about the difference between one's sex & one's gender & one's sexuality. I dont remeber where to look but I bet someone here knows  Reader's Digest version; all three dont all come into a neat little package: Eg male doesnt always = boy, man doesnt always = wanting women

Hi All......
      Been using my brother's computer for several years, he allows me access to my hotmail account via his MSN account. I appreciate your patience concerning the slowness of my replys, but that's the reason I'm pokey about getting back here.

Steph....
      I went through the Benjamin SOC as most here do. I lied about wanting to have sex with a male as many M2F's do to achieve their goals. I had letters from my therapist, my endocrinologist, my MD and the surgeon who performed a bi-lateral orchiectomy years earlier. I had SRS done by a very reputable SRS specialist here in the U.S. Aren't we all actors both good and bad?

Cindianna....
        BLT? Yes I like bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.....SAM's like surface to air missles, I'm not interested in sex with a male! 

Thank you all Spike and friends for your kindness.....Jessi

Welcome to Susan's Jessi.  You possess a unique point of view that hopefully you will be able to share.  I am wondering why you felt you needed to change sex at the time.  Were you trying to gain something?

Melissa

Quote from: Jessi on July 20, 2006, 10:53:56 AM
Hi All......
      Been using my brother's computer for several years, he allows me access to my hotmail account via his MSN account. I appreciate your patience concerning the slowness of my replys, but that's the reason I'm pokey about getting back here.

Steph....
      I went through the Benjamin SOC as most here do. I lied about wanting to have sex with a male as many M2F's do to achieve their goals. I had letters from my therapist, my endocrinologist, my MD and the surgeon who performed a bi-lateral orchiectomy years earlier. I had SRS done by a very reputable SRS specialist here in the U.S. Aren't we all actors both good and bad?

Hello Jessi.

There are no dead lines on replying to post so don't fret there.  What intrigues me is your comment that " you lied about wanting to have sex with a male as many M2F's do to achieve their goals".  To be honest that's the first time that I've heard that.  I have two therapists and neither one asked about my sex life, or if I wanted sex with an man or a woman.  Strange how some therapists are.  I think I have a topic for a poll

I thought I could act but I didn't last more than 5 seconds on the "Gong Show" .  Just kidding.

Steph

Well, from what I hear, this was necessary back in the 70's and 80's.  Personally, I didn't lie, but maybe I didn't have to because things have changed.

Melissa

Hi Jessi,

I'm Peggiann, Leah's S.O.
I agree with Melissa, that you will add a different look on issues here. So Welcome and don't be such a hard judge on yourself.

Also there are Male to female transitioning individuals that are wild about women. My Leah is one of them. I was worried that that would change but Leah asures me the not in her life time will it.

I'm wondering if you had the right coaching on the finer points of being feminine. I'm speaking of the walking and sitting, talking, (phrasing), Make-up, finding the right cloths you are comfortable in and best shows your most feminine assets, gestures. ect. Maybe with alittle more of that you would feel better about things.

Are you working in a male role and flipping back and forth. Maybe that would make you not feel totally feminine. Maybe you didn't shed all of the male skin (If you get the meaning like other annimals or insects shed) and emerge to the new being. Maybe you haven't let the male side die yet for fear you could not be totally accepted by a female that would also be attracted to your body as you are to females. Are you happy in the male role with females? If not maybe you might be happier as female with a female that is happy with you.

At any rate I echo the comment to revisit your therapist and share your delema with them so they can help you better sort out your issues. It is most important to become comfortable with the you in the skin you are in. Health reason will demand this of yourself for it sake.

Be safe and I'm glad your here where other's can help you take a closer look with inside yourself. It's been my experience that to talk(type) it all out helps one find what one thinks they feel really deep down inside if they are truely being honest with themselves.

Smiles,
Peggiann
Hi Jessi,

Quote from: Jessi on July 19, 2006, 11:51:20 AM
I still act and feel completely male...

I honestly don't mean this to sound harsh, but I'm curious: what motivated you to transition into a female if you've always acted and felt completely male?

QuoteBesides that I'm nuts about girls...

That's OK, the majority of m2f's I've encountered prefer women as well - though this can change after transitioning.

Thanks for the thoughts Melissa, yes it was indeed a prerequsite some time ago for a pre-op transwoman to make a statement that they wanted to be loved by men and were interested in sex with men. Anything other than that and kerpow! Yer outa here girl!

Peggiann....
       Your thoughts are kind and well spoken thanks!

Kate....
It's a huge, long story but basically I didn't like other men and I didn't like the male roles assigned by societal expectations placed on me. I wished that I was born a female, but to be honest with you even though the clothing offers soooo much more in style, color and texture, it's just a hell of a lot of work to pull off if you're not born into it in the first place. Besides, I like to go hunting with the boys, I miss being able to stand up and pee on a tree, and hate the crap I have to put up with from the Neanderthals I hunt with.

Tinkerbell....
          You may have something there miss! To be honest SRS is not the ultimate panacea for everyont who dreamed of living as a girl. I'm not planning to go back, but let me say this much, there is sort of a group-think mindset that people seccumb to in TS support groups, those medical professionals make their living fostering this, and the shrinks simply don't know how to steer anyone away from it once they're on hormones as they become driven and willful. All they can do is help us to learn to live with our demons. I'm in counseling right now, been in counseling for seven years thus far and I'm learning to just be me, enjoy life and smell the roses.


Tinkerbell...

I agree with you Tink, we don't need anymore strange stuff in our heads than we already have.