It was a terrible strain for both of us.
We married in 1997 and it was (is?) a 'marriage made in heaven'.
Preceding that, I had unknowingly suffered hideously from high-intensity GID for over 30 years.
But in May of 2005, I finally understood what I was dealing with. Indeed, I told her that if I knew what I know now before we were married, we would never have married.
"I wouldn't have done that to you."
Not long ago whilst immersed in intense crying I said to her...oh God, I'm crying again..............
Oh crud, get a grip, girl........as you can see, I am still grieving over this....
...I told her that I saw us growing old together, the continuation of a dream come true--for both of us.
During transition, I would tell her that I would cease transitional progress after, for instance, initiating HRT. But then I would find myself driven onward not a couple of days afterward.
This pattern repeated itself many times over and understandably, she assumed that I was just 'stringing her along'.
Well, things become apparent even through my hard head and I realized that trying to hold a stasis on my transition in the context of the merciless driving of my TS, was but an exercise in futility.
She eventually saw this too but what I think had eradicated any doubt in her mind as to how the TS was actually an irresistable DRIVING force was when the self-surgeries were executed.
Conversely, she also saw how much more joyful, more social and much more comfortable in social settings that I now was and generally much happier, now that I was transitioning into the true feminine.
I still get bitter that God in His omniscience, when he effortlessly could have interdicted our forming as a couple even before that process started, allowed she and I to marry when He knew that I would learn this about myself well after we were married.
He HAD to have had a reason. The fact that I am not cognizant of the why, is meaningless.
We're still together as I scribe these words and there is NO doubt that the love is still very strong between us, but what will transpire in our futures, is entirely unknown nor is it even open to speculation.