I was thinking about this last night as I dragged myself home from the store and felt extremely worn out that being a woman (especially a pretty one) is hard work.  There is so much extra stuff you need to do during the day that you never did as male and the hormones supposedly sap away some of the energy you once had as well.  Does this mean I want to detransition?  No way!!!  All I had to do is think about what it was like before transition and that was enough to do it.  I may try to go a lower maintenance route though. 

I just went with simple jeans, shirt and sandals today, because I didn't feel like shaving my legs or worrying about people seeing a little extra if I wore a skirt.  I also went light on the makeup.  I'm not complaining, but just offering some words of advisory who may be thinking living as female is "fun" (which it is some of the time).  Of course, there are ways to reduce the amount of maintenance required.  SRS mean no tucking (but dilating instead).  Hair removal means less shaving.  More time on hormones mean makeup is less important.  Longer hair means I don't have to style it in a way to hide some more masculine features.  More time living as female means some things become more natural like the voice.  Just some things I've learned by living fulltime as female for almost 2 weeks straight now.  Fortunately, I still have most of the strength I had, so that has helped with some activities.

Melissa

Melissa, I had to laugh all the way through your post. Yes, it is harder if you want to dress up everyday. I hardly ever wear a skirt, maybe twice a month. I hate pantyhose. As far as make up goes, it is very light and it takes me about ten minutes to put it on. I like my hair the length that I have it, same as photo. I like to have my nails done every 3 weeks. I get my eyebrows waxed once a month. It is like I have told people before I had my surgery and when I kind of went nuts for a while. It isn't about the clothes, it has never been nor will it ever be. It is about my self image and the way I feel about myself. I'm not totally done with hair removal, but no one can see it and so I do shave every day. It is very light and fine now. I can feel it and that is why I shave. Talk about strength, I lost a lot of my muscle power. My wife can pick things up now that I can't even try and pick up. When I was in my late teens, I used to do a lot of weight lifting. The most I have ever benched was 419 lbs. Now that was when I was younger and I only did it one time. I am a retired meatcutter and have on a daily basis lifted boxes that were 150 lbs or more, several times a day. I didn't think anything of it. Now I can't even lift stepping stones. Have to have help. I guess I'm a wuss. :0) I don't miss it at all either.
Sheila

I could only bench about 100 pounds (10 reps) before HRT.  I'll have to see what it is now.  I just was a little scared I wouold put too much on and injure myself.

I think I've only worn pantyhose once since going fulltime and I took them off as soon as I got home and once or twice before that for the entire year. They are definitely less comfortable after you have fat go to your thighs.  No reason to wear them during these hot summer months either.  Now mind you, I hardly dress all that fancy every day.  I was meeting somebody for lunch yesterday and wanted to look nice, however I had to go shopping before I went home and I was wearing heels.  Needless to say, I ended my shopping trip as quickly as possible.  Normally I just wear pretty comfy sandals with either jeans, capris or a skirt.  The nice thing about wearing a skirt is if I come untucked it's not obvious.  Besides, if I have to go through with the whole transition things, I'm going to take advantage of some of my new rights .

Melissa

QuoteSRS means no tucking (but dilating instead).

Could you enlighten me as to what dilating means?
Or is it one of those girl things that I don't need to know?

It's one of those girl things you don't need to know.   But, I'll tell you anyways.  After SRS, you need to slowly enlarge the size of the hole by inserting "stints", which are hard plastic things you use to stretch it.  After you increase it to a certain size, you are supposed to maintain it on a regular basis to keep it from shrinking again.

Melissa

6 years postop, and I dilate twice a week.  I paid about $17K for this and want to protect my 'investment.'

, my husband gives me my privacy during those times.  He doesn't want to know, I'm sure.

Robyn

I'm 2 years post op and I do it once a week. Sometimes it can be fun ;0) I don't use that plastic thing all the time, I have bought others and I do it privately.
Sheila

I just tried seeing what I could lift.  I can still lift 100 pounds after nearly 6 months HRT, but I could only do 6 reps.  I guess I really haven't lost much muscle.  I haven't even worked out at all for the past 9 months.  I had girl arms to begin with, so I may never lose my arm strength, or at least not much of it.

Melissa

Hi everyone,

Being a woman may be more work, as far as personal appearance goes, but to be honest with you, I never cared what I looked like in my male life.  I didn't care if my clothes matched, or if they were dirty, or if my hands or face was dirty.  I did not want to be a man so I did not care how I looked.  I bought the cheapest clothes, the cheapest shoes, etc.  I did not want to look like a guy at all, much less a guy with a certain image.

Perhaps being a woman is harder, but for me it is still way easier than pretending to be a man.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Being a woman may be more work but I don't think of it as being hard.  I am so much happier now that I don't consider it a chore to spend more time on skin care, hair care, and clothing.  I don't wear much make-up so that isn't even an issue.  Learning how to do all this extra care wasn't always easy and was occasionally frustrating, but I'm treating it as my chance to go through puberty again in the proper gender.  Like Elizabeth, I spent no time caring for my appearance before transition.  My entire wardrobe would've fit in an overnight bag then.

As for dilating, I don't consider it a chore, I knew it was something I would have to do and made up my mind to do it.  Besides, I have fun with it when I'm in the mood.  At first, it is uncomfortable but that improves as things heal.  It does hurt going to the next size but that goes away after a few insertions.  Like many before me, I didn't see any chance that the largest would *ever* fit but it does.  They say size doesn't matter? 

Hmm...

Has my best friend constantly reminds me...

Being a transsexual woman is like having a full time....
Yes im just singling out TS woman, Because being just a regular woman is work in itself....but being a TS woman is 3 times as hard......
I stop trying to be excessively pretty long ago when I was conmstantly reminded that it took me 3 hours just to get dressed and ready...Now I can do it in just under an hour!!!.....

Chynna

Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman.  I agree that being a TS woman is harder (tucking/dilating, extra hair, voice, lack of experience) than being a genetic woman, but I wouldn't say 3 times harder.  Much of my day is spent doing what any other woman would do and I think that's part of why I'm enjoying myself.  At least we don't have to deal with having periods.  It does only take me about 45 minutes to get ready (15 minutes longer than before) in the morning, but it should be reduced once facial hair removal is done.  I don't think I'm as worried about safety as much, because I have learned self defense and apparently I haven't lost hardly any strength (as I said above).

I was just making an observation based on my past 2 weeks.  It's not any harder than I thought it would be, but it's just a realization that it was as much work as I had imagined. I think it's more of a matter of getting used to it.

Melissa

It takes me about twice as long to get ready for work than it use too.
I now shave everyday as before I just let my facial hair grow. I'm also always warring against the stubble that grows all over my body. Also new to me is using a cleanser on my face and a lotion. Putting eyebrow liner and perfume. Choosing color coordinated clothing right down to under things. Then in the evenings I take a 5 mile brisk walk 3 times a week. I do sit-ups and other exercise before I go to bed every night.
Yes being female is higher maintenance than being a male who doesn't much care how he looks. But the strange thing is I like taking care of and fussing over myself.  Now I won't want it any other way.

Jillieann
 

Quote from: tinkerbell on July 23, 2006, 02:58:56 AM
Hi girls:

I'd heard about this, and to be honest I'm terrified...I don't like anything foreign in any of my natural orifices (I know I'm odd! but that's me!).  Anyhow I've heard that dilating is done to prevent the post-op vagina from shrinking but I didn't know you had to do it for life. 
My question is: does it hurt?  You don't have to be specific, I'd just like to know if it hurts, that's all.   


tinkerbell

Right after surgery, it can be a bit uncomfortable, Robin, but pain? NO.

So long as you prelube the vagina (just a dab about the size of a pea), and put an inch in the palm of your hand to lube the stent, it shouldn't be a problem.  You will find your own best technique for passing the muscle.  And then it's just a gentle on and off pressure for 20 minutes.  (Anyway, that's my routine.)

Dilation causes me a tiny little bit of spotting, too.  So I wear a Kotex Light Days Long panty liner that day.

Robyn

Quote from: tinkerbell on July 23, 2006, 07:02:29 PM

...it is just a matter of getting used to the new equipment, I would imagine..

You can google [vaginal stent dilator], to see what the equipment looks like.  Do check out the 'Femistent' brand -- four different model lines, tactile measurement indentations, some come with interchangeable handles or a sphere that can be 'hugged' by the thighs allowing two-handed reading, etc, whilst dilating...

As George Carlin once said, if somebody wants to buy a left-nostril inhaler with your state motto on it, someone will make it...

Karen

Like the rest of you, while I was dressing as a man and didn't really care what I wore. My hair was always short so I didnt have to comb it that much. I never took care of my skin and my clothes, well it depended on whether it was hot or cold. Yes, if I went anywhere, all I took was one or two pairs of jeans a couple of shirts, long sleeve and short, one pair of shoes and a change of underwear and that was it. Now that I have found myself, I take extra care of myself. I take a whole suit case for two days and then a make up bag for everything else. Pat takes about the same so we are packing.
 
Dialating is not a problem like what a couple of others have said. At first it is the scariest thing to do. I layed down on the bed and said Im going to insert that big thing into me. OMG Virginia. That was the small one. I have a set of three. I don't use the two small ones anymore. I don't know how long we have to dialate, but like Robyn has said, I spent the money for this, I don't want to lose it. I don't have any relations with a man so I do it myself. I bought a dildo and a vibrator along with my stent I keep it open and working just fine. I have some fun. There are times I will go two weeks and get back and not miss a beat. I don't mind and I do it when I have time. At first you have to do it so many times a day and for so long. It's not that way anymore. I have been on my schedule for over a year now and I'm 2 years post op.
Sheila

Quote from: Jillieann on July 23, 2006, 04:11:17 PM
It takes me about twice as long to get ready for work than it use too.
I now shave everyday as before I just let my facial hair grow. I'm also always warring against the stubble that grows all over my body. Also new to me is using a cleanser on my face and a lotion. Putting eyebrow liner and perfume. Choosing color coordinated clothing right down to under things. Then in the evenings I take a 5 mile brisk walk 3 times a week. I do sit-ups and other exercise before I go to bed every night.
Yes being female is higher maintenance than being a male who doesn't much care how he looks. But the strange thing is I like taking care of and fussing over myself.  Now I won't want it any other way.

Jillieann
 

Not much facial hair left due to laser.  As for body hair, I'm quick with a razor.  I don't use any kind of gel.  I just grab the shaver and whisk it over the skin quickly and can do my entire legs in about 2 minutes and my armpits/areola in about 1 more minute.  There's nothing else to really shave.  I never cut myself either.  Showers don't really take any longer than they used to now.   Also, I don't shave my legs every day.  Just when I want to wear skirts, shorts, or capris.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on July 23, 2006, 11:59:10 AM
At least we don't have to deal with having periods. 

LMAO.....You would think but for some odd reason my body's internal clock mimics that of a iological females so every 28 days or so I get severe cramps and moodeyness...My doctor had me keep a log and noticed this when I complained that my meds where causing me to have cramps he said well looking at your journal you seem to go throu this almost every 4 weeks...aint that a bytch! LOL and i still can't bear children! LOL

Chynna

I meant we don't have to worry about the tampons/pads for periods.  I didn't say we don't experience PMS or similar.

Melissa

Might as well....... in my case and I knew exactly what you were trying to say gyrl