Self Esteam is a quality of ones confidence in ones self,in their Happyness with their self as a whole, with the choices they have made in their lives
and their fathe in themselves.
I understand that Most TS's have a very low self esteam... lets see however if EVERYONE has a low self esteam  rather than listen to hearsay OK ?
Bob......

THROUGH THE ROOF!

And Still going Baby!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.....

Chynna

^*ponder* Quite a good question really.

I think I am somewhere between "I'ed say My self esteam is about avrage.", and "No, actually I have a fairly good self esteam"

so I went with "I'ed say My self esteam is about avrage.".

I have always spent a decent amount of time with myself, and I've had quite the good teachers so I should be at least mostly sorted out. However, something I have noticed in this transition process is a few things in which I can no longer ignore. Even so though, I suppose it amounts to "I am what I am.", and I can accept that.

I answered "yes and no, but it could be better".  A few months ago I would have answered that it was really low, but I have been working on it and I think it is improving.


Pam

QuoteI understand that Most TS's have very low self esteam...

In my research on trans-issues, I've come across many statements like this.
My first reaction was "We do?" However, I find this very sad if it is true.
I do not have low self esteem by any means. I like me. When I stand in front of the mirror, (especially now that I bind the breasts) nothing do I see that is not perfection.
I just don't appreciate being perceived as female when I am not.

This issue does bother me. If it is true that most of my people (transfolk) have self esteem problems, then we are in a bad state of affairs indeed.

Nero

Mine was pretty low for a long time. But then growing up I was treated like a useless know nothing kid. Watching myself develop into something I couldn't stand did add to it though.

Needless to say, it's not quite so low anymore.

I said very low..... which is true... I do have my high points.... When it comes to work I know what Im capable of and just go with it.... On the other hand Im a total social reject virtualy incapable of interacting with people face to face. <though over the phone Im fine... but they called me first>

I do have to admit though that low is a vast improvement on what it was 3 years ago which was somewhere in the field of negitive (less than none)  though its far less than what it was 7 months ago.  <great>

Things go up and down round and round... slowly but surely Im building it up again.

Like the pheonix from the ashes I rise again <and again, and again, and again LoL>

This is a very good question.
Thank you for posting it Bob. Many people don't realize that this can slip from time to time depending on what they are experiencing in their day to day life. Being comfortable with yourself and happy with you are is very important and can actually have great bearing on how the outcome of certain events and the paths our live take because of our choices. Even a pro at this can slip deeply if such a powerful blow to ones life is delt and can go into deep depression from such things. It some thing that everyone needs to practice daily.

Giving one a self check up in this department on a regular basis is very important.
Thanks for the reminder.

Smiles,
Peggiann

well. what's the mirror got to do with high self-esteem. My thought is that that behavior often indicates insecurity.

I'm worse than Chynna, through the roof, through the clouds, past the heavens. IE: fairly high. Could be better.

Quote from: jan c on July 23, 2006, 03:15:28 PM
well. what's the mirror got to do with high self-esteem. My thought is that that behavior often indicates insecurity.

I'm worse than Chynna, through the roof, through the clouds, past the heavens. IE: fairly high. Could be better.

Self esteem is liking the entire package. You could feel great about who you are on the inside, but that is only one aspect of it. High self esteem is being comfortable with yourself. And that includes being comfortable with your reflection. How many people who walk around complaining about their appearance have high self esteem?

Nero

Quote from: Nero on July 23, 2006, 04:23:49 PM
Self esteem is liking the entire package. You could feel great about who you are on the inside, but that is only one aspect of it. High self esteem is being comfortable with yourself. And that includes being comfortable with your reflection. How many people who walk around complaining about their appearance have high self esteem?

Nero

I def need to append my reply then, it was less than compleat. Liking the whole package to me does not necessarily mean what the last option in the poll implied. Can't tear oneself away from that reflection. Obsessed with the one-dimensional reflection indicates, well, some one-dimensionality. High self-esteem can mean that what happens to appear in a mirror starts looking pretty good. Even to a self-criticizing person.

QuoteHigh self-esteem can mean that what happens to appear in a mirror starts looking pretty good.

Probably the case with me, as I'm certainly not what you'd call conventionally handsome.

Nero

For the sake of argument.
Let's say you were in a horrible accident, Nero. Your face is irreparably to' up. Now It might be that you become 'comfortable with that reflection', some day. Ideally. But for the here-and-now it's not happening.

On the other hand you are doing exactly what you want to do, what you feel you should be doing, every day of your life.

Fit this scenario with your assertion.

Quote from: Nero on July 23, 2006, 04:23:49 PM
Self esteem is liking the entire package. You could feel great about who you are on the inside, but that is only one aspect of it.

Which is why it's diificult for me to answer this question. I'm very confident with who I am inside (not just in terms of gender, but spiritually) - and yet, being seen in public (just presenting as a "normal" guy) has always been traumatic for me. I can't shake the feeling that I'm wearing a flimsy man costume, like being in drag, and that everyone can somehow tell that I'm TS. I feel... silly and deceitful.

Heck, maybe being confident with who I am inside is actually *causing* the problem... ironic thought, huh?

Quote from: jan c on July 23, 2006, 05:02:24 PM
For the sake of argument.
Let's say you were in a horrible accident, Nero. Your face is irreparably to' up. Now It might be that you become 'comfortable with that reflection', some day. Ideally. But for the here-and-now it's not happening.

On the other hand you are doing exactly what you want to do, what you feel you should be doing, every day of your life.

Fit this scenario with your assertion.

Good argument. I would still be me. I would still be a good person. My self-perception would not change.
Maybe it really is all about the inside. If self esteem was dependent on the outside, those of us who are not conventionally attractive would be in trouble.

Nero

I'm pretty cool with who I am.  Granted there were times when I didn't feel so good, but I think we have all experienced those feelings.  Right now I'm a confident woman, in a position to influence others and I'm very comfortable with who I am.  I hope that others see this as mutual respect goes a long way.  Yes there are days when I don't feel so great, but I like who I am, I like what I've been able to accomplish.

If you like yourself what is there not to like   Ok that's a little self-centred...

Steph

P.S.  I am woman hear me roar. ^{*Helen Reddy*}

I said that I have very good self esteem.

Yes, the last few weeks have shaken me, but I know who I am. 

I know that my voyage of discovery is underway, and I feel good about what I am learning.

At the moment, my physical shell does not match my inner spirit.  This is correctable.  I am willing to pay the price to do just that. 

Chaunte

psssst!  Steph!  Those lyrics are Helen Reddy, not Carly Simon!

My self esteam is very low at the moment.

Alice

Thanks Cini,

I like your old days pic.

Alice

I think a transsexual's self-esteem is more related to where they are in their lives.  Somebody who is transsexual and has not come to terms with it would generally have fairly low self esteem.  Somebody who has come to terms with it, but is suffering fom severe dysphoria may also have low self esteem.  Somebody who has started transitioning will generally start feeling much better about themselves and pretty quickly.

Melissa