Ok so a question was brought up in the group session today. How is it that people in their early 20's (say 20-22) know that transitioning is a good idea or the right fit for you since 20 something's often change their  minds about what they want and want to be (example changing college majors 5 or 6 times). we are suppose to think of a valid, well thought out response but I don't really know the best way to answer this question? I mean i use to question myself every so often is it the right choice? You know like will I ever be able to find a guy who will be with me and not mind me being a transsexual or will me family talk to me and such?

I think that is something you can only answer for yourself, since everyone's answer will likely be a variation on a theme.

Uncertainty isn't just the vice of the young, though. It can strike at any time.

One thing to think about... if it's how you feel, is anything actually invalid? That strikes me as a request to provide an answer the questioner agrees with and accepts, that they bestow validity upon, rather than accepting the way you actually feel, whatever that may be.

Before puberty I knew at some point I would transition.
How can it be a phase if you knew since as long as you can remember.

Some people know from very early on that things were not right. This is why you go through therapy and take the time to work all of this out before you can do anything 100% permanent. Could you still change your mind later, of course, but the idea is that the more prepared for it that you are, the less chance there is of that, and the good times would easily offset the bad times (as in you may one day wish you were still ____, but only because you had a bad day, the rest of the time you are quite happy with who you have become).

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Post Merge: March 13, 2009, 08:34:54 PM

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Also, there is nothing wrong with questioning, it's normal, the more you question yourself, the more answers you will get.

We could give you an answer, but it would not be the right answer FOR YOU.
The answer you seek is in you, just have to find a way to express it.

Using changing college majors as an example of changing decisions frequently isn't really the best comparison by the way.  What your major is in college doesn't define you for the rest of your life and remember most of the time whatever you major in you will probably never end up doing in the long run as well. 

Also, no one knows yourself and your feelings better than you.  In college, you're exploring as to what you want to do in the real world for the rest of your life.  When it comes to gender problems such as trans stuff, you've already known this for a while and that's why people ultimately make up their mind and choose to transition at a younger age.

Eventually, in the end, the only person you can trust is yourself.  You can't think of all the "what ifs" because those tend to just second guess yourself into some psychotic crazyness of indecision.  Well, that's what happened to me hehe.  Anyways, I think at that age you mentioned that people should be responsible enough for their own lives as well. Especially, since gender issues normally plague us for as long as we can remember.

 

Yeah I have to say the intimidation of the question had me like huh? Since we do bounce around a lot about a lot of things at this age but My gender issues have been one of the few things that has been consistent

Well I'm not even close to still being in my 20s and I still had people question whether or not I'd regret it later.  Heck, I waited half my life.

If I could have transitioned in my 20s I would have.  I just didn't know what my problem was or that there was even a 'cure.'


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on March 17, 2009, 10:01:50 AM
Well I'm not even close to still being in my 20s and I still had people question whether or not I'd regret it later.  Heck, I waited half my life.

If I could have transitioned in my 20s I would have.  I just didn't know what my problem was or that there was even a 'cure.'


Jay

I think we all would have rather done it earlier, and for some reason couldn't.

It won't happen unless you are ready.

This is an EXCELLENT question, Hun.

The people above also gave you excellent answers, IMHO.  Really, it all comes down to you ... and you alone. 

Want to go to a good website that discussed this very issue?  Check out the website of Jennifer Diane Reitz at www.transsexual.org and see the subcategory that discusses this very thing.  It may help you a lot.  Notice that the website URL just before this sentence is a hotlink?  Just click on it ... it'll take you DIRECTLY to Jennifer's website.  Try it and check it out.  Pretty cool, I think!

Transitioning?  When?  Many of us on here waited too long.  I know I certainly did.  Don't get too old if you're going to really carry through and do this.  Know why?  Because, both the recovery and effects of transition are much faster and much better the younger you are.

Think it through, Hun.  Go with your HEART.  That's where the answer really lies.  What's your FEELING about transitioning?  Again, just my opinion.

Good luck!

Hugs.

Quote from: whatw on March 13, 2009, 06:22:49 PM
Ok so a question was brought up in the group session today. How is it that people in their early 20's (say 20-22) know that transitioning is a good idea or the right fit for you since 20 something's often change their  minds about what they want and want to be (example changing college majors 5 or 6 times). we are suppose to think of a valid, well thought out response but I don't really know the best way to answer this question? I mean i use to question myself every so often is it the right choice? You know like will I ever be able to find a guy who will be with me and not mind me being a transsexual or will me family talk to me and such?

IMO I think that your therapist has a misconception about transitioning.  Transitioning has nothing to do with a "Right Fit", being a "Good Idea" or what they "Want or want to be" it's a recommended course of action as a result of a diagnosis of what that person "Is"

LR

How do you know that not transitioning is a "good idea" or the "right fit"?

Find your line, drop in, and rip hard. That works equally well for skiing and for life.

Choosing a major is choosing "What do I want to do/work with for the rest of my life?"

The choice to transition is more a matter of "Who am I?"

You can know who you are and not know what job you'd like to have in 20 years.