I've been on hormones about 2 months and I love the way I feel. I can't imagine going back to the old me. There are some physical differences that are certain: change in skin tone for the better, less regrowth of body hair, changes in scent. et cetera. Even my gestures seem to be more feminine than in the past, and I never expected hormones to change my body language.

But, oddly enough, when I look at photos of myself or just in general, I think I am less attractive than before. I am not yet very feminine in appearance, but not masculine either. I've added a few pounds. Some of it I love, like the girl fat around the hips, but some of it is just a little too much and makes me look less attractive.

I going to continue with the e, but being in-between is super-difficult. I'm ruining my male appearance and it is uncertain whether my female appearance will pass with flying colors. I think what you feel inside is the most important, but I want it all. I want the female me to be at least close to as attractive as the male me was in the recent past. But right now I am in-between and it sucks. Maybe I just need less vanity in general. Part of it is that I worry whether anyone will be attracted to me both inside and out in the future.  Anyone else go through this? How to get past it? I don't like being in-between.

Britney

I dreaded in between, and to me, I saw myself as in between, but others just picked a gender and went with it. I suspect that those who want to be seen as in between have a much harder time than those of us who want to be planted squarely in one camp or another.

As far as reality went for me, people just switched, one weekend, and everyone suddenly called me 'sir' 'dude' and whatever. Still hear the odd pronoun slip, but what I noticed last weekend is that people actually pronoun slip on cis ppl too. Or maybe it's just my friends.

In between, when you don't want to be there, isn't the best place to be, but it is a transitional phase. Keep thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel.

Dennis

I'm not on HRT yet but I have some anxiety about exactly the thing you're talking about.  I can't think of much other than that it's part of the progress to your goal and hopefully will seem worth it at the end.  I've heard a lot more positive stories than negative ones about HRT but I don't think many found it to be a walk in the park .

yesi agree the inbetween is hard and awkward, even upsetting and frustrating but as Dennis has pointed out just pick a gender and run with that. All those anxieties seem to melt away after that hunny as you become comfy with your new feelings.

Also 2 months of HRT is just a blink of your biological eye ofc, wait for 2 years your be seeing it all different i am sure.

I have to agree with everyone else. The in between phase is awkward but is part of puberty sort of say. I mean go down your street and ask any girl in between 12-20 and they will tell you yeah it is a hard time because your body is changing as is your mind. But this to shall pass! I know how you feel being on HRT myself I think im am totally U-G-L- to the Y, but others tell me its not so. I would say congratulations you have the same insecurities that every other girl has. Oh yeah after 12 months the changes really start to become noticeable in a really good way.

I know this feeling all to well.  About a month ago I totally freaked out over this.  I thought for a moment that I had made a huge mistake in starting HRT and had considered (briefly) coming off of them.  I am  about 90% full time right now and all that is missing is a job (currently looking for a new one) where I am me.  I just panicked over the whole thing.  I knew at this point I couldn't really pull off passing as a guy anymore and yet, for the job reason, I could not move forward and finish the journey to becoming full time.  Coupled with anxiety of interviewing for new jobs in my current situation, I realize I have to be up front and honest with them about what is going on in my life and just hope they are understanding.  It is a very frustrating point in my life.

I think this is a common thing amongst us.  It is nothing more than a phase and will pass in time.  Welcome to puberty 2.0 I guess.   

And for Kiera... i'm 31 and been on HRT for 5 months now.  There.. someone posted their age.   

I know how you feel on the whole acting as you are a.k.a being yourself. I use to have a girlfriend that would always point out what I was doing wrong, not acting guy enough. She eventually broke up with me cuz I was not manish enough for her. I was just lie whatever I didn't want to date a girl anyways. Only did it to please my parents. Oh yeah I have been on hrt for like a year now and im 22 so theirs another person whose posted age.lol
Ask me anything anytime im pretty much an open book

I hadn't thought about how awful a second puberty would be. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do next and when to start hormones. It really helps to hear this stuff!

Well the good news is one day you'll be past the "in between" stage.  Takes a while, For me,  53 BTW, I was looking ok after one year, and not two shabby after 2-1/2 years hrt now.  Now at 5 months I thought I was looking better, but looking back, well it was not all that pretty. But I survived and am very glad to be on the otherside.  Hang in there after all it's why they call it transistioning

Beni

I have been on hrt 10 months but back around the 7th month mark i put some pics together one from 2007 about 6 months before starting hrt, when i looked at the pics i was amassed and i have to say a little scared at first at the changes i saw, looking at myself every day in the mirror i didn't notice them. 2 months in you won't see too many changes yet but they are just getting started and after 6-8 months let us know if you still feel the same about how you look, as far as ruining your male appearance isn't that what it's all about. I don't like the in-between stage either, can't wait till my hair gets long enough, i finish facial hair removal, get my voice where i want it and lose some weight. I dress very androgynous leaning toward the feminine side and others that i haven't come out too yet see something different about me other than the clothes but they don't know what, one of these days the light bulb will go off in somebody's head and i will get some questions, until that happens I'm having fun with it. And for anyone interested i happen to be 56.

I am still struggling to leave the boy and welcome the girl fully. I appreciate very much everyone that had positive comments for me. Still difficult. Hormones.

...Britney